He Holds Me Together

"On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you;

your right hand upholds me."

Psalm 63:6-8

It seemed as if there was no purpose, no reason for the suffering.  Everything looked like it was falling apart; my life suddenly appeared as if it were a series of tragic mistakes with every door that appeared before me slamming in my face.  What was I to do?  Where was I to go to find help?  Did anybody care?  Where was this God who had claimed to love me?

My family recently sold every stick of furniture in order to move across the country so we could help my dad in his time of need.  When we arrived at our destination, we felt like Abram, going to the land where God had called us without knowing our exact destination. (Genesis 12:1)  I expected God to make our paths straight, however, setting everything up to prepare us for a smooth transition.  

As is to be expected with a God whose ways are far superior to mine, He had something else in mind.  As we lived the lives of the homeless for nearly two weeks, I wondered if we were fools to give up everything; our home, our security, our friends, and recklessly set out on this venture without a plan, without having everything set in stone before we left.  We believed God had the plan and was faithful to provide, but my eyes were telling me a different story.  What kind of a plan was this?

Thankfully, God is God no matter what I go through.  Consequently, when it seems like everything is falling apart, He is still there holding me together. It just takes eyes of faith to be able to remember the truth when my difficult circumstances obscure it from my perception.

Plan.  God's plan is not diminished by my crummy situation or difficult state of affairs.  When I focus on the problems that overwhelm, my life seems like nothing more than a big cosmic joke.  As I flounder through each day, each blow solidifies my belief that life is simply a series of random acts with no purpose.

When I turn my attention back toward the Maker of heaven and earth, reminding myself of His great and good plan for my life, I remember He takes every heartache, every struggle and every tragedy and works it together for my good. (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Romans 8:28) He take the ashes and turns them into beauty.  In His mighty and gracious hands the grief is transformed into joy.  Where I perceive nothing but ruins He brings about restoration.  (Isaiah 61:3-4)

When it seems like everything is falling apart, His plan is not diminished one bit by my lack of faith.

Love.  No matter how difficult my life becomes, His love still sustains me.  Trouble is, I tend to hold a low view of love, thinking His compassion for me will lead me through nothing but green pastures and beside quiet streams.  I focus more on my comfort, desiring to live a pampered life free from difficulty.  When the inevitable trials come, it gives me the idea that God doesn't love me anymore, that He doesn't care enough to shield me from heartache and pain.

The truth is that there is nothing that can separate me from His love: the potholes of life, the sorrow of death, the fear that grips my heart or the anxiety about what is to come.  None of these things or any other power on earth or below it can take me away from His great love for me.  (Romans 8:28-29)

When it seems like everything is falling apart, God's love for me is not lost by my lack of faith. (Psalm 100:5)

Hope.  The one thing I always have through Christ Jesus is hope.  If this life was all there was, it would truly be hard to carry on.  Thankfully, through faith in Christ, I have eternity with Him to look forward to. (1 Corinthians 15:19)

Therefore, when it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to my life, I can remember the place being prepared just for me where I will experience true fulfillment and belonging. (John 14:1-3)  When my life is marked with much suffering and pain, I can keep my eyes on the prize of heaven which will make the struggle worth it.  (Philippians 3:14)  When I am surrounded by trouble, I can keep my eyes fixed on Jesus who endured far worse for my sake.  (Hebrews 12:1-4)

When it seems like everything is falling apart, the hope I have in Christ Jesus is never gone even when my faith falters.

One thing I can count on in this life is trouble.  Despite the difficult seasons I must endure, God's plan is never diminished, His love is not lost, and the hope I have in Christ is never gone.  Even when I feel otherwise, the truth tells me a different story.  He always holds me together and this time is no different.  Will I trust Him with today's trouble?

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I will give God a chance to work through my circumstances.

When do I despair based on what I see instead of rejoicing in what I cannot see but is no less real?

How do I fail to walk by faith? 

The Plague of Doubt

". . .the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; 

your prayer has been heard.

Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son,

and you are to give him the name John. . .'

Zechariah asked the angel, 'How can I be sure of this?

I am an old man and my wife is well along in years?'

The angel answered, 'I am Gabriel.

I stand in the presence of God, 

and I have been sent to speak to you

and to tell you this good news.

