In the Vacuum

"When I was in deep trouble,

I searched for the Lord.

All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,

but my soul was not comforted.

I think of God, and I moan,

overwhelmed with longing for his help."

Psalm 77:2-3 NLT

Sleep was impossible for her.  Instead, she paced the floor, peering out the window between the curtains, searching the sky for some sign of Him.  Her heart was leaden, weighed down with every mother's worst nightmare that had become her reality.  The daughter she had worked so hard to protect, guide and nurture was suddenly gone, cruelly snatched from her home by an unknown evil.  

This mother needed her daughter back.  She yearned to once again hear her sweet laughter, be interrupted by her silly antics, to watch her peacefully sleep.  Instead, her home once warmed by the girl's presence was now empty as a tomb.  She wondered why God offered no solace for her aching soul.

God had not left my friend in her greatest hour of need, just as He had faithfully been with His people of old, as He had promised.  Sometimes, though, His silence is deafening and His inaction speaks volumes to my wounded heart.  This is when it's important that I follow Asaph's lead, turning my attention away from what distresses me and toward what will give me strength to carry on.

Remember.  He is mighty and strong.  He has done great things in the lives of His people, in the history of His nation, in the heart of this follower.  There were times when my head exploded as I tried to comprehend His ability to care so intimately about me along with the throngs of others He personally attended to.  How could He direct my footsteps so carefully while keeping His eye upon each wounded heart, wayward soul, and weakening spirit?  My heart rejoiced in such a Father as this.

So where was my praise now, as I sat in the quiet, failing to sense His presence nor see the work of His sovereign hand?  It was time to recall the acts that showcased His power and strength in the past, reminding me of what He is capable of doing, giving me a refresher of His might to jog my memory that He is a good God for which nothing is impossible.

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to remember His mighty acts of old.

Meditate.  I often use my brain power to analyze situations, searching for the perfect solution, rehashing prior situations to look for flaws and discover how I failed.  My mind is constantly at work, always thinking, never quiet.  Why not use such a powerhouse to meditate on God's mighty works?

When I think of meditation I often picture a woman whose legs are tied up in an impossible position that reminds me of a pretzel.  Her eyes are closed and her upturned hands rest quietly on her knees.  She sits without moving for an unbearable amount of time, clearing her mind of all thought while eerie music floats on the air and the smoke of incense filters through the room.

This may be one form of meditation, but there is another which would benefit me in times of trouble when God seems so far away.  Instead of clearing my mind, I can use it's power to ponder God's mighty works, thinking deeply about His constant character and how His faithfulness effects my life.  Instead of focusing on what is wrong in my life or in the world around me, I can center my attention on all the good found in the nature of God.  

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to meditate on how God's faithful and powerful nature has shown up in my life and in the lives of His people.

Praise Him.  There are things I know about God.  I read His Word which clearly speaks of His greatness, power and holiness, telling stories of His goodness, love and faithfulness and giving examples of His redemptive, supernatural and intimate nature.  I often mistakenly believe I must feel His Spirit moving in me in order to give Him praise.  In reality, it's when I don't sense His presence that my worship is most meaningful.

William Law, 18th Century priest, evangelical thinker and theological writer, left something behind for modern-day believers to ponder.  "One who makes it a rule to be content in every part and accident of life because it comes from God praises God in a much higher manner than one who has some set time for the singing of psalms."  This sounds like Romans 12:1 put in practice, does it not?  May it be my constant custom, then, to liberally give honor and glory to God for who He is, what He has done, is doing, and will do, and because He is always worthy of praise, no matter what is going on in my life.  When I humbly accept my lot in life, this submission to God's sovereignty speaks volumes to His heart.

I don't need to feel God's presence in order to accept my current situation while giving praise to Him for His many attributes.

Sometime God seems distant and silent, as if He no longer exists.  I wonder why He won't answer; is it something I've done or not done?  How have I failed?  It's easy to take it personally.  Instead, why not remember His acts of might and power, meditate on His nature, and be content with my circumstances while praising Him for who He is.  In these ways, I'll find peace in the vacuum.  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can keep my mind trained on God's faithfulness instead of depending upon my sense of His presence to sustain me.

When do I despair because I can't feel God with me?

How does my faith falter if I no longer sense His constant presence?

Jumping to Conclusions

"'Yes,' the man told him.

'They have moved on from here,

but I heard them say,

'Let's go on to Dothan.'

So Joseph followed his brothers to Dothan

and found them there.

When Joseph's brothers saw him coming,

they recognized him in the distance.

As he approached,

they made plans to kill him.

'Here comes the dreamer!' they said.

'Come on,

let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns.

We can tell our father,

A wild animal has eaten him.

Then we'll see what becomes of his dreams!'"

