The Training Ground

 "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
      but dwelling on it separates close friends."

Proverbs 17:9

"Above all, love each other deeply,

because love covers over a multitude of sins."

1 Peter 4:8

Living with others is difficult.  God created me to live in community with others.  He did not fashion me lovingly out of raw materials, placing me purposefully within my mother's womb in order that I live a solitary life.

It is easy for me to be alone.  I enjoy my own company, I never disagree with myself, and I always get to do what I want.  But living alone is not where God has placed me. 

He has given me a family of six with whom I share a home and life, and He has placed me within a community of believers with whom I share a faith and life.  Consequently, I don't always enjoy the company, there is frequent disagreement and I don't always get my way.

Community was created by God for a purpose.  English poet Lord Houghton said, "The Christian home is the Master's workshop where the processes of character molding are silently, lovingly, faithfully, and successfully carried on."

Family, no matter how large or small, is used by God to mold us, train us and test us.  Even though our modern society tends to place the burden of education upon the schools, God has positioned this responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the family.  It is more than a place where we belong and are loved.  It is also the best place to learn how to graciously live with others.

Forgive

Ghandi proclaimed that, "The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  Letting go of an offense another committed against me does take strength.  But God has called me to forgive, and He is faithful to provide the strength to do so. 

Jesus taught that we reap what we sow.  He said, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven. . .  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:37,38)  My life is a reflection of the way I treat others.  If I am unwillingly to let go of a hurt carried out against me, I will live a life of anger and bitterness.  But, if I choose to release the burden of the offense, my load will be lightened and I will be free to live as God intended.

There is a parable Jesus told of an unforgiving servant.  Out of mercy, the king forgave one of his servants of a very large debt. Unfortunately, that servant turned around and treated harshly one who owed him a small amount, expecting full payment and throwing him into prison.  The master called the servant in and turned him into the jailers to be tortured for his inability to pass on the forgiveness he had so freely been given.

Jesus then said, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35)

When I realize how much I have been forgiven by God, I can do no less than forgive those who have offended me.

Family is the perfect place to practice the art of forgiveness.

Come Alongside

I remember a time when I fell behind on paying my newspaper bill.  The carrier called me, and instead of chastising me or demanding payment immediately, she graciously gave me the benefit of the doubt, encouraging me to send payment as soon as I was able.  When I got off the phone with her, not only did I want to catch up on my payment, but I did not feel in the least angry or violated.  It seemed she was on my side and wanted only to help. 

This is how I am to live my life with others, especially those I love the most.  I am like most people and respond better to a gentle hand on the shoulder guiding me along to a certain destination rather than a shaking finger in my face, condemning me of my failure.

It reminds me of when a Navy ship needs fuel, food or other supplies.  Since it can't always pull into a port and receive these needed items, a support ship will come alongside and supply the needs of the working vessel as they both steam along its course. 

This is a beautiful picture of how I can support someone in need.  Instead of launching a frontal attack, I can come alongside and provide the encouragement and help they so desperately need.  In this way I am not stopping their forward progress, but am simply providing support as they make their way on their journey. 

The goal of coming alongside is always restoration with God and others.  It is not simply pointing out a wrong, but encouraging those who are struggling to seek God's course for their life and give them every resource available to help them reset their life-route toward God.

Family is the perfect place to practice coming alongside.

Pray

When living with others, there are many opportunities to practice the art of extending grace.  My actions may very well deserve harsh treatment from others, but always receiving what I deserve makes for a bleak and cruel existence.

There are many times when I have forgiven someone and have come alongside them, but they are not ready to change.  Even though talking to my Heavenly Father is vital at all times, during times when change will not come, prayer becomes essential. 

Prayer has a way of changing my heart and helping me to see others as God sees them.  Prayer puts me in touch with the heart of God and reminds me that He is the One who is in the business of changing hearts.

Eugene Peterson said, "In prayer, we are aware that God is in action and that when the circumstances are ready, when others are in the right place, and when our hearts are prepared, he will call us into action.  Waiting in prayer is a disciplined refusal to act before God acts."

