Examination

"Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

When I was younger in my faith, I couldn't point out many sin problems.  I knew I suffered from a severe case of impatience and short-temperdness, but it was hard for me to root out any other issues that might offend God.  Then I grew closer to the Great Examiner of my heart and I discovered the ugly truth:  There is no area of sin with which I am not infected, making me even more thankful for Jesus Christ my Lord who has rescued me from this body of death!  

I am completely incapable of examining my own heart.  I am unable to see myself accurately.  Since I can't self-diagnose when it comes to sin, I had better leave that job up to God.  What happens when I invite Him in for a thorough examination?

Search and Try.  Whenever I go to the dentist, I endure his bright light as he peers into my mouth, searching for issues that may cause problems in the future.  Invariably, he'll discover something I knew nothing about; a tiny cavity in the making, gums that are becoming inflamed, or fillings that are weakening.  He also can objectively give me an accurate assessment of my brushing and flossing job, showing me areas I'm neglecting or pointing out particular surfaces to which I must pay special attention.  He does this all for my welfare, not to make me feel bad.

It's the same with God.  When I place myself on His examining table, He can show me areas that cause problems in the way I interact with others, or unhealthy methods for coping that I've adopted, or wrong attitudes or thought patterns regarding life and love, especially when it comes to the way I think about Him.  As I endure His bright Light, He lovingly shows me where I'm off, giving me a gently rebuke for how I've resisted His better way as He renews my mind (Romans 12:2).  His love for me gives me confidence as I place myself under His authority, giving Him a chance to purify my heart.  All the while, I know the exam is for my own good and His glory.

When I invite my kind and loving Father to examine my heart, He will gently search my heart.

Root Out.  I have a friend who maintains a beautiful garden.  As her children have grown, however, her priorities have changed and the job of tending the garden has fallen by the wayside.  To help curb the growth of weeds that have taken over, she borrowed her neighbors pigs.  As they foraged for food in her plot, they rooted out most of the unwanted plants, doing double duty of consuming the weeds while tilling up the soil, saving her hours of back-breaking work.

God has a similar ability to separate the godly stuff from the offensive ways as He continues His examination of my heart.  While I may see no problem with certain attitudes, He shows me how they are offensive to Him and destructive to me.  He is able to give me insight into what makes me tick, burrowing deep to bring dark secrets out into the Light where they can be dealt with.  Healing comes as I repent of these ways I was never meant to follow.  I need God's loving ability to root out the wrong thinking, habits and attitudes buried deep within me, knowing all along that He has my best interest at heart.

When I invite my gentle and gracious Father to examine my heart, He will expertly root out what doesn't belong there.

Lead.  The baby robin sat perched on a piece of exercise equipment in our barn.  My daughter discovered the little guy when she entered the cavernous building we use as a gym one morning in order to work out.  Even though we opened the large door in order to let him out, he would not budge an inch on his own, despite his mother's desperate calling in the adjacent yard.  We had to use a mat to guide him toward the door where he hopped out to freedom, reunited with his relieved mother.

I can be just as ignorant of God's better way for me.  I tend to wander, just like that baby bird, getting myself into tight spots, impossible predicaments, and destructive difficulties.  As God shows me how I'm wrong, He doesn't leave me there, wondering how to do better.  Instead, He shows me a new and improved way to communicate, gives me a more healthy method for coping with stress, or opens up my mind to a more beneficial attitude.  However He chooses to reveal this better way, I must be ready to follow Him wherever He leads me, trusting that He has an emotionally and spiritually prosperous path for me to walk.

When I invite my wise and considerate Father to examine my heart, He will lead me down the path that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

While I may be encouraged to conduct a self-exam when it comes to certain aspects of my health, it is impossible for me to accurately assess my own spiritual well-being.  For this I need my Father who can expertly and lovingly examine my heart, root out what doesn't belong there, and replace it with His better way.  When I place myself under His bright light of scrutiny, I will find freedom and healing.  This is the kind of examination I need not fear.  This is the kind of examination that is for my good and His glory.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to let Him look deep within my heart.

When do I assume I'm okay, or fear God's intense scrutiny?

How can I remind myself that God is for me, not against me?