True Worship

Today's post is an excerpt from my new book, 52 Days of Grace, a devotional designed to help you draw closer in your relationship with the Lord as you become more aware of His grace in your life.

True Worship

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."             (Romans 12:1-2) 

How do you worship?  In this country, when we hear the word “worship”, visions of musicians and singers leading us in songs of praise to God comes to mind.  But this passage tells us that worship is much more than that.  It is the constant act of offering our flesh, the very thing that can work to separate us from God, as a living sacrifice to Him.  The secret to true worship of God is giving our own desires continually over to Him so that He can use us as He wills.

This means when I feel my irritation level rise when dealing with difficult people, I need to immediately go to God and give Him my pride and allow Him to love them through me.  Or when the traffic is eating away my time and I feel my stress levels rise, I give Him my desire to control my own destiny and submit myself to the position my Father has placed me in at that moment, trusting Him with my time.  Or when tension mounts in my home, I will drop my own selfish point-of-view and ask God for His, allowing me to see the hurt that lies beneath the harsh words.  All of these scenarios are forms of worship of God.  All of them result in God’s work and thus glorification of His Name.

The world and our fleshly desires are constantly pulling us toward them, but a love of these things douses the richness and miracle of the closeness of God’s Spirit within us.  Let us instead invite God into every aspect of our lives, resulting in true worship that pleases Him.

Worship is more than singing, but a constant surrendering of our own desires.

How are you vulnerable to adopting the ways of the world?

When do you easily let your fleshly desires rule instead of submitting yourself to your heavenly Father?

Heavenly Father,

It is easy for me to think I can only worship You in a formal, corporate setting.  Your Word, however, tells me that each moment I live provides an opportunity to give praise to You.  Help me to constantly be aware of the worldly and fleshly influences on my life, and help me to choose You instead.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen

We are constantly receiving worldly messages telling us we are good enough, or that we have what it takes to succeed.  In truth, God's message runs counter to this message of self-fulfillment and inner-goodness.  

If you'd like to know more about God's grace and the role that grace plays in your faith, pick up a copy of 52 Days of Grace today, available on Amazon.  It's daily readings based on Paul's letter to the Romans will help you more fully appreciate your utter dependence on the grace of God.

  

True Love

"And the king was deeply moved

and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept.

And as he went, he said,

'O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom!

Would to God I had died for you,

O Absalom, my son, my son!'"

2 Samuel 18:33

You couldn't get much dirtier than that.  The king's son conspired to steal the throne, going so far as to deceive his own father as part of the scheme.  Instead of supporting his dad in his God-given role as leader of the nation of Israel, Absalom became power-hungry, stealing the hearts of the people away from David. (2 Samuel 15-18)

In such a scenario as this, I would expect the father to be angry at his son, thinking of him as an enemy.  David, however, mirrored the heart of God in the way he thought of this conspirator.  If Absalom had been any other man, he would be considered as David's sworn enemy.  Since the conniver was the king's own son, however, David had great compassion and desired mercy for him.  This is the heart of God toward me.

Sworn Enemy

You couldn't get much dirtier than that.  The Maker of heaven and earth who so graciously provided all that I need to live only wanted one thing from me: My heart.  Still, this image-bearer chose to follow my own way, doing what pleased myself and hardly ever thinking about the One who made it all possible.  

Instead of grateful praise, I whine and complain about what I don't like, fretting over all that is difficult.  Instead of a thankful heart, a cold, hard stone grows in its place.  Instead of humble acceptance of my place, I hunger for power and glory.  Nothing infuriates His just nature more.

My unfaithfulness makes me God's sworn enemy.  All the ways I fall short of His glorious standard put me on His "most wanted" list.  I have proved my loyalty to self in the path I choose to follow.  (Colossians 1:21,Romans 5:10)

There are many ways my mouth gives praise to God, extolling His virtues and singing His praises while my actions tell another story.  I say I trust Him to provide for all my needs but I never give Him a chance to supply those necessities, always rushing to draw from my own resources instead.  In my desire to avoid even a moment of want, I am denying my heavenly Father one of His greatest joys. (Matthew 7:9-11)

I tell others that nothing is impossible with God but when the seemingly impossible situation rears it's ugly head in my own life, I panic, letting worry seize my heart.  My refusal to see with eyes of faith reveals the true state of my wayward heart. (Philippians 4:6-7)

I speak words of faith, saying I love Jesus and desire to follow Him.  Unfortunately, I rarely spend time with Him and give Him little cooperation as He attempts to transform my life.  In my desire to retain control of my own life, I deny His lordship and end up working against Him. (Luke 11:23)

My sin makes me an enemy of God.

