The Plague of Doubt

". . .the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; 

your prayer has been heard.

Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son,

and you are to give him the name John. . .'

Zechariah asked the angel, 'How can I be sure of this?

I am an old man and my wife is well along in years?'

The angel answered, 'I am Gabriel.

I stand in the presence of God, 

and I have been sent to speak to you

and to tell you this good news.

And now you will be silent and not able to speak

until the day this happens,

because you did not believe my words, 

which will come true at their proper time.'"

Luke 1:13, 18-20

I remember when my oldest daughter was 4-years old.  She was always a chatterbox, but when she came into the age of inquisition, she became an interrogator worthy of the CIA or FBI.

"Come on, honey, it's time for me to give you and your sisters a bath."

"Why?"

"Because you're dirty and it's almost time for bed.  It's nice to go to bed clean."

"Why?"

"So you won't get the sheets dirty."

"Why?"

"Because then I'll need to wash the linens and I'd rather not make so much work for myself."

"Why?"

"Because I already have enough to do, now come on and gather up your sister's pajamas and let's head into the bathroom."

"Why, Mommy?"

"Because I said so!"

Preschoolers are naturally curious, constantly seeking to learn about the world around them.  I, too, tend to want to know why things are a certain way or what makes someone do what they do. There's nothing wrong with a healthy interest in what makes things tick.  Take Mary, for instance.  When the same angel that visited Zechariah showed up in her presence, Gabriel gave her some astounding news: you are going to have a baby named Jesus who will grow up to be some kind of ruler over a never-ending kingdom and will even be called the Son of the Most High. (Luke 1:26-38)

Mary accepted this shocking news but showed a simple curiosity in how it would all come about since she wasn't married.  How would she become pregnant; how was God going to bring this about?  There was no question as to whether this event would happen, just an interest in how it would occur.

Zechariah, on the other hand, questioned the accuracy of this message and God's ability to bring it to pass.  To make his point, he called attention to the old age of he and his wife.  

Curiosity is not discouraged by God; only doubt.  I am reminded in Hebrews 11:6, that without faith, or the ability to believe something will happen, it is impossible to please God.  

But I am prone to doubt, just like Zechariah.  His experience reminds me that there are consequences for my doubt.  Thankfully, my doubt will not stop the will of God.  Just as God's promise still came to pass in the form of a baby named John, God's purpose will always go forth. (Isaiah 14:26-27)  The only question is: Will I be a part of it, or will I be watching from the sidelines, mute and paralyzed by fear and disbelief?

God's Sovereignty

My husband and I owned a tandem bike for a period of time.  It was difficult for me to ride in back while he controlled the handlebars and brakes.  Donald decided in which direction to go and when it was time to stop.  If we rode down a hill, only he could slow it down.  In a nutshell, my husband had all the control and I had none.

This is kind of how it is with me and God.  He decides the direction my life will take, how fast I need to go, when it's time for a bumpy ride and when I need to stop for a rest.  This is His world and He's in control.

The problem is, I possess this desire to know my own future.  I want to know the details of what's coming up ahead.  When I give into this desire, I attempt to figure out what is happening and what I think will be the expected outcome.  I analyze all the possible angles, coming up with solutions for each scenario.  I spend a lot of time thinking about the issues at hand.  Much to my dismay, the reality is that this is the definition of "worry."

When I doubt God's ability to lead me well and hesitate to give Him control, I fall into an anxious heap.  Jesus said not to go after our needs or to try to orchestrate the details of my life because God knows what I need.  Instead, He said to, "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things (all my needs) will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow  will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  (Matthew 6:32-34)

Worry and anxiety is a sign that I'm not trusting God's sovereignty and His ability to lead me well.  

If I want to avoid the plague of doubt when it comes to God's control over my life, I must learn to trust Him enough to place everything in His capable hands.  (Philippians 4:4-7)

God's Calling

God asked the impossible from a man who doubted.  He wondered how God could possibly use a reject like him to deliver such an important message to His people.  What if they didn't listen?  What if they didn't believe him?  What if he couldn't get the words out?  Who am I to do something so big?

The question is not, as Rafiki of the Lion King asked Simba, "who are you?"  Rather, the inquiry I should constantly make is, "who is God?"  You see, God's calling on my life has nothing to do with me.  It isn't dependent upon my abilities, gifts or desires.  Instead, it is about God and His ability.

When Moses asked God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"  God's reply was, "I will be with you."  (Exodus 3:11-12)

In the same way, when God places a burden on my heart for the hurting and downtrodden in my own neighborhood, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do the job, I can remember that God is with me.

Or when God convicts me to teach a Bible study despite my lack of degree in Bible teaching, I can take heart that God is with me.

Or when God inclines my heart toward the people of a third-world country even though I've always hated to travel, I will gain courage from the fact that God is with me.  It's not up to me.

The anecdote to doubt in the face of God's calling is to remember that God is with me and He will accomplish what He set out to do.

God's Plan

Clouds are looming on the horizon.  My way seems dark with no way out.  Voices laugh tauntingly as I continue down the path that seems destined for doom.  Should I continue on the way my Master pointed?  I wonder as my foot falls in a pothole.  Is this the way He meant for me?  It seems wrong; filled with pain and suffering.  How can this be right?

Which way is God leading that seems risky or perhaps not something I would choose for myself?  When I read that the Lord said, "For I know the plans I have for you. . .plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," it's easy for me to form a picture in my mind of what those plans may look like.  I see comfort, pleasure and fulfillment.  

Then reality sets in as the test from the doctor comes back positive, the daughter goes missing or the loved one moves on to someone else.  How can anything good come out of this?  

Just as God allowed hard things to enter Job's life in order to test his faith, sometimes God allows trials and difficulties in the same way.  Other times, God's plan includes working with people I don't like, doing I job I don't particularly enjoy, or sticking with a marriage that brings unhappiness.  

Living a life of faith devoid of doubt means I'll have to do as Solomon instructed in Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT.  "Trust in the LORD with all you heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."  

In order to stop doubting, I must trust God's plan as good, even when it seems bad.

Asking questions of God is not forbidden, but doubting whether He is really in control of all things, is calling me to do something big or even small, or has a plan for my life comes at a price.  To fight the plague of doubt, I'll have to place my life in His hands, remember that He equips the called, and that His plan is good no matter how it looks to me.  Then I will avoid the consequences that come with disbelief and be able to say as Mary did, "I am the Lord's servant.  . .May it be to me as you have said."  (Luke 1:38)

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God with my whole heart and let go of the fear that holds me back.

When do I let my own insecurities hold me back from answering God's calling?

How do I judge a hard thing as not from God?