Guilt without Repentance

"What can I do with you, Ephraim?

What can I do with you, Judah?

Your love is like the morning mist,

like the early dew that disappears."

Hosea 6:4

I was so impressed with his seemingly heartfelt apology.  "I'm sorry, Mrs. Boose, for acting disrespectfully towards you.  I know you are trying to help me.  I promise that it won't happen again."  He looked me in the eye.  He seemed so sincere.  A tear came to my eye as I considered the maturity of this 13-year-old boy.  

Then came the next youth event, and there he was again, acting in the same disrespectful way: back-talking, defying my direction, breaking the rules.  Nothing had really changed, even though he had seemed so earnest in his remorseful speech.  In reality, he said what his grandmother had made him say, but the words didn't reach his heart: they were shallow and meaningless.

It is easy to use this same approach in my relationship with God.  I feel guilty for what I've done, I tell Him how sorry I am and that I want to do better, but I don't make the effort to dig deep, laying the root of my sin at the foot of the cross.  I stay on the surface, trying to look good enough, but never trying to completely rid myself of the problem.

It reminds me of the jungle in my backyard.  Our yard backs up to a hill covered in large bushes and trees.  Unfortunately, there are also a lot of naturally occurring blackberry vines, poison ivy and other wild plants that worked together to create a jungle. One year, I declared war on this mass of wild undergrowth.  In February, when most of the plants were dormant, I began pulling out the growth, digging as deep as I could to remove all the roots.  I was amazed at how deep and extensive some of those roots ran.  Even today, nearly 2 years later, I am still waging war on the uncultivated growth due to the seemingly endless nature of the root systems.  Removing the roots is vital in the quest to prevent future growth of the invaders. In the same way, sin runs deep and has complicated roots and in order to remove it from my life, I cannot stay on the surface.

Maybe I don't really know God like I think I do.  I know a lot about His grace, mercy, and love.  I focus on that part of Him because it makes me feel good.  But I can't deny the reality of His other side.  He is a complete picture; perfectly balanced.  In order to truly be able to take Him seriously, I must understand His whole character.

Holy and Just

We once visited a condominium that had a very sensitive smoke alarm.  Either that, or I was a terrible cook.  Whatever the cause, the slightest amount of fumes would set the thing off.  It got so bad that I couldn't even make toast without the alarm sounding off.  Consequently, we removed the batteries, rendering the alarm impotent.

I tend to do this same thing when it comes to sin.  It's not that I like doing things in a way that displeases God, it's just that it's in my nature to adjust and adapt to my sin.  If I continue in a certain behavior, it may be uncomfortable and feel wrong at first, setting off alarms of guilt and shame, but after awhile I'll grow accustomed to it.  I'll adjust my thermostat to accommodate the new temperature.  I'll disconnect my sin meter, rendering it impotent.

God, however, is unable to look the other way when it comes to sin.  As it says in Hosea 7:2, ". . .they do not realize that I remember all their evil deeds.  their sins engulf them; they are always before me."  Knowing that God sees my sin and does not approve should make me quake in my boots.  As John R. W. Stott said, "Nothing will more quickly rid us of laziness and coldness, of hypocrisy, cowardice, and pride that the knowledge that God sees, hears, and takes account." 

While it is true that the blood of Jesus covers my sin, making me appear before God as white as snow, that doesn't make my sin acceptable. The key is for the thought that God is aware of my sin, even though it is forgiven through the sacrifice of Jesus, to act as a catalyst for repentance and change.  I heard it said that repentance is like a boat set on auto-pilot.  If I want to change direction, I must reset the auto-pilot.  I can't turn the wheel manually, trying to force myself to go away from the sin because I am programmed to go toward the area of disobedience.  Instead, I am to refocus my goal through the power of God toward His kingdom and away from that self-centered, fleshly objective.

If I struggle with using language that is harsh and worldly, I can instead fill my mind with pure, lovely and good things, aiming toward the goal of pleasing God with my mouth.  If I set high standards for others, unrealistically expecting godly behavior from them, I can reset those standards for myself, asking God to help me to please Him in all that I do.  If I live with an addiction, whether it's to a drug, food, exercise or a form of entertainment, I can let go of it and replace it with a devotion to God, letting Him fill that hole inside that the addiction never touched. 

