Who am I Hurting?

"'Pray no more for these people, Jeremiah.

Do not weep or pray for them,

and don't beg me to help them,

for I will not listen to you.

Don't you see what they are doing throughout the towns of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem?

No wonder I am so angry!

Watch how the children gather wood

and the fathers build sacrificial fires.

See how the women knead dough

and make cakes to offer to the Queen of Heaven.

And they pour out liquid offerings to their other idol gods!

Am I the one they are hurting?' asks the LORD.

'Most of all, they hurt themselves,

to their own shame.'"

Jeremiah 7:16-19 NLT

I dishonor God by failing to acknowledge Him as sovereign and staying true to Him alone.  But mostly it hurts me as I remove myself from all that is good and right (James 1:17).  How so?

Cultivate.  What seeds am I sowing?  What attitudes do I nurture?  What activities and mindsets do I promote, especially as a parent and a believer who is always watched by those around me?  If I look closely, I discover that I cultivate a spirit of busyness, pride in accomplishments, emphasis on education yet I ignore God, as if He is simply a means to another end.  Instead of looking to Him as the Source, as the Purpose, as my All in all, I use Him as the power to drive my agenda and to make my own selfish plans come to fruition.

While this sort of ungodly focus does fail to show respect and regard for God who is worthy to be praised at all times, it also hurts me.  It is to my own shame that I fail to see the value in connecting with God throughout my day, in teaching my children to look to Him as their source of wisdom, understanding and help, in growing in my bond with Him by trusting Him with every decision that must be made and every insecurity that wears me down.  I am made for relationship with God so when I neglect this higher purpose, I am missing a big chunk of what it is to be human as my Creator intended.

When I commit to cultivating my relationship with God, I am opening myself up to many blessings.

Dedication.  I faithfully attend church every time the doors are open.  I can be counted on to raise my hand whenever help is needed.  I'm devoted to the disciplines of my faith; reading the Bible daily, praying, fasting, discipling others.  I work hard to live a pure and holy life as is expected of me (1 Peter 1:15).  While I know the law doesn't save me, I try hard to adhere to it out of reverence to God.  Yet something is missing.

On the surface, it seems I am living the kind of life that would please God, that would give Him great pleasure, yet I'm missing the point.  You see, I am dedicated to a religion instead of a relationship with God.  I fail to perceive the God who is behind everything I'm doing as a living, breathing God who can be known and who desires that I grow closer to Him each day.  As my bond with Him grows, I'll find I'll want to gather with other believers and serve as He moves me.  As He and I become more intimate, I'll discover that a deep desire for the disciplines will well up inside of me like a hunger that must be satisfied, and a longing will develop to walk according to His indwelling Spirit who leads me in a way that honors His law (Galatians 5:16-18).  I am made for God, so when I dedicate myself to religious activity, I am missing out on the sweet thrill of drawing close to the One who made me and loves me perfectly.

When I dedicate myself to the Lord Himself as a living, breathing God, I am opening myself up to many blessings.

Sacrifice.  There are many gods to whom I can sacrifice.  I give up family time, a social life, and my health in order to taste success.  I surrender free time so that I can build up my bank account as I believe every responsible adult should.  I want a nice house and car so I work hard and reward myself with the finer things.  In order to taste happiness, I go after my dreams.  

This is the way most of us live our lives, willingly giving up lesser things in order to gain what is deemed as more valuable.  Yet in my desire to realize the American dream, I forget about the One who gives me life and breath.  Without Him, I wouldn't even exist let alone be able to run after all that I think will fulfill me.  I can even fool myself into believing that Jesus died so I can taste a rich and meaningful life, so He must want me to live life to the fullest, making the most of every opportunity to reach my full potential.  The problem is, I ignore God Himself, failing to realize the best way I can keep from wasting the one life I've been given is to honor Him by giving myself to Him as a living sacrifice, offering myself up as an instrument of righteousness to be used as He best sees fit (Romans 6:13, 12:1).  This is the kind of sacrifice that He desires.

When I sacrifice myself to the Lord, I am opening myself up to many blessings.

I dishonor God in many ways as I fail to acknowledge that He is at the center of all things.  I nurture the wrong things, commit myself to religion or tradition, and I surrender myself to what is temporary and shallow. When I live in such a way, I do more damage to myself than to God.  I was meant for so much more than all these things.  I was made for Him, and when I cultivate a bond with Him, dedicate myself to Him, and sacrifice my own will for His, I will discover what it is to live the good life.  I am only hurting myself when I live fail to live for Him!

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can taste the riches God has in store for me by drawing close to Him.  

When do I focus on doing for God instead of getting to know Him?

How much do I know God for myself?

     

Wise Dealings

"Pharaoh will summon you and say,

'What is your occupation?'