And now you will be silent and not able to speak

until the day this happens,

because you did not believe my words, 

which will come true at their proper time.'"

Luke 1:13, 18-20

I remember when my oldest daughter was 4-years old.  She was always a chatterbox, but when she came into the age of inquisition, she became an interrogator worthy of the CIA or FBI.

"Come on, honey, it's time for me to give you and your sisters a bath."

"Why?"

"Because you're dirty and it's almost time for bed.  It's nice to go to bed clean."

"Why?"

"So you won't get the sheets dirty."

"Why?"

"Because then I'll need to wash the linens and I'd rather not make so much work for myself."

"Why?"

"Because I already have enough to do, now come on and gather up your sister's pajamas and let's head into the bathroom."

"Why, Mommy?"

"Because I said so!"

Preschoolers are naturally curious, constantly seeking to learn about the world around them.  I, too, tend to want to know why things are a certain way or what makes someone do what they do. There's nothing wrong with a healthy interest in what makes things tick.  Take Mary, for instance.  When the same angel that visited Zechariah showed up in her presence, Gabriel gave her some astounding news: you are going to have a baby named Jesus who will grow up to be some kind of ruler over a never-ending kingdom and will even be called the Son of the Most High. (Luke 1:26-38)

Mary accepted this shocking news but showed a simple curiosity in how it would all come about since she wasn't married.  How would she become pregnant; how was God going to bring this about?  There was no question as to whether this event would happen, just an interest in how it would occur.

Zechariah, on the other hand, questioned the accuracy of this message and God's ability to bring it to pass.  To make his point, he called attention to the old age of he and his wife.  

Curiosity is not discouraged by God; only doubt.  I am reminded in Hebrews 11:6, that without faith, or the ability to believe something will happen, it is impossible to please God.  

But I am prone to doubt, just like Zechariah.  His experience reminds me that there are consequences for my doubt.  Thankfully, my doubt will not stop the will of God.  Just as God's promise still came to pass in the form of a baby named John, God's purpose will always go forth. (Isaiah 14:26-27)  The only question is: Will I be a part of it, or will I be watching from the sidelines, mute and paralyzed by fear and disbelief?

God's Sovereignty

My husband and I owned a tandem bike for a period of time.  It was difficult for me to ride in back while he controlled the handlebars and brakes.  Donald decided in which direction to go and when it was time to stop.  If we rode down a hill, only he could slow it down.  In a nutshell, my husband had all the control and I had none.

This is kind of how it is with me and God.  He decides the direction my life will take, how fast I need to go, when it's time for a bumpy ride and when I need to stop for a rest.  This is His world and He's in control.

The problem is, I possess this desire to know my own future.  I want to know the details of what's coming up ahead.  When I give into this desire, I attempt to figure out what is happening and what I think will be the expected outcome.  I analyze all the possible angles, coming up with solutions for each scenario.  I spend a lot of time thinking about the issues at hand.  Much to my dismay, the reality is that this is the definition of "worry."

When I doubt God's ability to lead me well and hesitate to give Him control, I fall into an anxious heap.  Jesus said not to go after our needs or to try to orchestrate the details of my life because God knows what I need.  Instead, He said to, "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things (all my needs) will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow  will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  (Matthew 6:32-34)

Worry and anxiety is a sign that I'm not trusting God's sovereignty and His ability to lead me well.  

If I want to avoid the plague of doubt when it comes to God's control over my life, I must learn to trust Him enough to place everything in His capable hands.  (Philippians 4:4-7)

God's Calling

God asked the impossible from a man who doubted.  He wondered how God could possibly use a reject like him to deliver such an important message to His people.  What if they didn't listen?  What if they didn't believe him?  What if he couldn't get the words out?  Who am I to do something so big?

The question is not, as Rafiki of the Lion King asked Simba, "who are you?"  Rather, the inquiry I should constantly make is, "who is God?"  You see, God's calling on my life has nothing to do with me.  It isn't dependent upon my abilities, gifts or desires.  Instead, it is about God and His ability.

When Moses asked God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"  God's reply was, "I will be with you."  (Exodus 3:11-12)

In the same way, when God places a burden on my heart for the hurting and downtrodden in my own neighborhood, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do the job, I can remember that God is with me.