Grief

It hurt His heart.  The people He had created to walk with Him in the garden had betrayed Him, turning instead to their own ways, preferring the company of each other to His, looking elsewhere to find true satisfaction.  His intention was to enjoy perfect fellowship with His image bearers.  Instead, His heart grieved to see how wayward they truly were. (Genesis 6:5-6)

God mourns the gulf sin carves out between myself and Him.  It hurts His heart to see the ways I prefer my own comfort over the joy that comes from obedience to Him.  He grieves over the loss of intimacy that follows when I allow fear to rule my heart.  He mourns what could have been when He watches me turn away as I approach the unknown, preferring instead to stick with what I know.

In the same way that David grieved the loss of his son Absalom even though he was an enemy, so God's heart hurts over the chasm my sin creates.  Such is His sorrow that He went to great lengths to repair the breach.  Even though He knew it would cause great suffering, His plan of redemption included asking His Son to give up His divinity for a time, taking on human form and experiencing all the suffering known to man. (Philippians 2:6-8)

What a beautiful picture of God's amazing love.  Instead of casting me aside as an ungrateful reject who is unworthy of receiving such a gift, God's love compelled Him to commit the unspeakable act of sacrificing His own innocent Son in my place.  While I deserve death, Jesus did not.  Nonetheless, He died so that I can live.  Once I fully comprehend this love, I will understand more greatly the heart of a God who would grieve His children's sin.   

My sin causes a broken bond that grieves the heart of God.

Sacrifice

The mother stepped between her child and the gunman, shielding the one she loved from harm.  The husband, at great risk to his own life, snatched his wife from the path of the oncoming train, saving her from certain death.  The child took pity on his little puppy, courageously standing up to the stray dog that attacked him.

While it is understandable when a human makes such a sacrifice for a child of her own womb, or for a wife who has been good to her husband, or for a cute dog who is loyal to the end, it is hard to imagine doing such a thing for an enemy.  

This is a picture of the sacrifice Jesus made for me.  While I was still in my sin, Jesus bore the penalty I deserved upon His own shoulders.  Before I even realized the offense of my own flesh to a holy God, Jesus paid the price for these transgressions.  Despite the fact that my sin makes me God's enemy, He paid the ultimate price to set me free from the wages of that sin.  (Romans 6:23, Romans 5:7-8)

Such love, once completely known, casts away all traces of fear. (1 John 4:16-18)  No longer do I need worry that I'm not good enough.  Instead, I can fully embrace the forgiveness that is mine through Christ Jesus.  

The fear of rejection that plagues my heart can be discarded, replaced with a security that comes from knowing I am fully accepted through Jesus as a child of God, given a firm place in His family that includes an eternal inheritance. (1 John 3:1, Romans 8:16-18)

The sacrifice of Christ gives me a bold confidence to approach the throne of grace.  Instead of feeling inadequate or unworthy of such a honor, I can go before the Lord whenever I am in need, knowing that I will receive all that is necessary to carry on.  (Hebrews 4:16)

The love of God is such that He sent His one and only Son to die a sinner's death so I could live abundantly and eternally.

The love David demonstrated for his son Absalom is hard to fathom, especially as I live in such a cold, hard world.  This brand of love, however, mirrors the heart of God.  Even though my sin makes me His sworn enemy, the Lord grieves over the gulf my sin forms between He and I.  In an unspeakable act of love, He made a way to cross this wide chasm by sacrificing His own Son in my place, repairing the bond He cherishes so much.  This is true love.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can consider the love the Father lavishes on us.

How do I take such a precious gift for granted?

When am I afraid to step into the presence of God?  

Obedience Trumps Sacrifice

"But Samuel replied,

'What is more pleasing to the LORD:

your burnt offerings and sacrifices

or your obedience to his voice?

Listen!

Obedience is better than sacrifice,

and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.'"

1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

I wouldn't do it.  There is no way that I would spend my free time after school cleaning the house.  Even though my mom left a note for me giving those specific directions, I chose to ignore her wishes, deciding instead to hang out with my friend and watch t.v.  To make up for my indiscretion, I took the time to make a nice dinner.  You see, as a teen I liked to cook.  I didn't, however, enjoy cleaning.  I figured the luxury of coming home to a home cooked meal would soften my mother's resolve, encouraging her to overlook the fact that I had blatantly disregarded her orders.

