Coping in the Pit of Depression

"You have put me in the lowest pit,

in the darkest depths.

Your wrath lies heavily on me;

you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.

You ave taken from me my closest friends

and have made me repulsive to them.

I am confined and cannot escape;

my eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, LORD, every day;

I spread out my hands to you."

Psalm 88:9-12 NLT

How did David gain the reputation for being a man after God's own heart?  Was it because he lived a perfect, upright life?  Or due to the fact that he never wavered in his faith, never doubted God's presence?  Or for the reason that David stayed true to God, never falling into despair despite the hard times he faced?

The answer is: None of the above!  David was considered by God as someone who pursued His own nature and core spirit because David didn't fake it with God.  Even when He fell into the pit of depression, he coped by sharing his true feelings with the God he knew would love him no matter what.  He didn't worry that he'd lose God's favor or kindness by telling the truth of how he felt to a God who would never leave him nor forsake him.

I can follow David's lead and cope with depression in the same way he did.  Since God often holds David up as a model of how to live in relationship with Him through the ups and downs of life, I would be wise to do as this shepherd-boy-who-became-king did.

Honest.  I've always heard that honesty is the best policy, but if I try to live by that maxim it doesn't always work out so well for me.  If I tell people how I really feel, I risk hurting their feelings or damaging our relationship or influencing the way they think of me.  So, I've learned to keep the ugly feelings, the dark thoughts, the inappropriate questions to myself.

This is not how God wants me to approach Him.  Even though people respond negatively to my openness for a variety of reasons, God is not at all threatened by my efforts to tell Him like I see or, or share my honest feelings with Him.  He will not be hurt and lash out in retaliation.  He doesn't back away in repulsion.  He doesn't think less of me.  David understood this heart of God and His desire for open, authentic communication with Him so he didn't sugar-coat his words.  I can do the same.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and share my honest feelings with the God whose love I cannot lose.

Face it.  I have learned from a long line of experts how to sweep things under the rug and leave it there, pretending like it doesn't exist.  Sometimes it's conflict that gets cleared away.  Other times I stuff down feelings that make me uncomfortable so I don't have to look at it's full ugliness.  Then there are times when I act like I have no problem with how a situation is handled by someone close even though I'm deeply hurt.  Yep, I'm good at living under false pretenses.

David didn't live this way.  Instead, he openly examined his thoughts and feelings no matter how inappropriate or uncomfortable.  Perhaps because he was so secure in His Father's love, he was able to bring out the deep, dark feelings that lay hidden in the recesses of his heart and look them over thoroughly in the light.  He even welcomed God's inspection, asking Him to "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT)

Since David knew how well He was known by God and, at the same time loved completely and enduringly, he felt safe in allowing God access to the most secret parts of him.  There was no fear in being found out but rather a deep desire for intimacy that drove David to stand emotionally naked before God.  It is vital that I truly comprehend God's durable love for me so that I can face my own dark places and allow God in there as well.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and face the feelings I tend to hide, allowing the God whose love I cannot lose access to my dark places.

Faithful.  My dog thinks the best of me.  He follows me around like a devoted friend, always keeping me company.  When I am agitated or upset, he doesn't run away but draws even closer in an attempt to comfort me.  If I walk ahead on the path, he cannot rest until he has caught up.  My dog is faithful to me, of this I can be sure.

In order to follow David's lead, I must cultivate this same spirit of faithfulness to God.  David never gave up crying out to God, casting all his cares upon the God he knew was there, even when he couldn't feel His presence.  David knew without a doubt that God would come through for him and always reminded himself of this truth, especially when he felt all alone, estranged from his Life-Source and like he had been kicked to the curb.  David didn't rest until he had shared his heart with God, and he never gave up on Him, knowing in his heart of hearts that God was his only hope.

When I'm feeling down, like there is no hope, I can follow David's lead and stay faithful to the God who will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, Matthew 28:20).