Or when God convicts me to teach a Bible study despite my lack of degree in Bible teaching, I can take heart that God is with me.

Or when God inclines my heart toward the people of a third-world country even though I've always hated to travel, I will gain courage from the fact that God is with me.  It's not up to me.

The anecdote to doubt in the face of God's calling is to remember that God is with me and He will accomplish what He set out to do.

God's Plan

Clouds are looming on the horizon.  My way seems dark with no way out.  Voices laugh tauntingly as I continue down the path that seems destined for doom.  Should I continue on the way my Master pointed?  I wonder as my foot falls in a pothole.  Is this the way He meant for me?  It seems wrong; filled with pain and suffering.  How can this be right?

Which way is God leading that seems risky or perhaps not something I would choose for myself?  When I read that the Lord said, "For I know the plans I have for you. . .plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," it's easy for me to form a picture in my mind of what those plans may look like.  I see comfort, pleasure and fulfillment.  

Then reality sets in as the test from the doctor comes back positive, the daughter goes missing or the loved one moves on to someone else.  How can anything good come out of this?  

Just as God allowed hard things to enter Job's life in order to test his faith, sometimes God allows trials and difficulties in the same way.  Other times, God's plan includes working with people I don't like, doing I job I don't particularly enjoy, or sticking with a marriage that brings unhappiness.  

Living a life of faith devoid of doubt means I'll have to do as Solomon instructed in Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT.  "Trust in the LORD with all you heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."  

In order to stop doubting, I must trust God's plan as good, even when it seems bad.

Asking questions of God is not forbidden, but doubting whether He is really in control of all things, is calling me to do something big or even small, or has a plan for my life comes at a price.  To fight the plague of doubt, I'll have to place my life in His hands, remember that He equips the called, and that His plan is good no matter how it looks to me.  Then I will avoid the consequences that come with disbelief and be able to say as Mary did, "I am the Lord's servant.  . .May it be to me as you have said."  (Luke 1:38)

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God with my whole heart and let go of the fear that holds me back.

When do I let my own insecurities hold me back from answering God's calling?

How do I judge a hard thing as not from God?

  

Know Him

" ' For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,

and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' "

Jeremiah 29:11-13

I accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of 12.  For the next 15 years, not much changed in my life.  Don't get me wrong, I went to church every Sunday where I learned what it meant to follow Jesus.  I read the Bible on a regular basis.  I prayed.  But these were all rituals. . . duties I could check off my list once finished.  These were things that were expected for a good Christian to do. Right?

It depends.  The thing about my life is that God was not a part of all these rituals.  Sure, I knew He was there and that He was the main character in this story I was learning as I read the Bible, but I didn't know Him personally, like I knew my sister, or my parents, or my friends.  He was this benevolent Being that was there, but separate from me in some way.

As I grew up, got married and began the job of raising a family of my own, my sister sent me a book called, "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King.  God used that Bible study to transform my mind and teach me about walking with Him on a personal level.  I learned that God is at work all around me and it is up to me whether I'll be a part of what He's doing, or just watch as a spectator on the sidelines.  I began to choose to participate, and my life has never been the same!

Hope for the Future

The first thing I noticed was that I sensed this excitement within me as I looked for evidence of God working around me.  I was getting to know the One with the plan for my life!  His plan was to give me hope and a future.  As I went through my day, raising my four daughters who were all in diapers at the time, I sensed a meaning in the drudgery.  Being there for my triplet daughters and their older sister was a part of a plan that God had for my life! 

Knowing there is a purpose gives me hope.  It means there is a blueprint that will give rise to a magnificent structure that no man can destroy.  It means every diaper I change, every runny nose I wipe, every shoe that I tie (and retie) is a part of that plan and serves a purpose in the scheme of God's blueprint!  It is not mindless drudgery as I so easily can think.  It is vital, necessary and crucial to the plan God has for me.  As David said in Psalm 39:7, "But now Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you." 

Getting to know the God who has the plan for my life gives me a sense of hope for a meaningful future.

Prayers are Heard

After I committed my life to getting to know God in a more intimate way, I noticed my prayers were different.  Instead of an empty habit or practice, it became a two-way conversation.  I knew my prayers were being heard by the Almighty God, and I was sensing His presence in a whole new way.  I had always known He was there, but now it was as if He was sitting beside me and we were talking.  