It reminds me of when I was a child and my mother was a smoker.  My grandmother would constantly nag her about quitting, clipping out newspaper articles about the harmful effects of smoking and repeat information she learned by watching television programs about how to quit smoking.

My grandmother meant well, but none of her efforts brought about the desired outcome.  My mom did not quit smoking until God changed her heart some years later, giving her the desire to stop the harmful habit.  He also gave her a bout with walking pneumonia to strengthen her resolve.  She has not picked up a cigarette since.

Since God is the Author of change, it is smart for me to spend more time praying for those who are close to me instead of trying to create a transformation I have no power to bring about.  It will only result in frustration and strained relationships.

Family is the perfect place to practice praying for one another.

No matter how big or small the family, it is an institution God has provided to help us to learn to live with others.  I can use it to practice forgiving, coming alongside and praying for others.

Like they always say, "Practice makes perfect."  While I won't reach perfect this side of heaven, at least the practice time I receive in the family will benefit me as I transfer the use of these skills in interacting with others out in the world.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will see my family for all the blessings of which they provide.

When do I speak first and pray later?  How can I remember to commit the unprepared heart into God's hands?  

When do I tend to be harsh in the way I handle conflict instead of coming alongside in love?



A New Thing

"Then he returned to the disciples and said to them,

'Are you still sleeping and resting?

Look, the hour has come,

and the Son of Man is delivered

into the hands of sinners. 

Rise!

Let us go!'"

Matthew 26:45-46

 “Forget the former things;
   do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

Isaiah 43:19

 My mind drifts back to past failures and I involuntarily shudder as I remember the feelings of disappointment, embarrassment and failure.  I think we've all experienced this phenomenon of reliving  past mistakes. 

There's a fitting Cherokee Proverb that goes, "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."  Although it's hard to let go of missed chances, failures to make the most of every opportunity or times when I've simply dropped the ball, God does not hold these against me.  He has a better way.

Acknowledge



In the 32nd Psalm, David describes the misery he goes through as he attempts to hide his sin.  He felt as though he was wasting away and his heart was heavy with guilt.  Once he came to the point of admitting his disobedience to God, he explained the process this way. 

"Then I acknowledged my sin to you
   and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, 'I will confess
   my transgressions to the LORD.'
And you forgave
   the guilt of my sin." 

(Psalm 32:5)

Before I can experience liberation from past failures, I must admit my sin to God, confessing my guilt.  Sometimes it's simply a heart attitude which is unpleasing to the Lord, sometimes it's an outright rebellious action.  Either way, He has already forgiven me through the sacrifice of His Son on the cross, so my forgiveness does not depend upon my confession.  But if I want to be free of the guilt of this wrong, I must come to terms with it and identify it for what it is: sin.

Acknowledging my past sin before God is the first step in the process of experiencing the new thing God has for me in the present.

Let Go

Psalm 103:12 reminds us that, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  While this is true for God, it is not so for me.  I have a hard time letting go of past failures. 

Forgiveness can be defined as the act of letting go.  When I hold onto these past transgressions, using them to beat myself up, I am refusing to forgive myself.  What I am saying is that God has already released me from that transgression, but I refuse to let myself off the hook.  I am requiring of myself something more than Christ crucified.

When Jesus willingly gave himself over to be brutally killed, He did so out of obedience to His Father's plan of redemption.  He paid the penalty for my sins, providing a way for me to be reconciled with a holy God and to receive from Him the forgiveness of my sins.

If I am unwilling to forgive myself based on this truth, then I am minimizing the power of the sacrifice of Christ!  I am declaring the cross to be impotent.

The Apostle Paul reminds me that, ". . .  the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." (1 Corinthians 1:18)

The act of forgiving myself reflects my understanding and acceptance of the power of God found in the message of the cross.

Move On

When the disciples let Jesus down at His time of greatest need while He waited for His accuser to arrive in the Garden of Gethsemane, He gave them a simple yet powerful command.  "Rise!  Let us Go!" (Matthew 26:46)

Even though his close companions and followers let Jesus down by falling asleep when He asked them to stay awake and stand guard, the plan was still going forth as God had planned.  Their disobedience did not change the course of the future.

Oswald Chamber put it this way.  "Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and go out into the irresistible future with Him."