When depression hits, how do I cope as a follower of Jesus?  It's easy to feel guilty that I sunk down into the pit in the first place, but I can gain much hope by realizing David often experienced similar despair and feelings of hopelessness.  Since David was considered a man after God's own heart, I can look to his example of how to cope with depression.  I can be open and honest in communicating my feelings to God, facing the truth of what is hidden within, and staying faithful to God, not giving up on Him because of how I feel.  In these ways I can learn to deal with depressed feelings in a way that honors God and grows my relationship with Him.  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can realize how secure I am in God's love.

When do I fall prey to my feelings and think God won't accept me if I tell Him the truth?

How am I failing to understand the depth of His love for me and depriving Him of the opportunity to love me right where I am?

   

Faith is Forward Focus

"Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens.

You have done such wonderful things.

Who can compare with you, O God?

You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,

but you will restore me to life again

and lift me up from the depths of the earth."

Psalm 71:19-20 NLT

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."  Corrie Ten Boom should know about fear.  She and her family hid fugitives from the Gestapo in the Nazi's effort to exterminate the Jews along with any sympathizers during World War Two.  This Dutch resistance that the ten Boom family joined is believed to have saved the lives of 800 Jews.

But this success came at a price.  Her entire family was arrested and her father and sister lost their lives in the brutal conditions found in captivity.  Corrie then spent the rest of her life spreading the hope-filled message of the Gospel to countless many around the world, especially demonstrating God's love by forgiving the very guard who had been responsible for her dear sister's death.

In the midst of such a difficult life, it would be easy to give up, giving in to the cruelty and becoming hard and callous as a way to survive.  But Corrie knew her God intimately, and she relied on this relationship that had been honed over years of growing up under the loving instruction of her father who loved the Lord.  With such a strong foundation, Corrie was able to weather the storm.  

Faith got her through because it focuses on what is known about the future, directing her attention to what can be expected:  Wherever she was headed, she knew her faithful God was already there.  I can take on this same mindset of forward-focused faith.

Incomparable.  There is no one like my God.  He is beyond compare.  I look for something with which I can liken Him to, but nothing in all of creation is as great as its Creator.  Since He is so great and awesome, higher in so many ways than what He has made, I can expect the unexpected from Him.  I can't guess the way He will answer a prayer, solve a problem, or provide for a need.  He has resources of which I know nothing.

There is none like Him, and this unique God with unsurpassed powers will operate in a way that is peculiar to me.  All I must do is watch for what He will do, keeping an eye out for His work in my situation as I wait for Him to do what He does best.  In short, I must let God be His unparalleled self.

Faith watches with bated breath for what is expected from such a God as this.

Troubles.  In the midst of the struggle, it seems there is no end, like the suffering will last forever.  When pain hits, time seems to stand still and everything else fades to the background, overpowered by such agony.  In the face of loss, the misery hangs on like a unwanted leech, seeming to color every part of my life.  Will this ever end?

Faith knows that the hard stuff is temporary and directs my attention to the hope that is in Christ.  In the same way that He rose from the grave, I will be revived from the darkness that is as profound as the tomb where Jesus lay for three days.  God will revive me, restoring life and giving a sense of newness to my heart.

Faith believes the troubles are temporary, that restoration is coming.

Depths.  It seems to be my lot in life, this cycle of despair and depression.  When the pit yawns open beneath me, it's easy to feel like this is my destiny, this darkness that tends to envelope my heart.  Faith, however, paints me a different picture that draws my attention away from what threatens.  

No matter how low I sink, God is there (Psalm 139:8).  There are no boundaries to His love for me (Romans 8:38-39). It doesn't matter how bad I feel, His presence is always there to comfort and minister to my hurting heart.  Even when I can't sense Him, He is there.  Despite my best efforts to lose Him, He is there.  Although it seems I can't help but to fall deep into a slump, He is there.  And because of His powerful presence in my life, I can expect that He will bring me up out of whatever depths I have sunk.

Faith knows that God will rescue me from the pit; it is not my destiny.

God does allow me to go through hard stuff, sometimes even leading me into difficulty.  Even so, the faith I have in Him reminds me that He operates in peculiar ways that is for my good and His glory, that troubles are necessary but also temporary, and that any depth to which I sink is not deeper than His love for me (Ephesians 3:18).  This is what gives me hope.  This is why my faith gives me a forward focus; because God is already there before me.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can keep in mind all that God is capable of doing.