As a sinful being, it's easy for me to tailor the commands God has given me in the same way that I did with my mom's instructions, picking and choosing to comply to only what suits my tastes and desires.  Then, to make up for my rebellion and stubbornness, I try to butter God up with my exuberant offerings.  This is Saul's sin.  He tried to tweak God's commands to fit his circumstances, relying only on his own point-of-view instead of trusting God in His omnipotent perspective.  When I follow suit, I may think I'm on solid footing, but there is a reason why God values obedience more than sacrifice.

His Plan

One sunny day my daughters and I were walking our dogs through our busy neighborhood.  As we approached a wetlands area, the road narrowed and the sidewalk veered dangerously close to the speeding cars.  Ahead, I spied a young woman running with her Pit Bull.  Taking note of the breed of dog and keeping in mind that my two lab mixes tend to bristle at such types, I made the decision to cross the road.  "Let's cross to the other side."  Immediately, we all made our way to the far side of the road except my youngest.  Defiantly, she decided this would be a good time to conduct some desensitizing training for our older canine.  As a result, the young woman was forced to run down the center of the road to keep her dog from interacting with ours.  Thankfully, there was a lull in traffic which allowed her to do so.

What my daughter didn't perceive when making her rash decision was the woman's anxiety in encountering our dogs.  I noticed her reaction when she took sight of us with our two canines; she immediately stiffened up and looked for a way out.  My baby-girl, however, didn't perceive this bit of information. The other factor my daughter didn't consider was the close proximity of the road, leaving no room to pass at a safe distance.  This close call was a good opportunity to teach a lesson in obedience and the importance of trusting your parent's leadership and insight.

In the same way a child must learn to obey without question, realizing the parent has knowledge and understanding she has not, I must recognize God's sovereignty and complete comprehension of every situation.  Since His plan is unknown to me and all the variables involved are fully beyond my grasp, I must trust that He knows what He's doing while I haven't a clue.

When He allows a dreaded illness into my life, for instance, I may feel like my suffering is without purpose.  As I wallow in self-pity, feeling sorry for myself because the doctors don't know what is wrong, I can remind myself that everything God allows into my life will work together for my good.  Nothing happens without reason and especially the hard times serve the purpose of forming me into the image of Christ.  (Romans 8:28-29)

When my life seems to be dragging along and it appears I'm going nowhere fast, I can be assured that God is working out the details according to His perfect timing.  When He has deemed me ready and when all the necessary pieces are in place, He will move things along in accordance with His plan. (Isaiah 40:31, Proverbs 3:5-6)

When my financial outlook is bleak, I may feel like I have no hope.  As I submit to Him, however, I discover lessons about His perfect provision and learn to trust Him in a way I never before have.  Without the security of my bank account, I have been given the opportunity to see God provide in mysterious and miraculous ways, teaching me that He truly knows my needs and is much better equipped to give me what is necessary for life than am I. (Matthew 6:31-33)

Obedience to God's tender leadership is better than any sacrifice I could make because His plan is always better than mine.

He is God

Parting the waters of the Red Sea.

Creating the seen out of the unseen, forming all things from nothing.

Delivering a new kind of food specially made for His chosen people.

Curing the sick, raising the dead, healing the lame.

Softening the hardened heart.

These are God-sized tasks that only He is capable of accomplishing.  There is nothing that is impossible for Him.  Still, I often limit God in what I expect of Him.

I'm not the only one who possesses this weakness.  Moses, who knew God so personally that he was considered to be His friend, (Exodus 33:11) also doubted God's mighty power and scope of abilities.  When leading the people through the difficult time of wandering in the desert, the multitudes starting whining again.  While all their needs had been met, they craved meat and were not shy about voicing this desire. (Numbers 11)  

When Moses incredulously approached the Lord with their unreasonable request, himself adding some complaints of his own about the burden of leading such an ungrateful lot, God replied that he would give them meat.  He told Moses to tell the people that, "the LORD will give you meat, and you will have to eat it. . . You will eat it for a whole month until you gag and are sick of it." (Numbers 11:18, 20 NLT)  Moses, unable to figure out how God would supply such bounty said, "Even if we butchered all our flocks and herds, would that satisfy them?  Even if we caught all the fish in the sea, would that be enough?"  (v 22 NLT)

God's response told the doubting leader everything he needed to know, "Is the Lord's arm too short?" (v 23a)  In other words, is there anything He cannot do?  Is there any job too big for Him, any dilemma outside of His grasp, any need He is unable to meet?  No.  God is perfectly able to give me what I need, solve any problem I am facing, rescue me from even the most impossible of predicaments. Therefore, I can trust Him enough to do as He says.