Realizing how seriously God takes sin will help me to take the eradication of it in my life more gravely. It's a big enough problem that He needed to send His only Son to His death because of it.  Sin is not something God takes lightly, so neither should I.

God is a holy and just God, making sin abhorrent to Him.  Out of respect for Him, I should adopt the same attitude instead of accepting my sin as a part of life.

Not a Pushover

There was only one rule: Do not eat the fruit from the tree in the center of the garden.  They had plenty to choose from apart from the forbidden fruit.  The garden was perfect and good, as God had created it to exist.  Then temptation entered, casting the seed of doubt into the fertile ground of her mind.  It grew and became a possibility, then a pleasant option, until finally the step was taken, the line was crossed, the relationship was broken.


The family was escaping with their lives, fleeing from the destruction God had promised to an evil, wicked place.  He left them with the specific instruction not to look back to the place they had called their home for so long.   They were to look ahead to the salvation God was providing for them, not to reflect on what they were losing but to rejoice that they were being delivered.  As they ran, she turned to cast one last look behind her, back toward her suffering friends and neighbors.  It was the final act of her life.


The cart rattled along the rocky terrain as it carried the precious load.  A spirit of excitement and jubilation rang through the air as the men completed their significant task.  As they approached the threshing floor, the oxen stumbled, upturning the holy box.  Out of sheer desperation and a desire to protect the cargo, he reached out to steady the load with his hand. He fell to the ground as his heart ceased to beat and the breathe left his lungs.  He was gone.


God is not wimpy.  He does not go back on His word and when He says something, He means it.  He holds me responsible for what I know or have been taught.  Adam knew the fruit was forbidden, but he ate it anyway.  Lot's wife had been told not to look back, but she did it anyway.  David, Uzzah and the other men had at their disposal the instructions of how to transport the ark the way God had instructed so that no human hand would come into contact with it, but he touched it anyway.


In each example, the offender received harsh treatment.  There was no second chance, no time to negotiate or no moment of indecision.  God's action was immediate and authoritative.  There was no question as to how God felt about his directive being ignored.  The garden was barred, her flesh turned to salt, his life was taken.  Those are not the actions of a wimpy or indecisive God.  So why do I take His law so lightly?  


Perhaps its because I think I'm exempt because of grace, or that the God of the Old Testament no longer exists.  If I do, I am only fooling myself.  God does not play around, and I should not play around with Him.


God is dangerous and loving.  He's a lion and a lamb.  He is fire and water.  I can't accept one and deny the other.  Therefore, negotiating with God or ignoring Him are not safe options.  If I want to live a long and happy life, I will give God the respect and honor He deserves as the Creator of all things.


Reading the Bible, then, becomes a vital exercise in action, not just study.  Praying turns into a time of listening instead of only talking.  Living is transformed into an act of worship as a substitute for simply existing.  There is no condemnation for me as a follower of Christ, but I must always remember that the God who loves me takes His commands seriously.


God is not a pushover.  He is does not take disobedience lightly, so neither should I.

Jealous

She drove hundreds of miles through the night in a blind rage in order to confront the other woman.  Her jealousy impelled her to commit a desperate act of evil proportions.  Crimes of passion usually begin with a betrayal or infidelity of some kind.  Envy then rears it's ugly head as anger and resentment take over.  

God is not jealous as a woman is jealous of her lover's new partner or a child is envious of a playmate's toy.  No, God is jealous for my attention.  As His created being, I was made for Him.    It makes sense, then, that I must make God a part of everything.  He is worthy of all of my attention.  

If I truly understand His deep longing for meaningful relationships with His children, I would make it my goal to grow closer to Him and to earnestly seek to know Him better.  If I know the purpose for my existence lies in Him, I would make Him an integral part of even the simplest parts of my life.  If I comprehend how important I am to Him, I would place Him in the forefront of my mind throughout the day.  As Thomas Chalmers said, "Amid all my forgetfulness of Him, He never forgets me."

God is jealous for my attention so I would be wise to give it to Him.

Guilt can be a good thing when it points out where I am wrong and inspires me to change my course as I turn away from sin.  But by itself, it serves no purpose.  In order for me to take my sin seriously, I must learn how God is a holy and just God, how He's not a pushover, and that He wants my full attention.  Then I will be on the path to truly understanding my need for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will never take sin lightly.

How do I ignore the dangerous part of God in the way I live my life?

When do I assume God will give me a pass when I'm doing something I know is wrong?