Genesis 37:17b-20 NLT

The brothers were consumed with jealous bitterness.  While it was true that their younger brother was a spoiled brat who could do no wrong in the eyes of their father, there was more to their hatred than simple resentment.  Because of this boy, none of them could have a close relationship with their father.  Each of them felt like a failure around this greatly admired man.  A son wants nothing more than the acceptance and love of their dad, but with Joseph around, their father seemed to only have eyes for the favored one.  They could never live up to the patriarch's high expectations, and that gaudy robe was only a painful reminder of this difficult truth.

Anger and hatred can stem from many sources.  Whatever the root, however, the result is the same: the hurt that turns to bitterness influences the way I think which, in turn, impacts my actions.  This may be one of the most powerful reasons why God commands His people to freely offer the gift of forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:32)

When I hold onto the pain wrought at the hand of another, I may assume they are my enemy.  When I see this person enter my life, I jump to the conclusion that they are here to inflict harm, thus withholding the love of God that is to freely flow through His people.  Instead, there may be another reason for the visit, but I'll never find out unless I give them a chance through the grace that God so liberally gives.

Eyes of God

As a people, we are rich.  I don't mean with money and stuff, although that is true for the most part.  What I am getting at is that we are abundantly blessed with a great inheritance from a gracious and extravagantly generous God.  He not only offers us a second (and third, and fourth, etc) chance when we fall for the lure of our sinful nature, but He lavishes us with His abundant love, He showers us with one blessing after another, and He cares about all the little things that trouble my heart.  We are rich indeed.

Most of the time, however, I go through life without realizing how rich is this legacy of faith that I've come into through Christ. (Ephesians 1:18)  Instead I see only the damage done by destructive hands, the injustice caused by greed and selfishness, or the difficulties that naturally occur as I live in a fallen world.  

If I am to be able to respond to the people God has placed around me in a loving way, it is vital that I use God's eyes through which to view the world.  When I look through my own sin-clouded lenses, I am unable to see the goodness of God.  If, however, I take on His perspective by offering myself as a living sacrifice and refusing to buy into the ways of this world, I will better be able to see things as He does.  (Romans 12:1-2)  Only then will I be able to see people as God has created them to be, loving them right where they are as I pass on the wealth of blessings God has given me.

If I want to love people as God calls me to, I will need to have the eyes of God.

Led by the Spirit

Playing "Follow the Leader" with a group of elementary-aged children is interesting.  While I would never normally walk like a duck or climb over a pile of sand, I just may do so when being led by a young child.

Likewise, letting my flesh lead me through life will mean that I will engage in all kinds of activities and behaviors that do not please God.  I may find myself lured into thoughts of lust, tempted to explore sexual pleasures readily available through any electronic device, convinced I am justified in my hostility toward a co-worker, deceived into thinking I'm striving so hard to reach the top for the good of others, or tell myself I'll only indulge in one drink.  (Galatians 5:19-21)

When I let God's Spirit lead me, however, I will find a different kind of fruit being produced.  Instead of my sinful nature winning out, then, I will notice a compassion for those who are hurting well up inside of me, a sense of well-being that is not dependent upon my circumstances flood my soul, a calm tranquility that cannot be explained build up in my heart and a desire to do good guide my actions. (Galatians 5:22-23)  Only then can I have any hope of treating people in a way that would honor God.

If I want to love people as God calls me to, I will need to be led by His Spirit.

Kingdom-Minded

My mind whirls like a high-powered computer as I lay sleepless beside my slumbering husband.  If I can save about $50 on groceries, I might have enough to pay the phone bill.  Then, there will only be a couple more expenses to cover this month.  Or, I might be able to scrimp on gas by staying home all week, skipping all my ministry activities so we could cover the water bill.  That's a great idea.  Maybe there's more I haven't thought of.  Ugh, why can't I go back to sleep?

A mind focused on meeting physical needs is a mind that worries at three o'clock in the morning.  Jesus taught us that only unbelievers should think this way because they don't have a benevolent Father to take care of them.  As children of God, though, those who follow Christ do enjoy this benefit.  Since my heavenly Father knows what I need and is perfectly willing and capable of supplying those requirements, I am free to focus my mind of His kingdom instead. (Matthew 6:31-33)  

In this way I will be able to concentrate on the ways God is working all around me and join in with what He is doing.  A mind focused on worldly worries, however, will never detect these activities and will only tend to what will not last.  My focus, then, determines the nature of my actions.

If I want to love people as God calls me to, I will need to be kingdom-minded.

It is easy to only treat people the way they treat me, or to let my feelings influence my actions.  If I am to truly let the love of God flow through me, though, I will need to take on His way of seeing those around me, let His Spirit lead me, and focus my mind of kingdom pursuits.  In these ways, I will not jump to conclusions, but will stand firm on the solid rock of my faith in Christ.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can let go of all the hurts that can lead to hatred and bitterness. 

How do I focus on my needs, acting like I don't have a Father in heaven who takes care of me?

When do I follow only my flesh, letting my feelings be my guide?