The Coveted Broken Heart

"You do not delight in sacrifice,

or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart you,

God,

will not despise."

Psalm 51:16-17

He wants this from me, yet I'm unsure of it's qualities.  My Father desires humility, brokenness, a repentant heart above my best efforts at working for Him.  He wants me to both be sorry for my sin, not taking His grace and mercy for granted but realizing how much I depend on them, and willing to be used by Him despite my brokenness.

While I try to wrap my mind around this idea of brokenness, I wanted to know how it looks as it is played out in someone's life.  Here are a few examples.

Ruth.  There was nothing left to hold her to this woman who had come to mean so much to her.  Her husband was dead. Customarily, a young widow would return to her parent's home where she would stay until finding another husband.  The culture did not make provisions for unattached women; it would only make sense for Ruth to return home.  But something drew her to Naomi.

In marrying Mahlon, Ruth was introduced by his mother to the One True God.  Through this woman's faith, she saw something she wanted for herself.  As Ruth was faced with the decision of going back to what was familiar, the religion, customs and ways of her people, or staying with Naomi and travel to a new land, she chose the latter.  Not only did her mother-in-law capture her heart, but this God was One whom she wanted to pledge allegiance to.

Ruth could easily have done what was expected of her.  Instead, she was willing to let go of her past with all it's familiar practices, people, and gods and give her heart to the One who pursued her.  It would have been easier for her to follow Naomi's directives and head back home, but her heart had been changed and what used to hold value to her no longer meant a thing.  All she wanted was for Naomi's God to be her God (Ruth 1).

I, too, am a foreign woman who is being offered a new life in an unfamiliar yet irresistibly enticing kingdom.  Will I let go of what is so comfortable and embrace what Jesus is offering?

A broken heart is willing to let go of the old and embrace what God is offering by faith in Jesus Christ; an abundant life that is upside down and backwards from this world.

Joseph.  He was treated horribly, thrown in a pit by his own brothers and left to die, only to be sold on a whim to foreign merchants who were passing through to Egypt (Genesis 37).  He, the favored son of a rich man, suddenly found himself working as a lowly slave.  Still, he didn't let such an offense to his pride keep him down.  Instead, Joseph was willing to be used by God, right where he was.

If the same thing happened to me and my own family willfully sold me into the slave trade where I became a victim of human trafficking, a possession used by greedy men to make money for them to enjoy, I would be outraged.  It would be hard for me to accept my position, doing my best to help my masters.  While the analogy is not perfect since Joseph did not seem to be mistreated by Potiphar, it had to have been humiliating to serve someone else with no hope of living a life of his own.

Am I willing to take any position, no matter how low or high, in order to further God's kingdom?  Is nothing out of the question when it comes to God's calling on my life, or are there some places I would never agree to go, certain stations I would not approve of for my own life?

A broken heart is willing to be used wherever God places me.

Mary.  It would be humiliating, not to mention shameful and downright embarrassing  She was a young woman, pledged to marry.  How would she explain a pregnancy?  People would talk, rumors would spread and she could be in danger of being stoned.  If she did escape with her life, would Joseph even agree to go through with the marriage, thinking of her as damaged goods?  There was much to sacrifice in order for Mary to accept the calling God had on her life (Luke 1:29-38).

While it's easy to focus on the honor of carrying the Messiah, it came with a price.  Mary faced ridicule, disgrace and being treated as an outcast in order to accept such a mission.  Yet, she barely even gave her own comfort a second thought, instead desiring God to have His way in her life.

I tend to fight God in a lot of ways.  I say I love Him and have given my life to Him, but there are many things that I consider off limits.  I wouldn't want to go through a scandal of some kind where I was falsely accused, judged as guilty and scorned by all.  If I ended up in jail, humiliated by my fall from grace, would I accept it as my lot in life?  What if I lost all my possessions and ended up on the street, dependent upon the kindness of strangers to keep me alive?  I also couldn't imagine being tortured for my faith; would I be able to withstand such treatment as other Christians endure?  Am I willing to be His hands and feet in the most shameful or cruel of places?

A broken heart is willing to undergo shame and heartache in order to accept God's calling on my life.

I don't like to think of myself as broken.  When I see my sin for what it is, however; an offense to God, I'll see myself in a different way.  I'm no different than anyone else for the ground is level at the foot of the cross.  As I stand there, gazing up at my Savior's suffering countenance, I am humbled to the point of brokenness, realizing there is nothing He declared as off limits in His love for me.  Why, then, would I not be willing to go wherever He calls me, to be used right where I am, and to endure any kind of treatment in my obedience to Him?  This is when I will realize the coveted broken heart.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to let Him have His way.

When do I think of myself as better than I am?

How do I declare certain areas as off limits for service to Him? 

      

Who Can Stand?

"But the LORD killed seventy men from Beth-shemesh

because they looked into the Ark of the LORD.

And the people mourned greatly because 

of what the LORD had done.

'Who is able to stand in the presence of the LORD,

this holy God?'  they cried out.

'Where can we send the Ark from here?'"

1 Samuel 6:19-20 NLT

They were overjoyed at the sight of the ark.  One minute they were harvesting in the fields, bent over in their labor, the next they were rejoicing, lifting their hands to the heavens.  How did the ark get here?  How could these cows have delivered it, going against instinct and leaving behind their calves?  It is a miracle!  God has brought His ark of the covenant back to His people! 

