Wise Dealings

"Pharaoh will summon you and say,

'What is your occupation?'

Tell him,

'Your servants have taken care of cattle from our youth until now, both we and our fathers,'

so that you may live in the land of Goshen,

for everyone who takes care of sheep

is disgusting to the Egyptians."

Genesis 46:33-34 NET

I didn't know what to expect as my husband and I walked into the courthouse for a bond hearing regarding my brother-in-law's murder case.  Thankfully, the assistant District Attorney met with members of the family before the proceedings, taking the time to carefully explain the details of the hearing, what was expected of us as well as what we could anticipate to happen once we entered the courtroom.  As we later filed in and took our seats on the hard pew-like benches, each of us were prepared for what was to come.

When faced with an unknown situation in unfamiliar surroundings, it is good to be briefed on the protocol, traditions and expectations of the host, especially when facing a powerful entity like a judge in a court of law, or a king in a foreign country.  Therefore, when someone gives guidance as to how best to approach the unfamiliar, I am wise to heed their advice.

Unknown

My daughter and I sat at the Bengali woman's kitchen table, listening intently as she explained her religious beliefs.  We enjoyed our time together when suddenly she rose and said, "I would like for you to join us for lunch.  Come!  Fix a plate!"  I looked at my daughter, hesitating to take her up on this offer, knowing that our time to depart was fast approaching.  Assuming that rejecting my host's gracious offer might offend, we enthusiastically rose to join in the meal.  

As we ate and visited, I made sure to finish all my food, not wanting to cause offense.  Frustratingly, my new friend kept offering more and more food.  I thought, I'm going to burst at the seams!  Finally, this genial woman said, "I'm sorry.  We must get going or my children will be late for their class."  My daughter and I immediately thanked our hostess profusely and went on our way.  We couldn't help but be a little confused.  If she was running late, why did she insist we eat with her?  And why did she keep forcing food on us?

Later, I shared this bewildering experience with a friend who had spent some time in Bangladesh as a missionary.  She explained that offering for us to join in the meal was the custom in her country and it was expected that I decline, knowing that she was limited on time.  It is also the practice of their culture to signal a host a desire for more food by cleaning your plate.  Leaving a little left means you are full and do not want a second helping.

I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed at this breach of protocol, but my daughter and I were completely clueless.  In a similar way, there are times when I may enter into the unknown where certain prejudices exist, or there are practices of which I know nothing about.  In these cases, I would be wise to seek counsel before conducting business, seeking friendship or spreading the gospel.   I may end up doing more damage than good if I go into it blind.

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to learn the unknown ways of the people I seek to serve.

Traditions

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I found the ways of the southern part of the U.S. to be strange and confusing.  People used different terms like, "soda" instead of "pop" to describe a sweet, carbonated beverage.  I often was told to "mash" the button instead of "pushing" it or invited to "supper" instead of "dinner."  While these were just examples of a local vernacular, I did have to be careful not to carry an attitude of superiority since I sometimes thought the language to be a little inferior to the "proper" way of speaking we used up north.  After all, I would think, what does it mean to "mash"?

Once I know the traditions and ways of a culture, whether it be across the seas or in a neighboring community, I will find success when I respect their norms.  This must have been the attitude the Apostle Paul addressed when sending correspondence to the believers in Rome.  He said, "For there is no distinction between the Jew and the Greek, for the same Lord is Lord of all, who richly blesses all who call on him." (Romans 10:12 NET)

No matter how small my prejudices may be, others will most likely be able to detect my feelings.  Therefore, it is important that I deal with any prideful feelings I have regarding my heritage, background or education, nailing them onto the cross so God's merciful love can freely flow through me to all people, regardless of their ways.

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to humble myself at the foot of the cross where the ground is perfectly level.

Favor

When Jacob and his sons presented themselves before Pharaoh, they did as Joseph had instructed them to do.  After they said the prescribed words, the leader of Egypt appointed the clan to the best land and even offered a position tending the royal flocks to any of the men who desired such an occupation. (Genesis 47:1-6) God used their wise dealings with the king to grant the family royal favor.

In the same way, the Lord can use me to win over even the hardest heart simply in the way I show wisdom in my dealings with them.  If a relative expects all guests to view her extensive collection of tea cups when coming to visit, her heart would be more open to hearing about the love the Lord has for her if I willingly comply.

Other times I may be faced with an unreasonable expectation of a difficult neighbor who stubbornly insists walkers avoid the parking strip at her corner when crossing the street.  Instead of fighting her unrealistic logic, I could gain a better witness for Christ if I quietly observe her wishes.

There might even be a time when I am confronted with the dilemma of how to interact with a mean-spirited acquaintance.  Instead of dishing out the same sour attitude she serves up, I can let God's unconditional love cover over her shortcomings.  (1 Peter 4:8)

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to let God use me to love others by winning their favor by respecting their ways.

It is not easy to enter into an unknown situation.  When doing so, I need all the assistance I can get.  Therefore, I am wise to heed the advice of anyone who can help me negotiate the ways of the people I serve, to understand and respect their traditions and to win their favor in my consideration of their culture, beliefs or expectations.  In these ways I will glorify God in my wise dealings.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can be sensitive to the Lord's leading when dealing with others.

How do I unknowingly bring disgrace upon the name of the Lord when I disregard another's cultural traditions?

When do I think of my culture as superior to another's?