Go Deeper

"Ask all the people of the land and the priests,

'When you fasted

and mourned in the fifth and sevenths months

for the past seventy years,

was it really for me that you fasted?

And when you were eating and drinking,

were you not just feasting for yourselves?'"

Zechariah 7:5-6

I go to Bible study so that I can learn more about God and grow in my faith.  I worship as a part of the Body of Christ on Sunday mornings so I can feel the connection to God.  I  study His Word each morning so that my understanding will increase.  I pray so that I can hear God's voice and receive answers.  I am almost always selfishly motivated when it comes to God and His Kingdom.

I once had a neighbor who put a lot of demands on me.  As soon as our family moved into our new house she was on me like white on rice.  She had all kinds of plans for me as her new friend.  Her intention was that we would be the kind of friends that could just walk through each others' back doors unannounced.  To say the least, I was uncomfortable with her plans. 

Part of my frustration with that neighbor was that everything she did was all about her.  It seemed her only concern was with what she would get out of the friendship whether it be shared meal responsibilities, help with the kids or companionship.  She did not care about getting to know me or what made me tick.  Rather, she wanted to use me as a pawn in her game of life.

If I'm honest with myself, my relationship with God is much the same.  I don't really care to know about God unless it will help me become a better person, grow as a Christian or build my faith.  Rarely do I study His Word just to know Him more, without an ulterior motive.  I build healthy habits, godly friendships and good practices because I know it's good for me, kind of like eating broccoli.  

God wants more from me than regular ritual, shallow efforts and selfish motives.  He wants me to be like Caleb and Joshua who set themselves apart from their fellow Israelites by following God wholeheartedly.   He wants me to go deeper.

Awareness

Pastor Calvin Miller said, "Hate is born when men call evil good.  And like an infant serpent bursting from its small confining shell, it can never be cased so small again."  I may not like to think of myself as someone who hates, but I find I am quick to judge another's sins as wrong.  As I think about the wrongdoing of another, my heart turns proud and I self-righteously look down my nose at them.  I condemn them while turning a blind eye to my own sin.  

My pastor, Paul Pepin, says that it's hard to be judgmental when you remember who you are: a sinner saved by grace.  If I'm more focused on other people's sins but never take a good look at my own, I will never recognize how much Jesus suffered under the wrath of God because of my sin.  He willingly went to the cross to take the punishment for my selfishness, pride, intolerance and the like.  If I remember how much I've been forgiven, I'll be able to have mercy on others and love them right where they are. . . just like God does.

Anytime I overlook my own shortcomings and label them favorably, I am staying on the surface in my relationship with God.  He desires my honesty and sincerity.  Since He already knows my every thought, I am only fooling myself when I pretend to be better than I am or to gloss over my areas of sin.  Laying it openly before Him and allowing the Light to touch the darkness will bring healing and wholeness.  

Listen to the lyrics of "Bring it into the Light" by Haley Johnson and reflect on God's loving mercy, allowing sinners like me and you to connect meaningfully with Him.

If I want to go deeper with God, it is important for me to stay in a state of awareness of my sin and thus my intense need for Jesus.

Investigation

When I first met my husband, I wanted to know everything about him.  As our love grew, it was important to me that I understood his likes and dislikes, his family background, his motivations and his deepest thoughts.  Learning more about him helped our relationship as I could better appreciate him as a person, not just as my husband.

In my relationship with God I want to cultivate a similar investigative attitude, seeking to know Him intimately so I can better appreciate Who He is.  It is easy for me to take God for granted and think I have Him all figured out.  But God is complex and His workings unfathomable.  I could dedicate my whole life to studying Him but only discover a fraction of His character.  

On the other hand, God knows me intimately.  There is nothing about me that is a surprise to Him.  He delights in me! In the same way, He wants me to learn what is important to Him, what makes Him smile and what boils His blood.   Most of the time, it seems I only find out what is relevant to me.  I love to know He's got a great plan for my life but do I care to find out that He hates my tolerance of sin?  Jesus said it would be better for me to cut off my right hand if it caused me to sin.

If I really know His attitude toward sin, for example, why do I tolerate it in my life?  Why is it so easy to turn a blind eye?  Why do I minimize it and call it a weakness?  If sin wasn't a big problem, He would not have sent His only Son to make a way of reconciliation and redemption.  

Seeking to know God means I'll discover some personal sins, distractions and trivialities that I must cut off in my own life.  As Oswald Chambers said, "There are many things that are perfectly legitimate, but if you are going to concentrate on God you cannot do them."  

For instance, television can potentially bring a lot of worldly attitudes, sinful behaviors and raunchy entertainment into my home.  While I can choose to only watch God-honoring shows, I must ask if this is the best way to spend my time and whether it is serving to draw me closer to God.  

If I want to go deeper with God I must seek to know Him and ask the hard questions that will draw me even closer to Him.

Devotion

When my dog looks into my eyes, you'd think I was his whole world.  He follows me around and desires nothing more than to be in my presence.  He even keeps tabs on my emotions; if I show a slight change in demeanor, he rushes to my side to comfort or calm.  Coal is devoted to me as his master.

This is the same kind of devotion I want with my Master.  As I go through my day, I have many tasks to accomplish and responsibilities to shoulder, but nothing needs to overshadow my attention to my Lord.  

Unfortunately, this is not the life I currently live.  I may start off each day well, but the moment a frustration or difficulty rears it's ugly head I lose focus of God.  I forget Who I'm following and start running after solutions.  I forget that everything that happens to me is used for the good and that I exist for His glory, not for my own.  In essence, I lose my single-minded, wholehearted devotion.

When my whole heart is committed to God, His love overflows in my heart and into the lives of others.  It won't matter that those I'm serving treat me like dirt because such will be my love for God.  When I'm fully dedicated to the Lord, the outcome of my service will matter not as long as I'm obedient to Him.   The time I spend will never be thought of as a waste even if no human notices my efforts.

Maybe my reactions could serve as a barometer measuring my level of devotion to God.  If I'm easily offended by offensive treatment, disappointed by lackluster results or hurt by a lack of recognition, then my heart is not with God.

If I want to go deeper with God, it is important that I dedicate my whole heart to Him.

It's easy to fall into the pattern of going through the motions when it comes to my relationship with Jesus.  But if I really want to please Him, I must go deeper.  That means I'll have to stay aware of my identity as a sinner saved by grace, ask the hard questions and gain a level of wholehearted devotion to God and God alone.  If this is my quest, my life will never be the same again.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can fully open my heart to God, not holding back any fears or secrets.

When do I tend to seek to know myself more than I strive to know the heart of God?

What is it that I'm afraid to look at within myself?  What would happen if I exposed that area to the Light?