When do I despair, thinking I'm stuck in my current situation with no way out?

How could remembering the hope I have in Christ give me the strength to believe God has something good for me in the midst of this mess?

Constant Reminder

"For you are God, my only safe haven.

Why have you tossed me aside?

Why must I wander around in grief,

oppressed by my enemies?

Send out your light and your truth;

let them guide me.

Let them lead me to your holy mountain,

to the place where you live."

Psalm 43:2-3 NLT

Her heart ached with grief over the broken pieces of her life.  Everything that she had worked for during the past decade was lying in shambles at her feet.  She felt battered and bruised from the fight, anything but loved and cherished by a doting Father.

Still, no matter how my friend feels, she is highly regarded by her God.  She is showered with blessings in the heavenly realms, even in the midst of the storm.  She is protected and prized despite the fact that she feels vulnerable and neglected.

It's easy to fall into despair, especially when circumstances are out of my control and life is not going according to my plan.  Therefore, I must constantly remind myself of the truth, just like the psalmist did.

God.  Drugs.  Work.  Ministry.  Service.  Exercise.  Hobbies.  Alcohol.  Social media.  There are countless places I can hide during the storm, when life is spinning out of control and I need to feel safe and secure.  Where do I choose to go to find a sense of purpose and meaning when I feel low?

Instead of picking the myriad of hopeless alternatives, no matter how good they seem on the outside, I can let God be my safe haven.  Only He can give me peace in the midst of the struggle.  Only He can bring value and significance when I feel low.  Only He can rescue me from the dull, emptiness of day after day of drudgery.

While there are many good things I can do to make myself feel better about my life, my only hope for knowing my true value is through faith in Jesus Christ.  In Him I have purpose, meaning and a mission (Ephesians 2:10).   Even though there are lots of ways I can drown my sorrows, only Christ can deliver comfort, release, freedom, beauty, joy and praise (Isaiah 61:1-3).  Although I can find many places to hide in times of trouble, only trusting in God can deliver peace that doesn't make sense considering my circumstances (Philippians 4:6-7).

When times are difficult, I must constantly remind myself that God is where I find meaning, purpose and a sense of calm.

Refuge.  The wind howled through the trees, sending branches falling and turning pine cones into missiles.  Even though our retreat was in a safe harbor, it wasn't immune to the strong gales.  The water swirled and whipped up, rocking the boats secured in their slips, eventually loosing a ship free from it's moorings. The bay did not completely protect us from the raging storm.

Life throws many difficulties my way and despite my best efforts at protecting myself, I am not immune from hard times.  Therefore, it is vital that I let God be my refuge in times of trouble.  While there are other options I can choose, nothing is as secure and delivers me from fear as God can (Psalm 46:1-3).

When times are difficult, I must constantly go to God as my safe place where I will find true security.

Light.  If I want advice, there is plenty out there to be had.  I can ask anyone and they'll give me their take on things, offering recommendations, suggestions and guidance; enough to make my head swirl.  Which counsel should I take?  What should I do?

If I want to know the perfect solution to my specific problem I must ask God who generously gives His wisdom to those who believe He is the only source of understanding (James 1:5-8). If, however, I think He is only one option and it's up to me to pick the best idea, I'll never be sure of what I should do.

I can be confident that God will guide me through the hard times I'm facing.  He is faithful and true, able to show me the way He has marked out for me (Hebrews 12:1-2).  My role is to follow Him as my Shepherd, letting Him choose the path and set the pace.  Consequently, I must expect that He'll lead me in directions that seem odd or even foolish, and He'll often either go faster or slower than is to my liking. 

When times are difficult, I must constantly remember that God is the source of truth and insight that I need in the midst of the confusion.

In the span of a lifetime, I'll endure many hard times, of this I can be sure.  While such difficulty may cause me to despair, making me feel like I'm more of a reject instead of the cherished child that I am.  Instead of falling prey to such feelings, I can make it a practice to remind myself that God is the One I can always trust to give me meaning, that His refuge is truly safe, and that He is the source of understanding in a world that is often topsy-turvy.  In such storms, I must learn to preach these constant reminders to myself as protection against despair.  Then I will not fall victim to my misleading feelings that often lead me astray but will know in my heart I am cherished as a well-loved child by a doting Father.  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God in the midst of the trouble.

