Loving with Abandon

The Word of the Lord came to me:

“Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem:

‘I remember the devotion of your youth,

how as a bride you loved me

and followed me through the desert,

through a land not sown.’”

Jeremiah 2:2

I remember when I first met my husband.  I was a college student and he was a soldier serving at an army post 6 hours away.  I would wake up thinking about him, getting a little thrill in the pit of my stomach at the thought of him.  Every time the phone rang, I hoped it was him.  As I walked to class, I imagined I saw him even though he was miles away. 

Even after we married and raised four children, my heart jumps when I see him and I can’t think of anyone with whom I’d rather spend time.  I am in love with my husband!

Am I in love with Jesus, wanting nothing more than to spend time with Him and please Him with the little things I do throughout the day?  Or am I in love with what He has done for me, thankful that He sacrificed His life so that I can live forever, but not really treasuring Him as my Savior?

Maybe I’m too uptight, but loving Jesus with abandon is hard for me.   Jesus wants all of me: my heart, my mind, my life.  But all too often I focus on what I can do for Him out of a sense of duty, or an expectation of what I think a “good Christian” should do, or out of gratefulness for what He’s done for me.

If I performed little acts of kindness to my husband for these same reasons, I don’t think it would mean as much to him as if I did them out of devotion to him, desiring to please him and bring him pleasure.  So why do I have a hard time abandoning myself in pure devotion to my Savior? 

Fear

I am a fearful creature.  I am hesitant to put myself into a situation where I don’t know the outcome.  Even though only God truly knows how things will turn out, I have deceived myself into believing that I have some semblance of control and I consequently make choices according to what is comfortable or familiar to me.

But this is not how to live a life abandoned to Christ.  When Peter jumped out of the boat to walk toward his beloved Jesus, he did so out of pure devotion without a second thought toward what might be the consequences of his actions.  All he knew was that he saw Jesus and he wanted to go to him.

As long as Peter kept his eyes trained upon the One he loved, he was able to walk on the water.  But as soon as he turned his attention to the waves crashing around him, he lost faith and gave into his fear, sinking down into the depths of the sea.

Loving Jesus means keeping my attention upon Him, not on my circumstances, problems or surroundings.  If I only had eyes for Him, my love for Him would grow.

To love Jesus with abandon, I must turn from my fears and desire Him only.

Misunderstanding Love

As a sinful human living in a fallen world, I don’t really understand God’s love.  Love in my world is conditional, coming and going in direct proportion to my behavior.  Love in my world is a physical love, tied closely to romance or sentiment toward a parent or child.  Love in my world is shallow, based mostly on feelings.

God’s love is different.  His love is not based on my performance but on His character.   It does not come and go with the changing seasons, but as David said in Psalm 138:8, “your love, O Lord, endures forever—“

The love of God is not a physical thing but is His defining feature.   1 Corinthians 13:4-8 lists the qualities of His love as patience and kindness.  His kind of love contains no envy, boasting, pride, rudeness, or seeking of selfish desires.  God’s love is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, and always celebrates the truth, shunning evil.  God’s love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.  God’s love never fails.

God’s love is deep.  The Apostle Paul’s desire for the believers in Ephesus was that they would, “have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19)

Understanding this love gives me insight into how I can love Jesus His way.  Just as He chose to demonstrate His love for me by dying on the cross while I was still deep in my sin,  I can choose to demonstrate my love for Him in a real, tangible way by loving those around me, especially the ones who live a life deep in sin, rendering them unlovable.

Myself

I may be the biggest obstacle to loving Jesus without inhibition.  If I am honest with myself, I am very important to me!  My desires, my comfort and my plans matter to me.  In fact, I could even go so far as to say that they matter more to me than anything else.

To love Jesus supremely as the Lord of my life, I cannot cater to my needs as I tend to.  Instead,  I need to do as Peter advised in 1 Peter 3:15.  He said that in my heart I should, “. . .set apart Christ as Lord.”

If I exchange Jesus for myself as the one who is most important and lord of my life, then I will be able to love Him in the way He designed me to love.

In order to give myself in devotion to my Savior I must first let go of the fear that grips me, understand His kind of love and pass that love on to others, and take myself out of the position as lord of my life and put Jesus in that place.  Then I can love Jesus with abandon!

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I can give Jesus my first, my best and my all.

How do my own selfish desires get in the way of Jesus’ longing to truly reign in my life?

What fears are holding me back from loving Jesus?