In the Vacuum

"When I was in deep trouble,

I searched for the Lord.

All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,

but my soul was not comforted.

I think of God, and I moan,

overwhelmed with longing for his help."

Psalm 77:2-3 NLT

Sleep was impossible for her.  Instead, she paced the floor, peering out the window between the curtains, searching the sky for some sign of Him.  Her heart was leaden, weighed down with every mother's worst nightmare that had become her reality.  The daughter she had worked so hard to protect, guide and nurture was suddenly gone, cruelly snatched from her home by an unknown evil.  

This mother needed her daughter back.  She yearned to once again hear her sweet laughter, be interrupted by her silly antics, to watch her peacefully sleep.  Instead, her home once warmed by the girl's presence was now empty as a tomb.  She wondered why God offered no solace for her aching soul.

God had not left my friend in her greatest hour of need, just as He had faithfully been with His people of old, as He had promised.  Sometimes, though, His silence is deafening and His inaction speaks volumes to my wounded heart.  This is when it's important that I follow Asaph's lead, turning my attention away from what distresses me and toward what will give me strength to carry on.

Remember.  He is mighty and strong.  He has done great things in the lives of His people, in the history of His nation, in the heart of this follower.  There were times when my head exploded as I tried to comprehend His ability to care so intimately about me along with the throngs of others He personally attended to.  How could He direct my footsteps so carefully while keeping His eye upon each wounded heart, wayward soul, and weakening spirit?  My heart rejoiced in such a Father as this.

So where was my praise now, as I sat in the quiet, failing to sense His presence nor see the work of His sovereign hand?  It was time to recall the acts that showcased His power and strength in the past, reminding me of what He is capable of doing, giving me a refresher of His might to jog my memory that He is a good God for which nothing is impossible.

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to remember His mighty acts of old.

Meditate.  I often use my brain power to analyze situations, searching for the perfect solution, rehashing prior situations to look for flaws and discover how I failed.  My mind is constantly at work, always thinking, never quiet.  Why not use such a powerhouse to meditate on God's mighty works?

When I think of meditation I often picture a woman whose legs are tied up in an impossible position that reminds me of a pretzel.  Her eyes are closed and her upturned hands rest quietly on her knees.  She sits without moving for an unbearable amount of time, clearing her mind of all thought while eerie music floats on the air and the smoke of incense filters through the room.

This may be one form of meditation, but there is another which would benefit me in times of trouble when God seems so far away.  Instead of clearing my mind, I can use it's power to ponder God's mighty works, thinking deeply about His constant character and how His faithfulness effects my life.  Instead of focusing on what is wrong in my life or in the world around me, I can center my attention on all the good found in the nature of God.  

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to meditate on how God's faithful and powerful nature has shown up in my life and in the lives of His people.

Praise Him.  There are things I know about God.  I read His Word which clearly speaks of His greatness, power and holiness, telling stories of His goodness, love and faithfulness and giving examples of His redemptive, supernatural and intimate nature.  I often mistakenly believe I must feel His Spirit moving in me in order to give Him praise.  In reality, it's when I don't sense His presence that my worship is most meaningful.

William Law, 18th Century priest, evangelical thinker and theological writer, left something behind for modern-day believers to ponder.  "One who makes it a rule to be content in every part and accident of life because it comes from God praises God in a much higher manner than one who has some set time for the singing of psalms."  This sounds like Romans 12:1 put in practice, does it not?  May it be my constant custom, then, to liberally give honor and glory to God for who He is, what He has done, is doing, and will do, and because He is always worthy of praise, no matter what is going on in my life.  When I humbly accept my lot in life, this submission to God's sovereignty speaks volumes to His heart.

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to accept my current situation while giving praise to Him for His many attributes.

Sometime God seems distant and silent, as if He no longer exists.  I wonder why He won't answer; is it something I've done or not done?  How have I failed?  It's easy to take it personally.  Instead, why not remember His acts of might and power, meditate on His nature, and be content with my circumstances while praising Him for who He is.  In these ways, I'll find peace in the vacuum.  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can keep my mind trained on God's faithfulness instead of depending upon my sense of His presence to sustain me.

When do I despair because I can't feel God with me?

How does my faith falter if I no longer sense His constant presence?