Jesus did not write them off.  He did not give up on them and tell them they were hopeless failures!  Instead, He forgave them and said, "Let's go."

God's plan is not dependent upon my success or failures.  It will go forth despite my obedience or disobedience.

It reminds me of the call to action given to Queen Esther my her cousin Mordecai. He said, “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape.  For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:12-14)

In other words, God will save His people whether you act or not.  The question is, will you be a part of His plan, or will you be against it?

If I made the foolish choice to let an opportunity to obey God pass me by, I still have more opportunities yet to come.  The course of the future has not been altered.  I have the freedom to move on.

God is doing a new thing right now.  If I don't move on from where I've been, I might miss it!

We all make mistakes, missing chances to obey God, thus sinning against Him.  But once I acknowledge that sin and let go of it, I am free to move on. 

God is a God of second chances.  Let this be the day that I begin to accept His grace and go on to the next thing!

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I can forgive myself of the sins that weigh me down.

How am I refusing myself forgiveness for which something God has already granted forgiveness?

What area of my life from which am I struggling to move on?

Purpose for the Pain

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

Romans 8:35,37

When going through times of trouble, periods of persecution or interludes of sadness, I often cease to feel God's presence.  My own anguish threatens to envelope me, sealing me off from the Lord's presence. 

But He never left me.  He is always there, rather it is I who left Him.  Not intentionally, as in, "I don't need Him anymore, I can do this on my own."  Instead, it's more of a, "woe is me, how did I get in so deep?  I cannot find my way out of this mess."  

My focus becomes entirely consumed by the problems and I don't see, feel or sense God anymore.  I am drowning in the issues of life.

But hard times don't need to separate me from God, instead they can be tools that serve to strengthen my relationship with Him. 

Draw Me Closer

When times of trouble come, it is easy for me to allow the difficulties to take control.  Soon, I am overwhelmed and can see no way out.

If, instead, I intentionally take a moment and seek God, I will find that He is still present, in control and waiting for me to call on Him.  As the psalmist described God's desire for us in Psalm 50:15,  he records God's proclomation. ". . .call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

God is ready to act but it takes a step of faith for me to give a problem to Him before He will get involved.  His desire is to draw me closer, and many times the hardships are the only thing that will turn me toward Him.  Otherwise, I am completely content to live my life as it is. 

God uses adversity to draw me closer, but I must not let the troubles take control lest they overwhelm me.  If I intentionally turn away from the problem, and focus on Him as the solution, I will find Him there, closer than I ever realized.

Struggles are God's way of teaching me to cry out to Him.

Grow my Faith

When I was pregnant with triplets and on bedrest in the hospital, I learned quite a few things about babies under stress.  I found out that baby girls seem to withstand difficult pregnancies better than boys, that multiples tend to develop faster, and that the baby under the most stress seems to fare the best.   Infants born with multiple problems and low birth weight often have a better chance than those born early but with less difficulties.  The stress of the struggle tends to give the baby a better chance of survival.

It is the same with me.  If I never experienced any hard times, my faith would be weak.  I'd never get the chance to test it out! 

Trials are not simply there to make life interesting.  They are opportunities to trust God, to believe that He will do as He promised.  Difficulties give me a chance to see God in a whole new way, giving me more faith.

English clergyman George Herbert is known to have said, "Storms make oaks take deeper roots."  I want to have deep roots that draw from the living water that never goes dry.

As I go through the storms of life, instead of despairing, I can rejoice.  God is giving me another opportunity to trust Him and grow the roots of my faith.

Experience His Comfort

I remember the times when I skinned my knee, stubbed my toe or hurt myself in some way as a child.  I would then get to see a different side of my dad.  He would lighten the mood by calling for, "Dr Shane, Dr Shane, please come to the treatment room!"  Then he would lovingly clean my wound, instantly putting me at ease and making me feel better.  Everything was going to be okay!

God is the same way!  When I am hurt, I can turn to Him and He will comfort me.  As David wrote in Psalm 34:18, " The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

God provides hard times as a chance to get to know Him better.  I would never become familiar with His caring, gentle side if I didn't experience hardships.  