Tell him,

'Your servants have taken care of cattle from our youth until now, both we and our fathers,'

so that you may live in the land of Goshen,

for everyone who takes care of sheep

is disgusting to the Egyptians."

Genesis 46:33-34 NET

I didn't know what to expect as my husband and I walked into the courthouse for a bond hearing regarding my brother-in-law's murder case.  Thankfully, the assistant District Attorney met with members of the family before the proceedings, taking the time to carefully explain the details of the hearing, what was expected of us as well as what we could anticipate to happen once we entered the courtroom.  As we later filed in and took our seats on the hard pew-like benches, each of us were prepared for what was to come.

When faced with an unknown situation in unfamiliar surroundings, it is good to be briefed on the protocol, traditions and expectations of the host, especially when facing a powerful entity like a judge in a court of law, or a king in a foreign country.  Therefore, when someone gives guidance as to how best to approach the unfamiliar, I am wise to heed their advice.

Unknown

My daughter and I sat at the Bengali woman's kitchen table, listening intently as she explained her religious beliefs.  We enjoyed our time together when suddenly she rose and said, "I would like for you to join us for lunch.  Come!  Fix a plate!"  I looked at my daughter, hesitating to take her up on this offer, knowing that our time to depart was fast approaching.  Assuming that rejecting my host's gracious offer might offend, we enthusiastically rose to join in the meal.  

As we ate and visited, I made sure to finish all my food, not wanting to cause offense.  Frustratingly, my new friend kept offering more and more food.  I thought, I'm going to burst at the seams!  Finally, this genial woman said, "I'm sorry.  We must get going or my children will be late for their class."  My daughter and I immediately thanked our hostess profusely and went on our way.  We couldn't help but be a little confused.  If she was running late, why did she insist we eat with her?  And why did she keep forcing food on us?

Later, I shared this bewildering experience with a friend who had spent some time in Bangladesh as a missionary.  She explained that offering for us to join in the meal was the custom in her country and it was expected that I decline, knowing that she was limited on time.  It is also the practice of their culture to signal a host a desire for more food by cleaning your plate.  Leaving a little left means you are full and do not want a second helping.

I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed at this breach of protocol, but my daughter and I were completely clueless.  In a similar way, there are times when I may enter into the unknown where certain prejudices exist, or there are practices of which I know nothing about.  In these cases, I would be wise to seek counsel before conducting business, seeking friendship or spreading the gospel.   I may end up doing more damage than good if I go into it blind.

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to learn the unknown ways of the people I seek to serve.

Traditions

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I found the ways of the southern part of the U.S. to be strange and confusing.  People used different terms like, "soda" instead of "pop" to describe a sweet, carbonated beverage.  I often was told to "mash" the button instead of "pushing" it or invited to "supper" instead of "dinner."  While these were just examples of a local vernacular, I did have to be careful not to carry an attitude of superiority since I sometimes thought the language to be a little inferior to the "proper" way of speaking we used up north.  After all, I would think, what does it mean to "mash"?

Once I know the traditions and ways of a culture, whether it be across the seas or in a neighboring community, I will find success when I respect their norms.  This must have been the attitude the Apostle Paul addressed when sending correspondence to the believers in Rome.  He said, "For there is no distinction between the Jew and the Greek, for the same Lord is Lord of all, who richly blesses all who call on him." (Romans 10:12 NET)

No matter how small my prejudices may be, others will most likely be able to detect my feelings.  Therefore, it is important that I deal with any prideful feelings I have regarding my heritage, background or education, nailing them onto the cross so God's merciful love can freely flow through me to all people, regardless of their ways.

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to humble myself at the foot of the cross where the ground is perfectly level.

Favor

When Jacob and his sons presented themselves before Pharaoh, they did as Joseph had instructed them to do.  After they said the prescribed words, the leader of Egypt appointed the clan to the best land and even offered a position tending the royal flocks to any of the men who desired such an occupation. (Genesis 47:1-6) God used their wise dealings with the king to grant the family royal favor.

In the same way, the Lord can use me to win over even the hardest heart simply in the way I show wisdom in my dealings with them.  If a relative expects all guests to view her extensive collection of tea cups when coming to visit, her heart would be more open to hearing about the love the Lord has for her if I willingly comply.

Other times I may be faced with an unreasonable expectation of a difficult neighbor who stubbornly insists walkers avoid the parking strip at her corner when crossing the street.  Instead of fighting her unrealistic logic, I could gain a better witness for Christ if I quietly observe her wishes.

There might even be a time when I am confronted with the dilemma of how to interact with a mean-spirited acquaintance.  Instead of dishing out the same sour attitude she serves up, I can let God's unconditional love cover over her shortcomings.  (1 Peter 4:8)

If God is to be glorified in everything I do, I would be wise to let God use me to love others by winning their favor by respecting their ways.

