Coping in the Pit of Depression

"You have put me in the lowest pit,

in the darkest depths.

Your wrath lies heavily on me;

you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.

You ave taken from me my closest friends

and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape;

my eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, LORD, every day;

I spread out my hands to you."

Psalm 88:9-12 NLT

How did David gain the reputation for being a man after God's own heart?  Was it because he lived a perfect, upright life?  Or due to the fact that he never wavered in his faith, never doubted God's presence?  Or for the reason that David stayed true to God, never falling into despair despite the hard times he faced?

The answer is: None of the above!  David was considered by God as someone who pursued His own nature and core spirit because David didn't fake it with God.  Even when He fell into the pit of depression, he coped by sharing his true feelings with the God he knew would love him no matter what.  He didn't worry that he'd lose God's favor or kindness by telling the truth of how he felt to a God who would never leave him nor forsake him.

I can follow David's lead and cope with depression in the same way he did.  Since God often holds David up as a model of how to live in relationship with Him through the ups and downs of life, I would be wise to do as this shepherd-boy-who-became-king did.

Honest.  I've always heard that honesty is the best policy, but if I try to live by that maxim it doesn't always work out so well for me.  If I tell people how I really feel, I risk hurting their feelings or damaging our relationship or influencing the way they think of me.  So, I've learned to keep the ugly feelings, the dark thoughts, the inappropriate questions to myself.

This is not how God wants me to approach Him.  Even though people respond negatively to my openness for a variety of reasons, God is not at all threatened by my efforts to tell Him like I see or, or share my honest feelings with Him.  He will not be hurt and lash out in retaliation.  He doesn't back away in repulsion.  He doesn't think less of me.  David understood this heart of God and His desire for open, authentic communication with Him so he didn't sugar-coat his words.  I can do the same.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and share my honest feelings with the God whose love I cannot lose.

Face it.  I have learned from a long line of experts how to sweep things under the rug and leave it there, pretending like it doesn't exist.  Sometimes it's conflict that gets cleared away.  Other times I stuff down feelings that make me uncomfortable so I don't have to look at it's full ugliness.  Then there are times when I act like I have no problem with how a situation is handled by someone close even though I'm deeply hurt.  Yep, I'm good at living under false pretenses.

David didn't live this way.  Instead, he openly examined his thoughts and feelings no matter how inappropriate or uncomfortable.  Perhaps because he was so secure in His Father's love, he was able to bring out the deep, dark feelings that lay hidden in the recesses of his heart and look them over thoroughly in the light.  He even welcomed God's inspection, asking Him to "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT)

Since David knew how well He was known by God and, at the same time loved completely and enduringly, he felt safe in allowing God access to the most secret parts of him.  There was no fear in being found out but rather a deep desire for intimacy that drove David to stand emotionally naked before God.  It is vital that I truly comprehend God's durable love for me so that I can face my own dark places and allow God in there as well.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and face the feelings I tend to hide, allowing the God whose love I cannot lose access to my dark places.

Faithful.  My dog thinks the best of me.  He follows me around like a devoted friend, always keeping me company.  When I am agitated or upset, he doesn't run away but draws even closer in an attempt to comfort me.  If I walk ahead on the path, he cannot rest until he has caught up.  My dog is faithful to me, of this I can be sure.

In order to follow David's lead, I must cultivate this same spirit of faithfulness to God.  David never gave up crying out to God, casting all his cares upon the God he knew was there, even when he couldn't feel His presence.  David knew without a doubt that God would come through for him and always reminded himself of this truth, especially when he felt all alone, estranged from his Life-Source and like he had been kicked to the curb.  David didn't rest until he had shared his heart with God, and he never gave up on Him, knowing in his heart of hearts that God was his only hope.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and stay faithful to the God who will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, Matthew 28:20).

When depression hits, how do I cope as a follower of Jesus?  It's easy to feel guilty that I sunk down into the pit in the first place, but I can gain much hope by realizing David often experienced similar despair and feelings of hopelessness.  Since David was considered a man after God's own heart, I can look to his example of how to cope with depression.  I can be open and honest in communicating my feelings to God, facing the truth of what is hidden within, and staying faithful to God, not giving up on Him because of how I feel.  In these ways I can learn to deal with depressed feelings in a way that honors God and grows my relationship with Him.  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can realize how secure I am in God's love.

When do I fall prey to my feelings and think God won't accept me if I tell Him the truth?

How am I failing to understand the depth of His love for me and depriving Him of the opportunity to love me right where I am?