Difficulties are often seen as the bane of my existence, but in reality I can look at them as an opportunity to draw closer to God, to grow my faith and to experience His comfort.  There is a purpose for the pain!

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will take whatever come to me today as an opportunity to learn more about God.

How do I let troubles take control instead of turning to God and letting Him handle them for me?

When have I experienced the God of all comfort?

Rise from the Dust

“Wake up, sleeper,
   rise from the dead,
   and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:14

"I can do all this through him

who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13

"I can't do this anymore."

I have heard many in utter despair whisper these words of hopelessness.  Out of a place of sheer misery I have used this phrase.  It is often the last thought before someone takes their own life.  "I give up. . . .I can't do this anymore. . . "

I despair when I don't recognize the goodness and power of God all around me.  The feelings of hopelessness overwhelm and threaten to drown me, as if there is nothing that can pluck me out of the engulfing waters of depression.

God, however, has promised to keep my head above the waters.  He has exhorted me in Isaiah 43:1b-2 to, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you."

When I feel I am living in the dust, being trampled on by the hardships of life, there are some things I can do to rise from the shadows so Christ's light will shine upon me.

Fill Up

There are many things in this life that I can choose to fill up on.  I can find my fulfillment in work, my relationships, my family, my hobbies or in attaining the latest gadgets. 

All of these things will disappoint.  I cannot truly find fulfillment until I am filled with the Spirit of the One who created Me, who knows my purpose, and who gives my life meaning.  

To be filled with God's Spirit, however, I have to empty myself of me.  This does not mean I become someone other than myself.  Instead, it means that I surrender my will in exchange for God's will.  It means I let go of fleshly desires that lead away from God.  It means I become less and He becomes more, resulting in a more authentic me, as God intended me to live.   

Jesus is not a bully.  He does not force His way into anyone's life.  Instead, He patiently stands at the door of my heart, waiting for me to invite Him in and be Lord of my life.

God's Spirit dwelling within me will give me a sense of purpose and produce His fruit as evidence of His presence.

When I am feeling down, it may be because I am not filled up with the life-giving Spirit of God.

Exhort

It is often said that if you want to feel better about your situation in life, it is good to reach out and help someone else.

In a similar way, it is important that I step outside of myself and take the time to support others with a Word of encouragement.  God did not place me on this earth to suffer alone.  Rather, He situated me in a Body which is designed to live in community.

For this reason, I remember that my suffering is not for nothing.  Instead, I can give praise to, "the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

Exhorting others with the Word of God is essential to living a life of abundance.

Sing

Every morning I hear the sound of birds singing their praises to God.  As a created creature, they are acting according to the programming God has placed inside of them.

Unfortunately for us, even though we are designed to praise God, we are also sinful beings who are easily overwhelmed with the troubles of this world.  Jesus warned us of this fact when He said, "In the world you will have tribulation;"  He did not, however, end the warning there.  He continued on by saying, "but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NKJV)

It is possible for me to sing praises to God in the midst of the storm.  Doing so will bring peace to my heart and give honor to God who is good despite my seemingly dire situation.  His goodness is not diminished by my circumstances, and giving Him praise is what I am designed to do. 

As I, "Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy." (Psalm 33:3) my heart will be transformed from a dark place of hopelessness to a dwelling of Light and thankfulness.

Life is hard and there are many times when I feel trampled upon by the cares of this life.  But filling up with God's Spirit, encouraging others with a His Word, and singing praises and thanks to Him will help me to rise from the dust and find a place in the light.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will not let the worries of life consume me.

How do I let troubles be my main focus instead of training my eyes on God who is goodness and light?

When do I fail to support others because I am overwhelmed with my own troubles?

 



Be on Guard

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 

 Put on the full armor of God,

so that you can take your stand

against the devil’s schemes."

Ephesians 6:10-11

"Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 

 Resist him, standing firm in the faith . . ."

1 Peter 5:8-9

Satan is sneaky.  He is always looking for ways to replace God as the most High, to divide us as believers, to deceive us and to ultimately destroy us.  Satan is serious about his mission and he never sleeps.