It is not easy to enter into an unknown situation.  When doing so, I need all the assistance I can get.  Therefore, I am wise to heed the advice of anyone who can help me negotiate the ways of the people I serve, to understand and respect their traditions and to win their favor in my consideration of their culture, beliefs or expectations.  In these ways I will glorify God in my wise dealings.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can be sensitive to the Lord's leading when dealing with others.

How do I unknowingly bring disgrace upon the name of the Lord when I disregard another's cultural traditions?

When do I think of my culture as superior to another's?

Intimacy

"I correct and discipline everyone I love.

So be diligent and turn from your indifference.

Look!

I stand at the door and knock.

If you hear my voice

and open the door,

I will come in,

and we will share a meal together as friends."

Revelation 3:19-20 NLT

My relationship with my daughter has changed through the years.  At first it was completely one-sided as she demanded my attention and depended completely on me to provide for her needs.  As she's grown, she has been able to do more and more for herself until the girl became a woman and she didn't need me anymore.  While this stage can be painful for any mother to endure, I relished the time because I knew it was an opportunity to be able to relate to her in a more intimate, mature way.  Now I want more than just a superficial relationship with my adult daughter.  While it's nice to see her and know what her needs are, I long for a deep connection in which she shares her heart of hearts.

God is similar to me as a parent in this way.  He craves a close connection to me where I invite Him in to hang out with me throughout the day.  The problem is, it's easy to get caught up in traditions of religion; following a set of rules taught by men instead of going after the kind of intimacy for which my Father yearns.  It seems I need a clearer picture of what a real relationship with Him looks like.

Discipline

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you."

These were the words my father uttered as I lay across his lap as he prepared to spank me.  While I don't remember the exact transgression that landed me in that position, I do remember wondering what he meant.  Clearly, the stinging in my back end was evidence that my dad's words were a little silly!

Any parent who cares about his or her child takes the time and effort to discipline them.  Even though it may be uncomfortable to bring about pain and suffering in my son or daughter's life, knowing that it will help to correct their disobedience is motivation enough to enact the penalty.  

In the same way, God shows His love for me by placing circumstances, difficulties and trials of all kinds to draw me closer to myself.  (Hebrews 12:5-6)  Many times, I am the biggest obstacle in my relationship with my Father.  Therefore, it is necessary for Him to use these difficult times to purify me so I can better relate to, connect with and depend on Him. (Malachi 3:3)

Therefore, while I'm in the middle of a job loss, wondering from where my next meal will come, I can realize my Father is purging every bit of my independent, self-sufficient tendencies from within me.  Or, when I experience the pain of physical suffering, I can remember that my Father is cleansing away the filth of prideful arrogance.  Or, during the times when I suffer the loss of a loved one, I can keep in mind that my Father is ridding me of a temporal focus and replacing it with a heavenly one.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father includes a healthy dose of discipline.

Companionship

My dog loves to be in my presence.  In fact, he follows me around the house while I am doing my chores, coming along behind me as I go from room to room.  He is of no help to me at all; never lending a paw when I need it because his intent is not to assist me in any way.  Instead, he is only concerned with keeping me company.

Isn't this the attitude God desires from me?  In the place of looking for ways to serve Him, He yearns for constant inclusion in my life.  (Proverbs 3:6)  It pleases Him when I take after my pup and want to be in His presence during every moment of the day.  

In addition, its not a perfectly formed child with whom He wants to hang out, but rather one who is open and honest with her flaws and struggles.  After all, He already knows everything there is to learn about me! (Psalm 139:1-12) I can't really hide anything from Him and I'm fooling myself when I try.  Instead, He wants me to share what is really going on in my heart because that is what develops closeness.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father develops when I strive to stay near to Him while fighting against insincerity.

Attentiveness

"So what I hear you saying is that you are tired of picking up my dirty socks and would like me to place them in the hamper?"  Active listening is an important part of any relationship but especially in marriage because confidence in one another is built when each feels the other understands.  What is the point of taking the time to communicate a grievance if the hearer doesn't even comprehend the message?

Being a good listener is important when building relationships.  As in any human bond, my connection to my Father grows stronger when I pay attention to what He says.  Sometimes His words come as the gentle whisper of His Spirit to mine.  Other times, He conveys His message through the pages of the Bible.  Then there are the times when He speaks through another human being.  

Whatever the mode of delivery, practicing good listening skills will improve my bond to the Lord.  This means I won't simply take in the message, but I'll also respond to what He's telling me.  (James 1:22)  Whether He reminds me of the destructiveness of my tongue, or the importance of tithing, or how vital love is in His kingdom, I will only grow closer to Him if I make the effort to obey.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father develops when I listen closely and respond immediately to His message.