Jesus described this personal way of talking to God as a relationship between a Father and son.  He said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)  He then goes to explain that as much as an earthly father gives good things to his son, our heavenly Father will give so much more to those who ask.

This is not to say that God is a vending machine, but that He is a loving Father who listens to our prayers and responds in a very real way.  David enjoyed a close relationship with God, and he put it this way.  "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)  As I grow closer to God and take pleasure in getting to know Him, He will transform my heart to be more in tune with His.  

Getting to know God opens up a whole new way to pray as I become more in sync with Him.

Seek His Will

Growing up, I could never understand my parents and why they did the things they did.  When I became a parent, I could appreciate the decisions they made as they did what was best for their children.  It never seemed quite fair as a child, but when I became familiar with the role of parenting, my perspective changed.

This transformation process takes place as I grow closer to God.  I read in Romans 12 that I can either conform to the pattern of this world, or I can choose to "be transformed by the renewing of (my) mind. Then (I) will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (v2)

As I learn more about God and His ways, I can put those words into action, or I can let them sit on the page.  If I trust God at His Word and allow Him to change me, I will begin to recognize what He is doing all around me.  I will begin to see things with new eyes as I identify His work in the everyday things of life, and my life will take on new meaning.

Getting to know God gives me an opportunity to learn how to recognize His will for my life.  

As a Christian, I can either go through the motions, or I can go deeper.  If I choose the latter, I will discover a sense of hope for a meaningful future, a rich and fruitful prayer life, and a greater awareness of God's will for my life.  Walking with Christ is as significant as I make it.  I want to know Him today even more than I did yesterday!

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will seek God with all of my heart.  Then I know that I will find Him.

How do I go through the motions of what I think I should do without ever going deeper?

Am I in a relationship with a living God or a part of a religion filled with rituals and routines?

  

The Great Adviser

Who is like the LORD our God,
   the One who sits enthroned on high,
who stoops down to look
   on the heavens and the earth?

 He raises the poor from the dust
   and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes,
   with the princes of his people.
He settles the childless woman in her home
   as a happy mother of children.

Psalm 113:5-9

Dr Phil, Oprah, Dear Abby, mother, father, best friend, self-help books, therapist, pastor. . . There are many sources for advice, encouragement and help in this world, but there is no one like our God!

God is Sovereign   When I need to make a decision, its easy to get caught up in asking for advice from many people.  While it is true that, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed," (Proverbs 15:22) it doesn't mean my main source of advice should be human. "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." (Proverbs 16:9)  God is sovereign, and if I want to know the plan He has for my life, I must go to Him!  (Jeremiah 29:11)

God is Omniscient    When I am down, there is nothing that feels better than a bit of encouragement from a friend, or a stranger for that matter.  But when I make God my main source for lifting me up when I feel down, I will never be disappointed.  Job found this out the hard way when he turned to his friends for encouragement in a time of great trial in his life when he lost his family, his wealth and his health.  His friends started out supporting him, but in the end they blamed it all on him, saying that God must be punishing Job for some unconfessed sin.  Not very encouraging!  But when God spoke, He began to put everything in perspective by asking, "Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?"  (Job 38:4)  In the end, God was not pleased with Job's friends for they did not speak the truth about Him.  (Job 42:9) Listen to the message God sent to Balak through Balaam, "God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill?"  (Number 23:19) There is no better source of encouragement than our God who always knows what to say, and will never speak the wrong thing!

God is our Help   I remember driving down the road with my four young daughters some years ago and suddenly feeling the tell-tale "bump" of a flat tire.  The first thing I did was call AAA to come and help me.  How many times do I turn to other sources but never call on God?  "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)  I will never forget the feeling of helplessness when a 6.8 earthquake hit Washington state back in 2001.  As my daughters and I huddled in the hallway for an excruciatingly long 48 seconds, we cried out to God, knowing there was no one else who could help us. There is no one like our God!

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will remember to acknowledge God in all my ways.

Where am I turning to others before seeking counsel from the Lord?

When do I trust in my own resources instead of on the one who owns the cattle on a thousand hills?