Consequently, I must never let my guard down.  Not so that I become suspicious and incapable of trusting anyone, but so I can do as Jesus instructed when He said, "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."  (Matthew 10:16)

In my quest to reach out to the lost people around me, I sometimes become a victim of Satan's evil schemes.    He cleverly uses people to lure me into a trap, to tempt me into sin and thus disgrace the name of Jesus, or to plant a seed of doubt. 

Because of the constant nature of Satan's attacks, I must be like a soldier in battle; always fitted with the armour of God and ever ready to take up my weapons of warfare in prayer and the Sword of the Spirit ,which is the word of God.  After all, the battle is the Lord's!

Alert and Sober

War is serious business.  Ask any soldier and he will tell you that one can never let their guard down but must always be expecting attack.  A soldier's job is to recognize the threat and react appropriately when the inevitable assault comes.

My call as a follower of Christ is no different.  I have an enemy who will stop at nothing to destroy my faith, my testimony and my ministry.  Satan has many tactics at his disposal and will stop at nothing to reach his objective.

My family is one of my most important ministries.  As a mother and homemaker, it is my job to train up the children who have been placed in my care as well as to guard my home against all intruders.  Make no mistake about it, Satan is out to get our children! 

As a result, I must always be alert as to the threat and vigilantly and purposefully be looking for ways Satan is corrupting the minds and hearts of those placed in my care.  What belief system has snuck into my way of thinking that is contrary to God's teachings?  What forms of entertainment are poisoning the living water that flows out to my family?  How are intruders sneaking into my home and wreaking havoc?

I must expect attacks and always be looking for the evil that lurks, or the wolves in sheeps' clothing.

Resist

Once the threat has been identified, action can be taken.  I have been assured that, "You, dear children, are from God . . . .the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

Even though Satan is constantly at work, Jesus has authority over him as a created being.   As one who belongs to Jesus, Satan has no authority over me.  This means I can stand up to him.  I do not have to fall for his schemes.  I can refuse to go along with him.  I can resist.

My battle plan is laid out in James 4:7.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."  Satan will retreat when I put myself under God's dominion and defy my enemy's schemes.

When a guest in my home attempts to draw me into an argument, I can withstand the temptation and respond in a loving, peaceful way, thus diffusing the conflict.  When technology threatens to fritter away the precious moments God has given me to glorify Him that day, I can choose better uses of my time.  When children push my buttons, attempting to manipulate me into allowing destructive practices or forms of entertainment, I am instead able to select God-honoring alternatives.

As I recognize the attacks of the Evil One, I am able to withstand them.

Stand Firm

I remember a game we frequently played on the playground during grade school called, "Red Rover."  Two teams would stand holding hands in lines facing each other.  One team would call one of the opponents over, at which time that chosen player would run with all their might, attempting to break through the clasped hands.  I found that if I could withstand the initial attack, it was much easier to resist subsequent efforts at breaking the bond. Unfortunately, if we let our guard down, that opponent could sneak through our weakened defenses and my teammates and I would lose a player to the other team.

Similarly, once I have recognized and resisted the attack, it is now my duty to not lose any ground to the enemy.  If I let my guard down, thinking the attack is over, I might step back and give in.

It is easy to compromise principles, negotiate standards or find the middle ground in order to keep from rocking the boat.  But God calls me to stand firm, not as a way of defending God.  He needs no one to defend Him.  Instead, I am encouraged to, "stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you. . ." (2 Thessalonians 2:15)

Standing firm entails constant immersion in God's Word, continual communication with His Spirit, and steady plodding toward the goal of Christ-likeness. 

As a follower of Christ, I have an enemy that doesn't give up.  It is important to acknowledge his presence without giving him too much attention.  A healthy balance must be found as I stay alert and focused, resist his schemes and stand firm for the Truth as I've been taught.

Satan only has as much power as I give him.  I must be careful to not unknowingly give him dominion over any part of my life.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will take my job of recognizing Satan's attacks seriously.

Where is my line of defense weak against Satan?  What areas am I weak and susceptible to attack?

How can I do a better job of standing firm by better getting to know God and my position as His child?

Purpose in the Darkness

"What I tell you in the dark,

speak in the daylight;

what is whispered in your ear,

proclaim from the roofs."