Obedience to God's tender leadership is better than any sacrifice I could make because He is God and it is not my desire to limit His omnipotent power in any way.

Faith

All the good deeds, best efforts, or noble intentions can't please God.  My dedication to going to church regularly, serving dependably or studying diligently won't make God's heart sing.  Even my constant attention to Him, my desire to speak of Him often or to testify of His great works will not generate as much pleasure for God as this one intangible. 

Faith.  It is that belief that even though I have no physical proof or tangible evidence of God's existence, I still choose to believe He is who He says He is and is capable of doing all that He has promised.  Despite the apparent lack of a guarantee that everything will turn out okay in the end, faith gives me the hope to believe just that impossibility.

Without my blind trust in a God I can neither see nor touch, there is no way to please Him. (Hebrews 11:6)  But my faith is not in word only.  It may be easy for me to say I believe God will deliver me from my troubles, or that He will provide for my needs, or He will draw a calloused heart toward Him, but talk is cheap.

The only evidence that exists of the authenticity of my faith is found in my actions.  Do I cower in fear when danger draws near, or do I step forward boldly in the face of difficulty, knowing without a doubt that my God will come through on my behalf?  

Do I waver in my resolve when confronting the anemic state of my bank account in comparison to the mammoth strength of my debt, or do I sleep soundly each night, knowing without a doubt that my God will provide all I need?  

Do I observe my wayward loved one with skepticism, wondering if a leopard can change his spots, or do I have the freedom to bear with him in love, knowing without a doubt that my God will usher His child into His kingdom?

James tells me that, "For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so faith apart from works is dead." (James 2:26)  My faith is only real faith if I act on it, trusting God enough to operate the details of my life as if what I believe but can't see is, in fact, a reality.  In order to prove to God that I trust Him, I must act like what I profess to be true as if it were true.  I must back up my mere words with action.  I must live as if what I believe God will do has already come to pass.

Obedience to God's tender leadership is better than any sacrifice I could make because it proves my faith as real.

Saul took matters into his own hands, thinking his way was better suited for his current situation than was God's.  When he did so, Saul did as I often do; he thought his sacrifice would make up for his disobedience and rebellion against God's specific instructions.  There is a reason why obedience is far superior to any act of surrender I could make.  When I do as God says, I am acknowledging His superior plan, recognizing His omnipotent power, and showing that my faith is authentic.  For these reasons, obedience trumps sacrifice every time.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to do as He says.

When do I think my plan is better simply because it is visible and known?

How am I guilty of doubting God's good intentions for me because I'm afraid of the unknown? 

Done Foolishly

"'You have done a foolish thing,' Samuel said.

'You have not kept the command

the LORD your God gave you;

if you had,

he would have established your kingdom

over Israel for all time.'"

1 Samuel 13:13

Saul had good reason to take matters into his own hands and make offerings to the Lord without Samuel.  His troops were scattering, the courage of his men was waning, and the enemy's forces were mustering, gathering more and more strength with each passing hour.  He was the leader:  He must make a decision!

Adding to the justification of his resolve to cease waiting and start acting was the fact that Samuel did not show up when he said he would.  Saul felt he had no choice but to go ahead without the judge and prophet.  He would never attempt such a feat as fighting the Philistines without first seeking God's favor.  Therefore, it seemed he was left without an option; it was time to offer up the sacrifice himself. (1 Samuel 13:1-10)

It is easy to do what seems right and what looks like the wise choice, but to completely disregard God's command.  If I am to avoid this pitfall of Saul, I had better stop acting foolishly.

According to Man's Wisdom

God helps those who help themselves.

Don't worry, be happy.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

It seems right to my common-sense-way-of-thinking that God probably does want me to make an effort in solving my own problems, to simply replace my worry with a smile, to save as much money as possible, and to keep my house, belongings and body clean as a way to get closer to Him.  

If I ask God for wisdom, however, and study His Word, I will find something quite different.  In reality, God gives strength to those who wait on Him (Isaiah 40:31), the only anecdote to worry is prayer (Philippians 4:6-7), a wise investment is one that is made in Him and His kingdom (Luke 12:16-21, Matthew 6:19-21), and godliness comes through self-sacrifice and seeking God and His kingdom above all things (Romans 12:1, Matthew 6:33)

When stress is building and I'm looking for something to grasp onto, it's easy for me to reach out to what is convenient and readily available.  If the advice seems right, I'm ready to jump in with both feet, accepting the wise words as truth.  