As the men of Beth-shemesh prepared the sacrifice, they marveled at the fact that the Lord had not only brought the ark back to the land of His people, but specifically to a priestly town where it would be handled properly. (Joshua 21:16) They rejoiced in His providence.  Unfortunately, in their exuberance and perhaps curiosity, some of these men who knew better forgot that God is holy and to be revered.  They violated this symbol of His presence by looking upon the ark with their lowly eyes. (Numbers 4:5,20)  Not to let this attitude be overlooked, God struck the offenders down, providing a sober reminder of His holiness and their unworthiness.

It is easy to get comfortable with God.  The more I get to know Him, the closer I grow, drawing near as I learn about His role as my loving Father who extends mercy and grace through the blood of His Son, Jesus.  Sometimes, however, I become so at ease around Him that I forget His holy nature.  In order to help me cultivate a healthy respect for Him, then, there are some qualities that God will develop in me as I cooperate with the ongoing transformation process.

Humbleness

He was said to be the most humble man on the face of the earth.  When it came to his own honor, he easily let criticism pass. (Numbers 12:2)  If God's reputation were disrespected, however, he was passionate, to say the least, ready to defend His holy name. (Exodus 32:19-20)  Moses understood how he fit into the scheme of things, with God being the One to deserve all glory and honor.

If I am to similarly recognize the holiness of God as I live in tandem with Him, I must become less and He must become more.  As I grow closer, His perfect nature will become more apparent and my own wretchedness will be made plain.  In this way, I am being humbled.

Sometimes it takes a life-threatening illness to burn out the impurity of my own pride.  When I hold even the most elementary of beliefs that there is some good within me or that I am capable of doing something worthwhile apart from Him, I am in danger of minimizing God's holiness.  God will do what it takes to show me how dependent upon Him I am.

Other times He will take away His favor, showing me how wretched a creature am I.  When I start to harbor feelings of self-satisfaction, wrongly believing I'm pretty good at this thing we call the Christian life, I am in danger of minimizing God's holiness.  It then takes a wake-up call from God to remind me of how hopeless I am without Him.

Then there are times when God may give me what I selfishly want, vividly illustrating the futility of following my own path.  When I desire my way over God's, I am in danger of minimizing God's holiness.  He has His own method of showing me just how foolish are my plans and how far superior are His.

As I go through life, God will humble me in ways that reveals more and more of His holy nature.

Reverence

He did exactly as God told him to do even though he didn't understand it.  Despite his inability to figure out how God would conquer the great walled city, this leader passed on the instructions precisely as God had given them to him.  The priests were given their peculiar marching orders.  The people knew what they must do.  Despite the fact that the people might think he was nuts, Joshua did exactly as God had commanded him to do. (Joshua 6) 

As familiar as the story of Joshua and the fall of Jericho might be, I may not have realized the reverence Joshua held for God.  He respected Him enough to obey His orders without feeling the need to understand what God was doing or how in the world walking around the city would result in victory.  Instead, he simply did as he was told.  His obedience revealed a level of respect for God of which I need.

It reminds me of the broken speedometer in my vehicle.  Even though I can gauge my speed by how fast others are driving, I still want to know the exact reading.  Similarly, it's hard for me to trust in something I don't fully understand.  If I am to put my faith in a God whose ways are so far superior to mine, then, I will need to accept the fact that His ways are unfathomable. (Isaiah 55:8-9)  It is impossible for me to understand His purposes and plans.  (Romans 11:33)  I cannot expect to be able to uncover the mysteries of His mind.  (Job 5:9, Psalm 139:6)  Instead, I am to revere God enough to do as He says.

As I go through life, God will develop in me a reverence for His unsearchable ways.

Submissiveness

He did as he was told without question.  When God said to leave the only home he ever knew and the family he loved so much, he did so, not finding it necessary to know where they would end up.  (Genesis 12)  Later, when the Lord instructed him to sacrifice his only son, he responded in obedience. (Genesis 22)  Abraham was a man who submitted to the authority of God in his life.

Unfortunately for me, my will is strong.  In order to yield to God's will, mine must be weakened.  In other words, I must come to the point where His ways become more important to me than mine.  Then I will more easily heed His teachings, taking them seriously.  Up until then, I might brush His wisdom aside as optional or voluntary.  Once I see the connection between my love for Him and my willingness to do as He says, I'll leave behind my rebellious ways and become more submissive to His.

It reminds me of a company I hired to care for my lawn.  When they first showed up to do the job, I met them in the driveway so I could show them the boundaries of our yard and express what I expected.  As I spoke, the man on the lawn mower jumped off the machine and walked along the edge of our yard, asking questions to better understand where he was to mow.  I appreciated his attention to detail and his desire to take my instructions seriously.

This is what God wants from me, an earnest desire to do as He says and to take His Word seriously.  Whatever He reveals to me should be held as precious, so much so that I respond immediately, taking the teaching to heart and letting Him use His own Word to change my behaviors, thoughts and habits.  When I make myself like a pliable lump of clay, God can mold me into the woman He created me to be.  When I stubbornly insist on my way, hardening my heart in fear or obstinacy, I will stay as I am.

As I go through life, God will shape me into a submissive child who takes her Father's instructions seriously.

It is easy to get too comfortable with God, thinking of Him as if He were like me.  In such a mindset, I am in danger of offending the holy nature of God.  As I cooperate with His sanctifying work in my life, I will become more humble, develop a reverence for Him and learn submissiveness.  In these ways, I will truly understand that no one can stand before such a holy God:  Only He is worthy to be praised.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can keep God's holiness in mind as I let Him have His way in my life.

When do I treat God almost like a servant, expecting Him to do my bidding?

How do I offend His holiness in the flippant way I deal with Him or talk about Him?  Do I say His name with reverence?