Matthew 10:27

 "Songbirds are taught to sing in the dark,

and we are put into the shadow of God's hand

until we learn to hear Him."   

Oswald Chambers

My Utmost for His Highest

Sitting on the porch in the dark, I heard the most curious thing:  The sound of a bird chirping a tune I was used to hearing in the morning.  I wondered why that solitary creature chose to sing while all was shadows and quiet.  Knowing that birds act according to instinct, I figured God had wired that bird to sing His praises in the dead of night.

I am wired that way, too, but my sinful flesh gets in the way.  Hard times come and I immediately go into survival mode, shutting down all but the necessary functions.  I spend my time looking for answers and often forget all I have to sing about.

God told us that everything we go through has a purpose. . . His purpose.  But many times I get bogged down with the difficulties of life and forget this truth. 

Darkness, too, has a purpose. 

Training in Righteousness

I am made righteous through faith in Jesus Christ.  Nothing I do can make me holy and sinless. . . .only the blood of Jesus accomplishes this.

When hard times come, however, I am easily caught up in worry, forgetting that God knows what I need and will provide those requirements.  Instead of getting distracted by the cares of this world, I can focus on God and what He is doing through my present circumstances.  Jesus taught in Matthew 6:33 to, ". . .  seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

"All these things," include all the stuff I tend to worry about, especially in times of difficulty: food, shelter, clothing, paying the bills, resolving conflicts, time management, raising children. . .the list goes on. . .

Times of trial give me a chance to practice pursuing God's kingdom and righteousness.  Not as something I can possess for myself, but as a state of being.  I can either choose to live in His Kingdom as His child, or I can live as if I don't belong to Him, as if He will not supply my every need.

Darkness is a time to practice living in the light.

Learning to Listen

My husband and I recently attended a marriage conference which I highly recommend to any married couple.  As we worked on the projects together, we realized how much work it takes to listen.   I think of communication as conveying my message accurately and effectively.  But most of good communication is listening.  And not just listening, but paying attention with the goal of understanding.

Some of God's most powerful lessons are taught in the darkness.  When I'm going through a hard time, though, I do a lot of thinking, analyzing and discussing.  I look for answers, seeking solutions and searching for explanations but I don't spend much time listening to God's still, small voice.

If I did listen, He would teach me something.  And then I can take that lesson and use it to encourage others. 

Darkness is a time to learn to listen to the voice of God.

Growing in Faith

My ability to trust and have confidence in God is not from myself. It is not something I can generate from within.  Rather, it is from outside myself.   "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8) 

God has given me the faith I need to not only trust Jesus as my Savior, but also to trust Him during difficult times.  I need, however, to practice using my faith during times of trouble. 

It reminds me of CPR training.  I learned the mechanics and the theory, but then I had to put it into practice in order to develop the skill.  I couldn't just listen to someone explain it and watch someone else do it.  I had to try it myself in order to really know how to perform CPR.

Faith is the same way.  I can read about everyone who has great faith and watch others live lives of great faith, but until I practice it myself I won't know how to use it.

Times of darkness give me a chance to develop the faith God has given me.

Trials have a purpose.  God allows them in order that I take the opportunity to go through training in righteousness, learn to listen to God, and grow in the faith God has given me. 

Darkness is not just a time to suffer.  Struggles are intentional and useful.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will remember that God has a reason for my suffering.

How do I usually deal with hard times?

How can I begin to look at times of darkness as valuable?

A Cord of Three Strands

Two are better than one,
   because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
   one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
   and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
   But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
   two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I like to think of myself as pretty self-sufficient, independent and capable.  I don't often need help but when I do, I feel uncomfortable in putting anyone out.  I make it as easy as possible for someone to help me, first doing as much as I can by myself.

I was thinking about this recently when I was replacing the leaf in our dining room table.  I tried to do it by myself, mostly because I was too impatient to wait for one of my family members to help me.  I stood at the end of the table, attempting to pull it apart, but all that I accomplished was to slide the entire table toward me.  I could not do the job by myself.

Life is like replacing the leaf in my table: it is impossible to accomplish alone.  We are designed for community.  Look at the very beginning for evidence.  When God was busy creating all things, there was a definite pattern.  God created, then He look upon His handiwork and declared it good. 