Since it doesn't seem to be working to wait on God's timing and I'm wondering if He might have forgotten about me.  I'm tempted to find my own solution and start making things happen.   Or, I tirelessly search for different treatments to cure what ails me, constantly trying alternate remedies and seeking the advice of medical professionals, never once committing my health to the Lord who is the Great Healer. (Jeremiah 17:14)  Or I constantly hear messages about smart, financial investments and I start believing the only responsible thing is for me to go after what I need, forgetting that I have a Father who already knows what is necessary for my life.  (Matthew 6:31-33)

I am acting a fool when I live my life according to man's wisdom instead of God's.

Disregarding God's Commands

I know what God said, but it doesn't really apply to this particular situation.

God will understand.  It's just this once. . .

I usually don't but I have no other choice.

I can come up with a million justifications for my rebellious actions but when God sees my unwillingness to do as He has commanded, it's only called one thing:  Disobedience.   Therefore, it should be my highest desire to pay attention to what God teaches to me and to do as He says.

When a coworker stabs me in the back, jeopardizing my job, my natural response is to defend my reputation and preserve my position.   If I honestly seek the Lord in this situation, however, I might find that it is His desire that I respond in love, graciously forgiving my attacker and letting God use this trial in a way that glorifies Him.  Handling the crisis my way might have saved my job, but a prime opportunity to further God's kingdom and produce godly fruit was lost. (Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 3:8)

When I'm laboring over the tax forms, stressing about all the money I owe the federal government, a friend shows me a way out.  As I ponder her suggestion I realize it seems like a fail-safe plan.  Making the necessary adjustments would save me thousands of dollars in taxes, but would cost me much more in my relationship with the Lord.  (Matthew 22:21, Romans 13:6-7)

When I pass by the homeless people sprawled out on the sidewalk, I feel disgusted at the way they are ruining the atmosphere of the downtown area.  When I get home, I am so bothered that I write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper, demanding action by the authorities to "clean up the mess."  My way of thinking may garner much support, but it flies in the face of God's desire for me to love the unlovable and reach out to those in need.  (Matthew 5:42-48, Luke 10:25-37)

I'm acting a fool when I disregard what God has taught me through His Word.

Led by Desperation

The birds cowered in the bush, listening to the sound of the hunter quietly approaching.  One of the pheasants grew anxious, finding it hard to stay put.  Even though her friends implored her to hunker down and stay in the safety of their cover, this nervous Nellie suddenly fluttered out of the tall grasses, unable to sit there while danger lurked so close.  She must have felt doing something was better than doing nothing.  Unfortunately, she paid for such a foolish decision with her life.

This tragic scene in the movie Bambi always touches my heart.  I can relate to the little pheasant who wanted to fly to safety, far away from the predator who sought her life.  I often share her faulty line of thinking, believing that doing something, is better than just sitting there like a lump on a log!

Godly decisions are not made in a state of panic and desperation is not a wise counselor.  Instead of letting my anxious heart be my guide, I would exhibit wisdom if I first took the time to seek God's counsel. (2 Chronicles 18:4, James 1:5)

Recognizing God as the sovereign planner of my life, granting Him dominion over my days, means I'll watch for Him to guide me down the path He designed for me to follow.  (Hebrews 12:1, Proverbs 3:5-6)  

This probably means my decisions may look foolish to those who are in the world.  Most people won't understand why I do what I do.  Some may even call me irresponsible or just plain stupid for following such a path.  In the end, however, I will be glad that I paid attention to God's leading and went where He called me to go.

I'm acting a fool when I let desperation be my guide.

I can relate to Saul when he felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.  In the stress of the moment, he made the decision he thought was best.  Unfortunately, he leaned on his own understanding, disregarded God's commands, and let desperation lead him  Consequently, he lost favor with the Lord.  If I want to avoid a similar result, I would be wise to let God's Word be my guide, to pay close attention to what He teaches me, and to follow Him and Him alone.  In these ways, I will avoid acting as foolishly as Saul did.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can seek God in all my ways, even when I'd rather take the first advice that sounds good to me.

When do I disregard God's ways as if they aren't important?

How do I let desperation be my guide? 

  

Act First

"The angel of the LORD appeared to 

Manoah's wife and said, 

'Even though you have been unable to have children,

you will soon become pregnant 

and give birth to a son.

So be careful;

you must not drink wine

or any other alcoholic drink

nor eat any forbidden food.