When do I believe the fear that grips my heart?

How can I give myself a little reminder of the truth that will set me free?  

Treasure of the Relationship

"Are you the first man ever born?

Were you brought forth before the hills?

Do you listen in on God's council?

Do you have a monopoly on wisdom?

What do you know that we do not know?

What insights do you have that we do not have?"

Job 15:7-9

If this is what you would call encouragement, I want nothing of it!  Eliphaz, friend of Job, accused the suffering man of being arrogant and casual with God.  In Job's time of greatest need, as he lamented his life as a natural part of the grief process, this friend crushed him like a grasshopper beneath his foot.  With friends like that, who needs enemies?

The truth was, Job was intimately acquainted with God, so much so that he felt comfortable pouring his heart out to Him, hurt as it was.  This is exactly what was needed for God to bring healing to his wounded soul.  Unfortunately, those who gathered around to console Job didn't seem to get that.

I can't let others talk me out of who I know God to be, shaming me into turning my relationship with Him into a kind of religion with rules made and expectations held by man.  What did Job grasp about God that his friends did not?

Heart.  God is bigger than my feelings.  Somehow, it's easy for me as a human to think it's improper to share negative or upsetting feelings with God.  I think I need to tell Him what I think He wants to hear, keeping it clean and neat, all tied up in a neat little package.

The problem is, life is messy and my heart is often aching with pain.  Other times, the coldness of the world around me rubs off, turning my heart of flesh back into one of stone.  Every so often I might even feel downright angry at the circumstances in which I find myself.  Does God really want to hear what's going on in my heart?

Yes, He does!  David was considered by God as a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22).  One of the things that David did to capture the heart of God was to be honest before Him.  He did not put up false fronts,but shared what was truly in His heart, ugly as it might be.  As he ran from his enemies, for instance, David felt abandoned by God, "tossed aside" and oppressed (Psalm 43:2).  Instead of cleaning it up and withholding his true feelings from God, he was brutally honest.  Then God worked to turn His heart back to the truth until he was able to ask himself, "Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God!  I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!" (v 5) 

God is big enough to handle my messy feelings, and being honest as I share my heart with Him will draw me closer to Him.

Secure.  She had suffered much loss in her life.  Her husband was killed fairly early in their marriage while he trained pilots for World War II.  She also lost her firstborn son to a condition that left him non-responsive and eventually took his life.  As a result, my grandmother lived in fear of losing those she loved.  This fear of abandonment crippled her in ways she didn't even realize.

It's natural to develop mechanisms to cope with the pain found from living in a fallen, broken world.  Often, these means of survival address a fear of loss or rejection of some kind but are far from healthy.  Knowing that I have security in my standing with God, that through faith in Jesus Christ I cannot lose the love He has for me, means I can face the difficulties of life with confidence.  Nothing I can do, or can be done to me, will make God stop loving me (Romans 8:35-39).  His love is so much bigger than that!

My place as a child of God through faith in Jesus Christ is secure enough to weather any storm.

Truth.  There must be some part I play, some work I must do, some way I should meet God partway.  It seems too much to expect Him to do all the work and make all the sacrifices.  How can I accept such an expensive gift at no cost to me (1 Timothy 1:9)?

It can be hard to receive the gift of salvation without feeling obligated to do something for God in return.  I live in a world where nothing is free and if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  Therefore, I often think I must somehow earn what Jesus has already secured for me through His death on the cross (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Once I realize that the relationship I enjoy with my Father in heaven is entirely based on His mercy, grace and love, not on my faithfulness, the pressure is off to somehow keep up my end of the bargain.  When I understand that my security in God's kingdom is due to His great love for me, I will no longer find it necessary to jump through hoops to please the God that wants nothing more than my heart.  After I get it through my thick head that there is not a thing I can do to earn my place in God's family, I will be free to be the me God created me to be, doing only what He compels me to do out of an overflow of His great love for me.