The first time He pronounced something as "not good" was when He looked upon His first image bearer.  "The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone."  (Genesis 2:18)  God then created a helper suitable for Adam and so established the institution of marriage. 

But there's more to it than that.  Just as God the Father exists in relationship with His Son and Spirit, so we are designed to live in relationship with others.  We are not constructed to exist as lone rangers.

So what's the problem?  Why do I find it so hard to call on the help of others?

Pride

Proverbs 16:18 reminds me of the danger of trying to do things by myself.  "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

It reminds me of the time God placed me in a situation where I needed help.  The doctor had just informed me that the triplet babies I carried in my over-burdened womb were in danger of starting the birthing process, resulting in a premature birth at 22 weeks of gestation.  His strict orders included bed rest and no straining whatsoever.  As the mother of an energetic 20-month old girl, this was impossible to accomplish without help.  If I tried to do this by myself, I would have jeopardized the lives of these precious three babies.

Friends, neighbors and family members pitched in to help me follow the doctor's instructions.  Unfortunately, 2 weeks later, my cervix had slightly dilated and my medical team found it necessary to admit me into the hospital.  My husband and I then needed help in caring for our daughter and the body of Christ came through in meeting that need.  It was impossible for us to get through that time alone and many who helped expressed the joy they experienced as they filled our needs.

Receiving help is admittedly more difficult than giving it.  But in humbling myself enough to allow someone to help me gives them a chance to receive the blessing of giving.  The Apostle Paul reminds me that,  ". . . the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”  (Acts 20:35b) 

Without a recipient, no one would ever be able to experience the blessing of giving!

Fear

I fear many things in this life despite the fact that God is in control and He has promised to take care of me.  As a fallen creature, I have a hard time fully grasping that concept and, consequently, I suffer from many fears.

One of the most prevalent is the fear of judgment from others.  I have been hesitant to let others into my life for fear that once they see the real me, they will not like what they see and will reject me.  I can't pretend to be who I think I should be in order to keep up false pretenses that are designed to hide my flaws.  This is exhausting and counterproductive.

Accepting help from others comes with a risk.  It is very likely that I will be judged by others.  But I must remember that, as a fellow fallen sinner, my brothers and sisters in Christ are also on a journey:  A quest of training in godliness, of swimming upstream toward our Savior Jesus Christ whose character for which we strive.   None of us are perfect, and just as God's grace is sufficient for me to survive any situation, I must extend that grace to others by giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Receiving help means I must not expect perfection, but accept the giver as he or she is. 

Pain

I've been let down many times in my life.  Either those I thought cared about me didn't bother to rush to my side in a time of need, or the body of Christ failed to support me in the way I thought they should.  Either way, it is hard to not take these let-downs personally.

Holding onto the hurt of past disappointments can lead to the hesitancy to ask for help again.  If no one came through last time, what makes me think this time will be different?

Romans 12:4-5 reveals that, ". . . . just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

My body has many parts, and sometimes one of my parts lets me down.  I have been suffering from knee pain lately, and it affects the way I do everything throughout my day.  It is frustrating.

In order for my knee to heal, though, I need to give it proper attention.  I have found that I can't simply ignore it, hoping that the pain will go away.  Instead, I need to perform special stretches and exercises.  Simply overlooking my knee does not stimulate healing, but actually prolongs the injury.  Healing can only come by doing the prescribed treatment.

Likewise, members of the body of Christ are many times broken and incomplete, needing special attention and training.

Looking past my pain and asking for help from others gives these "Body parts" the practice needed in order to  stimulate growth in their role as a member of the body of Christ.

The willingness to receive help from an imperfect brother or sister plays a role in the growing process for other believers.

Receiving help is difficult and there are many obstacles that block my ability to ask for assistance.  My pride, fears and pain of past hurts can get in the way.  But as an image bearer who was created for community, God is best glorified when I set aside these barriers, and allow the body of Christ to function as He created it to serve.  

We are stronger together.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I can focus more on the best interest of others instead of on my own fears.

How do I rob others of the joy of giving?

When do I act as a lone ranger instead of including others in my life?