God craves intimacy with His children.  As His precious daughter, I will grow in my relationship with my Father when I accept His discipline, desire His constant companionship, and keep an attentive attitude toward His instruction.  In these ways, I'll grow closer to my Father and the bond between us will strengthen. 

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can honor my Father's desire for intimacy.

When do I keep God at an arm's length instead of close to my heart?

How am I afraid to admit the truth to Him? 

A Choice to be Made

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you,

then choose for yourselves this day whom

you will serve whether the gods your forefathers

served beyond the River,

or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.

But as for me and my household,

we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

There are so many things vying for our attention in this technologically advanced 21^st Century.  There’s the smart phone we can’t leave home without, the Facebook account that can’t sit unchecked for more than 6 hours, the twitter account that seems so important to keep updated, the blogs that must be followed and the games that must be played.   There’s no doubt that we Americans love our technology.

I may not think I serve these things, but when they demand my attention, how much control do I actually have over the time I spend with them?  If I feel I can’t set it aside for one day, who’s serving whom?

I must fight to keep God in the number one place in my life, otherwise everything else will drown Him out.  But these “things” are not the only threat. 

Family Tradition

We do things out of tradition without a second thought.  I remember hearing the story about the young woman preparing a turkey for her very first Thanksgiving feast.  She defrosted the enormous bird in the sink, just like mom, and carefully covered it with the dish drainer turned upside down.  Her husband asked her why she did that, but she replied, “I don’t know.  That’s just how mom always did it.”  Turns out, her mom perfected this technique as a way to protect the poultry from her nosy cats.  Living in a pet-less home, this step was unnecessary for the daughter, but she did it anyway out of blind tradition. 

What traditions do I continue without a second thought as to whether or not this is glorifying to God?  Some families worship at the altar of the television, keeping it on at all times, never giving God a chance to speak in the quiet, still times of the morning.  Other families have always attended a certain church even though the pastor doesn’t really preach the Word and its more about being seen then being challenged and trained for service in a fallen world.  A number of families follow certain traditions at Christmas time that distract from bringing honor to the Christ Child, but are fun and build lasting memories.

What do I do out of sheer habit, blindly doing what my parents and their parents before them have done for years? 

Choosing to serve the Lord means letting go of practices done out of family custom, and intentionally choosing only those things which glorify Him and put Him in the highest place in my household.

The World

I live in a world that is focused completely on my comfort, entertainment and well-being.  It is easy for me to get sucked into his kind of thinking, focusing on myself as the number one priority.

As a believer, however, Jesus has called me to, “Love the Lord (my) God with all (my) heart and with all (my) soul and with all (my) mind.” (Matthew 22:37) This is kind of hard to do when I’m more concerned with my rights, my comfort and my happiness than I am with loving God.  In this passage, Jesus continued with, “’Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (v 39-40) I can’t go wrong if I keep loving God and others at the center of my attention.

It takes no effort at all to slip into the culture of this world.  The music, movies, television and other forms of entertainment are so readily available and are all around me, ready to amuse me, educate me, and to quench my fleshly thirst.  But as a follower of Christ, I have a choice to make.  James warned us to, “keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)

I don’t need to serve the gods of the culture I live in. 

Instead, I can choose to live in a way that sets me apart from the world while protecting the hearts and minds of myself and my family from taking on the beliefs of this world.  In this way, I am showing God honor in my home.  I am telling Him in a tangible way that His ways are more important to me than my comfort, my happiness, or my fitting in.

Jesus reminded me that, “. . . you don’t belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” (John 15:19) 

Choosing to serve the Lord means only letting things in my home that honor Him, and not getting drawn into the culture around me. 

Choose the Lord

My computer has default settings that are automatically set.  If I don’t intentionally change them, these preset conditions are programmed to exist.  It is the same with me.  My default settings are my fleshly desires, my natural way of doing things, my selfish point of view.

If I want to follow God, I must intentionally change these settings, choosing instead to do things God’s way.  Paul taught in Galatians 5:16 to “. . .live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”  It takes effort to buck my nature, but if I truly desire to do so, I am able to “. . .keep in step with the Spirit.” (v25) I am not powerless against my nature, for I have been given, “a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

It is possible for me to choose the Lord, but I must choose.  Giving Him the first and most honored position in my life is not going to come naturally.

Choosing to serve the Lord means making an effort to give Him the highest place in my thoughts, in my heart and in my home.

There are many things competing for my attention in this world.  If I want to give the Lord my utmost for His highest, I must let go of ungodly traditions, turn my head away from the culture around me and give Him the highest place in my life.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can put more value in honoring God than in pleasing myself.

How do I put my own comfort and happiness above pleasing God?

Where do I look just like the world around me instead of being the salt of the earth?