Since my relationship with God relies on Him, there is nothing I can add to somehow make it better or keep it strong.

I am bombarded with messages that may contradict what I know in my heart about the God who loves me perfectly.  It's easy to fall prey to the mindset that I must be careful what I say to God, that I could lose His love if I'm not careful, and that I have a responsibility to maintain the bond I share with Him.  In reality, God is big enough to handle what's going on in my heart and He wants nothing more than for me to come to Him honestly and frankly. Furthermore, He already did everything necessary through Jesus Christ to secure my place at His table and my connection to Him is entirely dependent on Him, not on anything I can do.  This is the kind of relationship I have in Christ.  May I let no one talk me out of such a treasure as this!

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to rest in Him.

How do I try to earn what has already been given?

When do think I must keep my harsh or ugly feelings to myself, thinking that God doesn't want to hear such unpleasantness? 

Rise from the Dust

“Wake up, sleeper,
   rise from the dead,
   and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:14

"I can do all this through him

who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13

"I can't do this anymore."

I have heard many in utter despair whisper these words of hopelessness.  Out of a place of sheer misery I have used this phrase.  It is often the last thought before someone takes their own life.  "I give up. . . .I can't do this anymore. . . "

I despair when I don't recognize the goodness and power of God all around me.  The feelings of hopelessness overwhelm and threaten to drown me, as if there is nothing that can pluck me out of the engulfing waters of depression.

God, however, has promised to keep my head above the waters.  He has exhorted me in Isaiah 43:1b-2 to, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you."

When I feel I am living in the dust, being trampled on by the hardships of life, there are some things I can do to rise from the shadows so Christ's light will shine upon me.

Fill Up

There are many things in this life that I can choose to fill up on.  I can find my fulfillment in work, my relationships, my family, my hobbies or in attaining the latest gadgets. 

All of these things will disappoint.  I cannot truly find fulfillment until I am filled with the Spirit of the One who created Me, who knows my purpose, and who gives my life meaning.  

To be filled with God's Spirit, however, I have to empty myself of me.  This does not mean I become someone other than myself.  Instead, it means that I surrender my will in exchange for God's will.  It means I let go of fleshly desires that lead away from God.  It means I become less and He becomes more, resulting in a more authentic me, as God intended me to live.   

Jesus is not a bully.  He does not force His way into anyone's life.  Instead, He patiently stands at the door of my heart, waiting for me to invite Him in and be Lord of my life.

God's Spirit dwelling within me will give me a sense of purpose and produce His fruit as evidence of His presence.

When I am feeling down, it may be because I am not filled up with the life-giving Spirit of God.

Exhort

It is often said that if you want to feel better about your situation in life, it is good to reach out and help someone else.

In a similar way, it is important that I step outside of myself and take the time to support others with a Word of encouragement.  God did not place me on this earth to suffer alone.  Rather, He situated me in a Body which is designed to live in community.

For this reason, I remember that my suffering is not for nothing.  Instead, I can give praise to, "the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

Exhorting others with the Word of God is essential to living a life of abundance.

Sing

Every morning I hear the sound of birds singing their praises to God.  As a created creature, they are acting according to the programming God has placed inside of them.

Unfortunately for us, even though we are designed to praise God, we are also sinful beings who are easily overwhelmed with the troubles of this world.  Jesus warned us of this fact when He said, "In the world you will have tribulation;"  He did not, however, end the warning there.  He continued on by saying, "but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NKJV)

It is possible for me to sing praises to God in the midst of the storm.  Doing so will bring peace to my heart and give honor to God who is good despite my seemingly dire situation.  His goodness is not diminished by my circumstances, and giving Him praise is what I am designed to do. 

As I, "Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy." (Psalm 33:3) my heart will be transformed from a dark place of hopelessness to a dwelling of Light and thankfulness.

Life is hard and there are many times when I feel trampled upon by the cares of this life.  But filling up with God's Spirit, encouraging others with a His Word, and singing praises and thanks to Him will help me to rise from the dust and find a place in the light.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will not let the worries of life consume me.

How do I let troubles be my main focus instead of training my eyes on God who is goodness and light?

When do I fail to support others because I am overwhelmed with my own troubles?