Attentive God

"You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book."

Psalm 56:8 NLT

Living in a harsh, cold world is hard.  Following a peculiar Savior is difficult.  There is an enemy of my soul who does his best to trip me up, to plant seeds of doubt and cultivate a heart of fear within me.  Even though I have all hope in Christ, this adversary bombards me with messages of worry and dread, tempting me to fall into hopelessness and despair.  The grief and heartache I feel is palpable.  Does God care?  Does He notice?

Yes, He does.  He is an attentive God!

Wanderings.  All I want to do is hide away somewhere safe where trouble will not find me.  I search high and low for such a place, a refuge from the harshness of this world.  Even though I find some solace in my chosen haven whether it be throwing myself in work, drowning my sorrows in drink, or trying to forget by pursuing sensual pleasures, the hurt is still there.  No matter what I do, I cannot escape the torment that is within.  Am I good enough?  What is my purpose?  What's the point of all this suffering?

I may feel all alone in the midst of the struggle, like no one cares and God is not listening.  The truth is, however, that He keeps track of everything I do to try to comfort myself, all the places I flee to for refuge, all the ways I try to forget.  My loving Father doesn't miss a thing.  

Not only does He notice, but He takes account of all my many wanderings.  This is a God who knows me intimately.  Therefore, I can trust Him with my deepest fears, my greatest struggles, and my darkest secrets.  He is a God who keeps account.

God is attentive to all the ways I try to escape from the heartache found in this world.

Tears.  I cry myself to sleep.  I steel away to the restroom and lock myself in a stall and shed my tears.  In front of others, I put on a  happy face but in private, the weeping commences unchecked.  No one knows how many tears I have shed over the sorrow of my soul. 

No one, that is, except for my Father who loves me.  He not only sees, but He has collected those tears and stored them in a bottle, so precious are they to Him.  My heartache is not trivial or meaningless.  He does not look at me and call me overly sensitive or too emotional.  His heart is moved by my bitter weeping.

There was a man who was king of Judah.  This man loved God and was devoted to Him but one day he became sick to the point of death.  Isaiah the prophet came to him and told him the time had come to set his affairs in order, for his life would soon end.  Hezekiah mourned over the thought of his death.  He pleaded with the Lord to save him, and then "he broke down and wept bitterly." (2 Kings 20:3b)

God didn't just say to Himself, "Sheesh, this guy has to face the facts, suck it up and accept his lot in life."  Instead, He had compassion, saying, "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears.  I will heal you. . ." (v5)

God hears my prayers, and every tear I shed is precious to Him.

Record.  Several years ago I began the practice of keeping what I call a "Stones of Remembrance Journal."  In this book, I record all the feats of God, the big and small evidences of His hand in my life.  When I go back and review what I've recorded, I am often amazed at how much happens all at once.  When I'm in the midst of it, I may take it all in stride, taking for granted much of His handiwork.  But when I read the entries in this journal, the scope of His power at work in my life becomes more evident.

God keeps a similar record of my life.  He takes note of my sufferings, my difficulties, my attempts to cope with everything that comes my way.  He doesn't roll His eyes, wondering when I'll trust Him enough to enter into the rest He has prepared for me (Hebrews 4:9-11).  He doesn't give up and move onto someone else when I forget to pray to Him instead of worrying and fretting (Philippians 4:6-7).  He doesn't sigh in frustration, doubting whether I'll ever get my act together and stop relying on my own strength instead of His (Isaiah 40:28-31).

My heavenly Father keeps a record of all my difficulties, all the ways I fail, all my sufferings, not so He can gloat over them or use them as ammunition to humiliate me as man might do.  My compassionate God does so in order to honor the life I live, to make much of all the ways I have suffered in following Him, to keep from taking lightly my heartache.  It's not trivial to me, and it certainly is not a small thing to God.  He loves me that much.

God keeps a record of all my struggles in life, so dear am I to Him.

Yes, I agree:  Life is hard.  It is even more difficult when I consider that I am following a Savior whose ways are upside down and backwards from this world's.  As a result, I have much opposition in life from the enemy of my soul.  Even so, I can take solace in the fact that my God is attentive to my struggles.  He keeps count of all the ways I attempt to cope, the tears I shed are seen as significant to Him, and He keeps a record of the difficulties I face.  My God is not aloof and uncaring.  No, my Father is an attentive God!

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can take solace in the fact that God sees and takes note of every heartache I endure.

When do I feel like I suffer alone, with no one who cares?

How does this aloneness increase my heartache?  Would knowing God is deeply moved by my tears bring some comfort?