You will become pregnant and give birth to a son,

and his hair must never be cut.

For he will be dedicated to God

as a Nazirite from birth.

He will begin to rescue Israel from the Philistines.'"

Judges 13:3-5 NLT

"I'll believe it when I see it."

This is the principle by which I often live.  Manoah's wife, however, was called to live by faith in much the same way I am called.  When she received the communication from God's messenger, there was no proof that what he said would come to pass.  In fact, when Manoah heard the news from his dearly beloved, he asked the Lord to send the angel again so that he could ask some questions; kind of a confirmation that what his wife had said was true.

When the angel did return, the astonished man thought he was perhaps a prophet or some other kind of man sent by God.  When the angel returned to heaven in the fire of the burnt offering that reached up toward the sky, Manoah and his wife each fell on their face, humbled and quite terrified by the fact that they'd come in contact with an angel of God.

As powerful as this experience was, it still took faith for this woman to change her lifestyle in compliance with the message in the hope that she would soon carry a child.  There was no evidence that what the angel had said was true; no quickening in her womb as a sign of what was to come, no physical verification that her time of infertility was about to end.  Instead, she had to obey God's instructions by faith, trusting that what He said would come about.

In the same way, I am called to live by faith not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) In order to prove to God that I trust what He has told me, I will need to act, taking steps to obey without tangible evidence that what He has promised will come to pass.  I must proceed as if God is faithful to do what He said He would do, because He is.

Love

In the world in which I live, love is given with the expectation that I will receive love in return.  I love those who love me.  In God's kingdom where Jesus is king, however, love is what drives everything.  Love melts the hardest of hearts, binds together unlikely bedfellows and tears down the most well-crafted walls.  Love is the currency by which my salvation is bought, my place in God's family is secured and my sins are forgiven. (John 3:16, 1 John 3:1, Psalm 103:11-12)    Without it, no amount of good deeds or righteous work will matter. (1 Corinthians 13)

Therefore, since I am so well-loved, I am called to love. (1 John 4:19)  Sometimes it feels as if I have nothing left to give.  In such times, it takes faith to respond in love to the one who constantly treats me with disdain, or to give a friend another chance, or to turn the other cheek, opening myself up to even more abuse.  

When love is the last thing I feel, it is then that I draw from the deep well that God has poured in me.  When it seems that love is nowhere to be found it takes faith to open up the floodgates of my soul and let the compassion and kindness God has stored there spill out.  When my heart senses only pain and suffering, I must believe that God can use me as a doorway of His love.

Mother Teresa knew a little something about love.  She learned through her life's work of reaching out to the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, in the worst areas of India.  Those who were shunned and forgotten became the center of her attention.  There, in the slums of Calcutta, she found the source of this love that flowed through her.  She said, "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt, but only more love."

God's love is not limited by my weaknesses, my inabilities or my shallow understanding of it's mysteries.  Instead, His love is a never-ending source, a bottomless well that supplies my days.  Since I cannot touch, see or often times feel this love, I must trust God at His word, believing that when I step forward in faith, His love will flow through me.  (Ephesians 3:16-19,Lamentations 3:22-23,Isaiah 58:11, Psalm 136)

It takes faith to commit to loving those who are not always easy to love, believing that God's love will never fail.

Sacrifice

It sounds like such a selfless act devoid of any pleasure.  To sacrifice means to give up something valuable in order to bring about a certain outcome, secure a particular purpose or reach a specific goal.  It involves giving up one thing in order help someone or do something else.

Parents often make sacrifices for their children, giving up certain activities that would take them away from their family, forgoing once-pleasurable pursuits to make way for more appropriate pastimes, or to do without certain luxuries to make room in the budget for the necessities of child-rearing.  As a parent, I am not unaware of sacrifice.

In my walk with God, however, I am reticent to give up much.  Instead, I often spend a lot of my time trying to preserve what I think is valuable.  To follow my Shepherd, though, it means I'll need to let go of many things that threaten to overshadow His guiding presence.  

Sometimes its my possessions that get in the way, keeping me from truly living with abandon.

If I'm to hold Him as most valuable, I must be willing to give up things that get in the way without the assurance of compensation.  

Other times it may be necessary to give up destructive friendships that fail to draw me closer to God.  Instead, these relationships tend to work as a distraction, tempting me to live as the world does or to question the very foundation of my faith.  If He's my number one relationship, I must be willing to let go of certain people without any guarantee of restoration.

