Sober Judgment

"For by the grace given me

I say to every one of you:

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,

but rather think of yourself with sober judgment,

in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

Romans 12:3

When I was competing in the sport of bodybuilding, I looked in the mirror quite a bit.  It wasn't that I was vain, although that particular pursuit does lend itself to vanity and narcissism, but more that I was gauging my progress as I prepared for a contest.  Self-reflection, though, is not always accurate.  Either I found that I would determine my progress to be better than it really was, or I would think I looked worse than I really did.  Whichever way I judged myself, it was impossible for me to give an objective evaluation of my own physique.

Once contest day came, however, I would stand before a panel of judges who would form an opinion on the development of my muscles, the leanness of my form and the overall proportion of my physique.  In short, the judges would make a decision based on reality, not on what I think I am.

It's not so different with my spiritual physique.  It's hard for me to objectively assess myself because there are many things that blur my vision.

Fear

It was his first mission as king, and he blew it.  Instead of doing as the Lord commanded and completely destroying the Amalekites and all their belongings, he captured their leader and spared all he deemed as good.  When confronted by Samuel as to his disobedience, Saul claimed innocence and the Lord was grieved that He had made Saul king of Israel.  (1 Samuel 15)

Saul mistakenly thought that being a leader meant that he got to call the shots according to what he thought best.  When caught in a transgression, he lied to cover his own reputation.  Instead of courageously facing the truth, he cowardly stuck to his story.

It's easy for me to fall into this same trap.  I am afraid to look at my sin for what it is: an affront to a holy God.  Other times I'd rather pretend my issues don't exist and simply go on living as if I'm in the right.  Still harder is it for me to admit to a sin: What will people think of me?

Fear can hold me back from honestly scrutinizing my thoughts, speech and behavior patterns and seeing it the way God does.  I can let go of the dread I feel when I think of all the ways I fall short of God's standard because He has forgiven me through the blood of the perfect Lamb.(1 John 4:18)  

Due to this unspeakable sacrifice, I can boldly hold my darkest sin in the light, looking at it from all sides before turning away from it in victory.  I needn't take myself so seriously that I think that sin will be the end of me for Jesus has made sure that won't happen. (1 Corinthians 15:57)  

Instead, I can lighten up and realize that I am no different than any other human who ever lived: I am plagued with sin.  Thankfully, I am also washed clean by the blood of my Savior, giving me the freedom to live as one who is not condemned. (Romans 8:1)

Fear holds me back from sober judgment but the redemption that comes through Jesus Christ gives me courage to see myself as I truly am.

Pride

He thought of himself as a god, puffing his chest as he strolled along the roof of his majestic palace.  "Look at this city of Babylon that I have built with my own might and power.  This, the most beautiful city in the world, is a testament to my grand magnificence."

No sooner had the words left his lips than God began humbling King Nebuchadnezzar.  (Daniel 4)  The man became as an animal, sleeping out under the stars, grazing like a cow and forsaking all grooming.  After seven years, his sanity came back to him and he humbly acknowledged God as sovereign over all things.

Nebuchadnezzar is not the only one who needs humbling.  There are many times when I don't like to reveal my sin, thinking it is demeaning to my position to admit I'm wrong or that I will lose respect from those around me.

When I put my own reputation or status first, I am failing to give God this honored position in my life.  With this distorted sens of priorities, if He desires to place me where I receive no thanks or appreciation for my work, I probably will ignore His call.  When I'm more focused on me than God, I'll miss out on the opportunities to see Him work through me because I'm worried about how it will look to others.  

Humbly admitting to my sin is the most powerful relational tool I can use.  When I am honest, others will respect my openness and feel more comfortable to confess their own struggles, starting an avalanche of forgiveness.

Pride holds me back from sober judgment but humility comes as I place God's kingdom before my own.

Doubt

They did it again.  The people who were called by God to be His own people had turned against Him, doing their own thing.  When God sent the oppressive power of the Midianites to discipline them, they cried out to God in their distress.  Out of His love for them, He sent a prophet to remind them of their calling to stay faithful to God.  Then, He called on a mighty warrior; a hero to deliver them.  (Judges 6)

The thing is, this savior didn't seem so brave and courageous at first.  He doubted the message from God, asking how it was that the Lord had been with them if his people were in such dire straits?  God reassured him that He Himself was sending Gideon out against the enemy of his people.  He hesitated again, "but I'm from the weakest clan and as feeble as we are, I am the smallest one out of everyone in my family!  I'm no mighty warrior!"

It was clear who Gideon believed God to be at this point: small and incapable of saving his people.  Even though things turned out pretty well for Gideon and his 300 soldiers as they defeated a force of multitudes too many to count, he didn't start out with the kind of faith that believes God can do more with the weakest man committed to Him than the strongest man can do without God.  (1 Corinthians 1:25)

How many times do I doubt God's power when I'm faced with overwhelming obstacles, like when the bills are adding up to more than my income?  God can deliver me if I trust Him with my finances.  Sometimes my physical pain is more than I can handle.  God can give me strength to endure if I trust Him with my health.  Other times I'm afraid my family will forget about me and leave me all alone.  God is the comforter and father to the fatherless as well as a husband to the widow.  He can be my all in all if I trust Him with that mission.  

Doubt holds me back from sober judgment but faith will come if I give God a chance to work in my life.

I don't always see myself as I really am.  If I can let go of the fear I sometimes have of seeing my sin, the pride that places my own wants and needs above God and the doubt that betrays my lack of faith in the power of God to transform, then my eyes will be opened.  As I take on the perspective that God gives to me, I will be able to judge myself with a clear conscience.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can let go of the fear that so often holds me back.

When am I afraid to intentionally look at my sin?  How does this work to build a stronghold of sin in my life?

How do I betray my lack of faith in God when I doubt His ability to bring about change?