Intimacy

"I correct and discipline everyone I love.

So be diligent and turn from your indifference.

Look!

I stand at the door and knock.

If you hear my voice

and open the door,

I will come in,

and we will share a meal together as friends."

Revelation 3:19-20 NLT

My relationship with my daughter has changed through the years.  At first it was completely one-sided as she demanded my attention and depended completely on me to provide for her needs.  As she's grown, she has been able to do more and more for herself until the girl became a woman and she didn't need me anymore.  While this stage can be painful for any mother to endure, I relished the time because I knew it was an opportunity to be able to relate to her in a more intimate, mature way.  Now I want more than just a superficial relationship with my adult daughter.  While it's nice to see her and know what her needs are, I long for a deep connection in which she shares her heart of hearts.

God is similar to me as a parent in this way.  He craves a close connection to me where I invite Him in to hang out with me throughout the day.  The problem is, it's easy to get caught up in traditions of religion; following a set of rules taught by men instead of going after the kind of intimacy for which my Father yearns.  It seems I need a clearer picture of what a real relationship with Him looks like.

Discipline

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you."

These were the words my father uttered as I lay across his lap as he prepared to spank me.  While I don't remember the exact transgression that landed me in that position, I do remember wondering what he meant.  Clearly, the stinging in my back end was evidence that my dad's words were a little silly!

Any parent who cares about his or her child takes the time and effort to discipline them.  Even though it may be uncomfortable to bring about pain and suffering in my son or daughter's life, knowing that it will help to correct their disobedience is motivation enough to enact the penalty.  

In the same way, God shows His love for me by placing circumstances, difficulties and trials of all kinds to draw me closer to myself.  (Hebrews 12:5-6)  Many times, I am the biggest obstacle in my relationship with my Father.  Therefore, it is necessary for Him to use these difficult times to purify me so I can better relate to, connect with and depend on Him. (Malachi 3:3)

Therefore, while I'm in the middle of a job loss, wondering from where my next meal will come, I can realize my Father is purging every bit of my independent, self-sufficient tendencies from within me.  Or, when I experience the pain of physical suffering, I can remember that my Father is cleansing away the filth of prideful arrogance.  Or, during the times when I suffer the loss of a loved one, I can keep in mind that my Father is ridding me of a temporal focus and replacing it with a heavenly one.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father includes a healthy dose of discipline.

Companionship

My dog loves to be in my presence.  In fact, he follows me around the house while I am doing my chores, coming along behind me as I go from room to room.  He is of no help to me at all; never lending a paw when I need it because his intent is not to assist me in any way.  Instead, he is only concerned with keeping me company.

Isn't this the attitude God desires from me?  In the place of looking for ways to serve Him, He yearns for constant inclusion in my life.  (Proverbs 3:6)  It pleases Him when I take after my pup and want to be in His presence during every moment of the day.  

In addition, its not a perfectly formed child with whom He wants to hang out, but rather one who is open and honest with her flaws and struggles.  After all, He already knows everything there is to learn about me! (Psalm 139:1-12) I can't really hide anything from Him and I'm fooling myself when I try.  Instead, He wants me to share what is really going on in my heart because that is what develops closeness.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father develops when I strive to stay near to Him while fighting against insincerity.

Attentiveness

"So what I hear you saying is that you are tired of picking up my dirty socks and would like me to place them in the hamper?"  Active listening is an important part of any relationship but especially in marriage because confidence in one another is built when each feels the other understands.  What is the point of taking the time to communicate a grievance if the hearer doesn't even comprehend the message?

Being a good listener is important when building relationships.  As in any human bond, my connection to my Father grows stronger when I pay attention to what He says.  Sometimes His words come as the gentle whisper of His Spirit to mine.  Other times, He conveys His message through the pages of the Bible.  Then there are the times when He speaks through another human being.  

Whatever the mode of delivery, practicing good listening skills will improve my bond to the Lord.  This means I won't simply take in the message, but I'll also respond to what He's telling me.  (James 1:22)  Whether He reminds me of the destructiveness of my tongue, or the importance of tithing, or how vital love is in His kingdom, I will only grow closer to Him if I make the effort to obey.

A close, intimate relationship with my Father develops when I listen closely and respond immediately to His message.

God craves intimacy with His children.  As His precious daughter, I will grow in my relationship with my Father when I accept His discipline, desire His constant companionship, and keep an attentive attitude toward His instruction.  In these ways, I'll grow closer to my Father and the bond between us will strengthen. 

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can honor my Father's desire for intimacy.

When do I keep God at an arm's length instead of close to my heart?

How am I afraid to admit the truth to Him?