Then there are times when I must release my desire to control, letting God choose for me instead of insisting on getting my own way.  If I want Him to be Lord of my life, I must be willing to let Him have His way without the security of knowing what the future holds.

In each of these instances, it takes faith to give up what I can see in order to receive the unknown God has saved up for me.  No matter how good it may be, I still must believe enough to take the step to release what I have in order to collect what He will give me.  It's kind of like letting go of the rope as I hang over the edge of a cliff so that I can grasp a hold of the hand of the rescue personnel reaching down to save me.  There is no guarantee that I won't fall to my death.  Instead, I must grab hold to my savior by faith, trusting that he will haul me up to safety.  

It takes faith to sacrifice what I have to grab hold of what I can't see, believing that God will supply more than I could ask or imagine.  (Ephesians 3:20)

Forward

The stinging in my eye was unbearable, causing tears to flow and inevitably, my nose to run.  As I attempted to accomplish the tasks on my list of things-to-do, I closed my eyes to slightly relieve the discomfort of the unseen foreign object in my left eye.  Maybe I scratched my eye, I thought.  I should have been more careful when cleaning out the garage.  I guess a fleck of dirt must have scraped across my eye.

As I attempted to negotiate the steps with my eyes closed, I realized how much slower I walked when I couldn't see where my next step would land.  I proceeded cautiously, afraid there was some hidden danger even though I knew the layout of the house like the back of my hand.  Still, without the benefit of my eyesight, I couldn't be sure.

This experience reminds me of what it's like to walk by faith.  It is hard to move forward into the darkness, not being sure of what lies ahead.  I tend to take baby-steps, shuffling forward timidly, insecure about where the Lord might be leading me.  Instead of trusting Him boldly, I'm afraid to move from the spot where I find myself rooted.

It takes faith to take God at His word and believe that He can use me in a way that is foreign.  If I'm unsure of how to teach a class of high school girls, I may hang back, waiting to see if someone else steps forward to accept the challenge.  Meanwhile, God keeps reminding me that He equips the called, not the other way around.

It takes faith to quit my job with no guarantees of a better prospect, believing that God will provide for what He is leading me to do.  If I'm afraid to live so recklessly I might hesitate, wondering how wise it is to live so irresponsibly.  Meanwhile, God keeps reminding me that He is my Father who knows my needs and will faithfully supply them.  

It takes faith to let go of my fear when facing a life-threatening illness, believing that God's sovereign plan will bring good out of the suffering.  If I listen to the doctor's prognosis, I might be tempted to mourn my circumstances and all the misery I might soon experience.  Meanwhile, God keeps reminding me that He created my body and is perfectly capable of healing what ails me.  

It takes faith to move forward into the darkness believing that God is right there by my side lighting a path for my feet.

Just as Samson's mother acted in faith when she prepared for the birth of a son she thought she'd never have, I can also take God at His word, believing Him enough to act before I have evidence of the outcome.  I can love without reciprocation, sacrifice with no guarantees, and move forward blindly.  In each instance, my faith is proved true when I leap before I can see the ground where I will land.  After all, faith without deeds is dead.  (James 2:26)

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to love those who don't love me.

When do I hold onto things as a kind of security blanket?

How is my faith proved counterfeit by my unwillingness to step forward into the darkness?   

New Life

"'I am the gate;

whoever enters through me will be saved.

They will come in and go out,

and find pasture.

The thief comes only to steal

and kill

and destroy;

I have come that they may have life,

and have it to the full."

John 10:9-10

I have missed meeting with you here on Writings on the Doorframe where we dig through God's precious and life-giving Word together.  You see, I have been on an incredible journey of life and love over the past couple of weeks.  Today, it is time to tell the story.

All across the land of the free, there are people who are living in bondage.  This is not a spiritual bondage, although it does touch them spiritually.  It is not an emotional bondage even though their emotions are moved.  Instead, this is a physical form of slavery in which the person is bound to a machine; a contraption that ultimately keeps them alive but also dictates their weekly schedule and restricts their ability to live a life that most of us take for granted.  This slave master is kidney failure, and the shackles are known as dialysis.

While this process of filtering one's blood and essentially doing the job of the kidney by removing waste, salt and extra water, maintaining safe levels of certain chemicals, and helping to control blood pressure does save the patient's life, it is far from flexible.  In order to keep healthy, the patient must endure these four-hour treatments three times a week as well as restrict fluid intake and maintain a healthy diet that restricts salt, potassium and phosphorus.  All in all, the life of someone with kidney failure is not easy.

