Honor Thy Parents

"Honor your father and your mother,

so that you may live long in the land

the LORD your God is giving you."

Exodus 20:12

He moved near to his parents with the desire to honor them.  His attempts to draw near to them, however, are rewarded with cursing, belittling comments and anger that reveals their disappointment in their son.  As a result, this 50-year-old man rarely visits his mom and dad, choosing instead to avoid the tension and emotional abuse.  While his heart was in the right place, his efforts to honor his parents were not received in the way he had hoped.  Now he is left asking the question, "How do I honor my mom and dad?"

My heart breaks for this man.  While many may find it easy to respect and esteem their parents because they are loving, godly men and women, there are those who find it hard to follow through with God's fifth commandment.  What does God mean when He says to honor our father and mother?

Position

I don't agree with many of the decisions our current leader makes.  There are world views our president believes that seem downright destructive to the freedom and liberties our country holds dear.  I am sometimes disturbed by his perspective.  While many around me feel free to criticize him personally, making accusations that demean his position and office, I am learning the importance of respecting him as my president.  Even though I don't agree, it is important that I show a high regard for him as my leader.

This is the same mindset I must have regarding my parents.  There may be things with which I don't agree or even like about my mom or dad.  Still, the requirement to show respect for them as my parents remains and it takes humility at times to treat them as is fitting for their position.

As a result, it is important that I do not criticize them personally, tearing them down or saying things that would diminish them in the eyes of others.  Instead, I can choose to take my complaints before the Lord who will then restore I right heart within me.  (Psalm 51:10)

When I am tempted to dismiss their advice as foolish, I can instead consider the ways they have steered me right, doing the best they could with what they knew at the time.  A desire to respect their position means I will gain a consideration of the good things and not hold on to the bad. 

No matter how I feel about my parents personally, I can still choose to hold their God-given position in high regard.

Authority

Many children cannot wait to become adults so they can live their life the way they want.  They can't wait to be "out from under the thumb of their parents," so to speak.  What they soon find out is that while they may not live under the roof of mom and dad anymore, there is always someone to whom they must answer.

Submitting to authority can be a difficult thing, especially when I think I have the better idea of how to run my life.  Pride, however, goes before the fall and persisting in this self-important way of thinking will only lead to destruction.

Yielding to parental authority is important unto itself, but it is also training ground for accepting the leadership and guidance of those God places over me as I go through life.  Even more importantly, the ability to submit to parental authority sets the stage for my readiness to yield to God's authority in my life.  If I can't let my parents lead, how will I ever humble myself enough to let the Lord have control?

Even though I don't live in their home anymore, there are ways I can yield to the authority of my parents.  It is important I respect their wishes when visiting in their own home instead of trying to do things my way.  I can also do what I can to live at peace with them. (Romans 12:18)  There are also times when I can recognize the years of wisdom they have under their belt.

In order to honor my parents as God intended, it is important that I recognize the position of authority in which God has placed them.

Promise

She lives a full and meaningful life that extends well into her nineties.  When people ask her to tell the secret for her longevity, she quickly says, "I honor my parents."  Then she goes on to describe the example of when she took care of her mother during a time of illness, or when she helped provide for their needs during a period of hardship.  This wise woman made the connection between her service to her parents and the promise connected to the commandment to honor her parents.

Most of us want a long life and for things to go well for us, as is promised in Deuteronomy 5:16.  This promise reveals the importance God places on this command to honor my parents.  Therefore, I would be wise to do so.

I can consider spending time with them, giving them the gift of a listening ear and understanding tongue.  There is also a wealth of history to be learned by asking questions about their past.  When I take the time to dig out the treasures found in their memory banks, I am showing esteem to my parents.  It could be that the very words they long to hear the most are the ones that thank them for the ways they brought blessing into my life.

In these ways I can show honor to my mom and dad, resulting in a long and prosperous life.

I admit that I have struggled with what it means to honor my parents.  Even though I may not have done well in the past, God gives us new mercies every morning.  So on this day, it is my desire to hold the position my parents carry in high regard, and to recognize the authority which God has given to them.  I will also realize a promise when my heart is devoted to obeying God in this important command.  Therefore, it is important that I honor my parents.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I think of ways to show honor to my parents.

When do I let past hurts get in the way of showing respect to my parents?

What can I do today to let my parents know I appreciate them?