Journey

Almost a year ago, I began a journey that would lead me through a roller coaster of emotions, but would ultimately give me a greater vision of God's sovereignty and His amazing plan for each of our lives.  It was last year that I first learned that my neighbor, Adrian, was seeking a living donor.  He had been diagnosed with kidney failure and began dialysis about a year-and-a-half before.  As soon as the news of the search came to my attention, I knew in my heart that God wanted me to donate my kidney to him.

Since I was a little girl, I possessed this hidden desire to donate an organ.  I couldn't explain it, and didn't share it with another soul, but I wanted to help someone out in this way.  Once I heard about the plight of this husband of a giving wife and father of two special girls who had grown up in our afterschool program, I began the process to donate my kidney.

After undergoing rigorous testing and being approved as a match for Adrian, we were scheduled for surgery in August.  This, however, proved to be a false start when God suddenly pulled the plug at the last minute due to an antibody Adrian developed toward my blood.  After many tears and prayers, my neighbor and I entered into a kidney exchange program through the MUSC Transplant Center.  

Within a few months, a match was found for my neighbor, and one for me as well.  As part of this complicated network, nine people in all were able to receive new life as part of the chain to which Adrian and I were connected.  My faith grew as I witnessed the better plan God had unveiled.

As a result, I have been recovering from surgery for the past few weeks and have been given a glimpse into the important work many dedicated people do to help save the lives of many every day.  I was also struck by the magnitude of the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to give me new life.  When He gave His life on the cross, suffering for hours under the brutal treatment of Roman soldiers whose hearts had grown cold and were accustomed to inflicting pain, He willingly gave of Himself so that I could live.  He exchanged His perfect life for my sinful one.  He took the punishment I earned through my sin so that I could live in relationship with my heavenly Father forever.  This Truth struck me in a fresh way after the surgery.

Sacrifice

As I lay in the hospital bed the first night after surgery, the pain set in.  My attentive nurse had just administered some medication and left me in peace for a time.  As I lay in the dark, listening to my dear husband's even breathing as he slept on the couch beside me, I waited for the pain to subside.  Clutching my pillow, I realized that I'd been wounded in a similar way as had my Savior.  

Instead of suffering alone, however, I'd been meticulously cared for by my husband as well as the medical staff.  My wounds were cleaned and closed, my pain was controlled and I was given every comfort possible to promote my healing.

Jesus, on the other hand, was left to suffer alone as He struggle to breathe while hanging on the cross.  The thousands of lacerations, puncture wounds and abrasions were left to bleed openly.  Every movement increased His pain until He must have nearly fainted from the intensity of it all.  Still, He chose to enter into such an act of sacrifice so that I could live.  So that you could live.  So that all who believe in His precious Name would be saved. (Romans 10:9)

While I did choose to sacrifice my kidney so another may live, it is not this act of surrender and obedience that really matters in the end.  The sacrifice that truly makes a difference in the life of any man or woman is the one that Jesus made as He died a sinner's death.  In so doing, He made a way for each of us to enjoy a full, rich life as we live in relationship with Him.  He also made a way for us to dwell in His presence forever in the eternal home which He is currently preparing for us.  (John 14:2)

Bought

I have met quite a few amazing people over the past year.  Each is dedicated to making a difference in the lives of those who are living in the bondage of kidney failure.  None, however, are as dedicated as is Christ to freeing us from the shackles that hold us to our sin nature.  I see these two, kidney donation and Jesus sacrificing His life, as one and the same in many ways.  Both give new life.  Both involve the sacrifice of one for the good of another.  Both are a kind of exchange.

Therefore, as I went through this process, it was always the spiritual new life that was more important to me.  The physical life that would come through the new kidney was merely an illustration of the new spiritual life that I hoped would come as a result.  

Here's my kidney after it was removed from my body and before it was shipped to it's new owner.

I wanted to send this message to the recipient who lives on the other side of the country.

Here is Sara preparing my kidney for transport.  She is my precious kidney coordinator who works hard to hammer out all the details involved with pulling off a successful kidney transplant.  She is a gem!

Here we are the day after surgery: Adrian, Sara and I.

I look forward to meeting with you here at Writings on the Doorframe in the days to come.  It is my hope that what I have shared of my experience touches you in a powerful way as you realize the amazing sacrifice Jesus made so that you can enjoy new life.  This abundant life is similar to what Adrian and countless others are now tasting as they enjoy the benefits paid for by another.   As you walk through each day, taking each breathe in wonder with what God has graciously given to you, may you live with abandon to the Giver of New life:  Jesus Christ our Lord!