"You do not delight in sacrifice,
or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart you,
God,
will not despise."
Psalm 51:16-17
He wants this from me, yet I'm unsure of it's qualities. My Father desires humility, brokenness, a repentant heart above my best efforts at working for Him. He wants me to both be sorry for my sin, not taking His grace and mercy for granted but realizing how much I depend on them, and willing to be used by Him despite my brokenness.
While I try to wrap my mind around this idea of brokenness, I wanted to know how it looks as it is played out in someone's life. Here are a few examples.
Ruth. There was nothing left to hold her to this woman who had come to mean so much to her. Her husband was dead. Customarily, a young widow would return to her parent's home where she would stay until finding another husband. The culture did not make provisions for unattached women; it would only make sense for Ruth to return home. But something drew her to Naomi.
In marrying Mahlon, Ruth was introduced by his mother to the One True God. Through this woman's faith, she saw something she wanted for herself. As Ruth was faced with the decision of going back to what was familiar, the religion, customs and ways of her people, or staying with Naomi and travel to a new land, she chose the latter. Not only did her mother-in-law capture her heart, but this God was One whom she wanted to pledge allegiance to.
Ruth could easily have done what was expected of her. Instead, she was willing to let go of her past with all it's familiar practices, people, and gods and give her heart to the One who pursued her. It would have been easier for her to follow Naomi's directives and head back home, but her heart had been changed and what used to hold value to her no longer meant a thing. All she wanted was for Naomi's God to be her God (Ruth 1).
I, too, am a foreign woman who is being offered a new life in an unfamiliar yet irresistibly enticing kingdom. Will I let go of what is so comfortable and embrace what Jesus is offering?
A broken heart is willing to let go of the old and embrace what God is offering by faith in Jesus Christ; an abundant life that is upside down and backwards from this world.
Joseph. He was treated horribly, thrown in a pit by his own brothers and left to die, only to be sold on a whim to foreign merchants who were passing through to Egypt (Genesis 37). He, the favored son of a rich man, suddenly found himself working as a lowly slave. Still, he didn't let such an offense to his pride keep him down. Instead, Joseph was willing to be used by God, right where he was.
If the same thing happened to me and my own family willfully sold me into the slave trade where I became a victim of human trafficking, a possession used by greedy men to make money for them to enjoy, I would be outraged. It would be hard for me to accept my position, doing my best to help my masters. While the analogy is not perfect since Joseph did not seem to be mistreated by Potiphar, it had to have been humiliating to serve someone else with no hope of living a life of his own.
Am I willing to take any position, no matter how low or high, in order to further God's kingdom? Is nothing out of the question when it comes to God's calling on my life, or are there some places I would never agree to go, certain stations I would not approve of for my own life?
A broken heart is willing to be used wherever God places me.
Mary. It would be humiliating, not to mention shameful and downright embarrassing She was a young woman, pledged to marry. How would she explain a pregnancy? People would talk, rumors would spread and she could be in danger of being stoned. If she did escape with her life, would Joseph even agree to go through with the marriage, thinking of her as damaged goods? There was much to sacrifice in order for Mary to accept the calling God had on her life (Luke 1:29-38).
While it's easy to focus on the honor of carrying the Messiah, it came with a price. Mary faced ridicule, disgrace and being treated as an outcast in order to accept such a mission. Yet, she barely even gave her own comfort a second thought, instead desiring God to have His way in her life.
I tend to fight God in a lot of ways. I say I love Him and have given my life to Him, but there are many things that I consider off limits. I wouldn't want to go through a scandal of some kind where I was falsely accused, judged as guilty and scorned by all. If I ended up in jail, humiliated by my fall from grace, would I accept it as my lot in life? What if I lost all my possessions and ended up on the street, dependent upon the kindness of strangers to keep me alive? I also couldn't imagine being tortured for my faith; would I be able to withstand such treatment as other Christians endure? Am I willing to be His hands and feet in the most shameful or cruel of places?
A broken heart is willing to undergo shame and heartache in order to accept God's calling on my life.
I don't like to think of myself as broken. When I see my sin for what it is, however; an offense to God, I'll see myself in a different way. I'm no different than anyone else for the ground is level at the foot of the cross. As I stand there, gazing up at my Savior's suffering countenance, I am humbled to the point of brokenness, realizing there is nothing He declared as off limits in His love for me. Why, then, would I not be willing to go wherever He calls me, to be used right where I am, and to endure any kind of treatment in my obedience to Him? This is when I will realize the coveted broken heart.
As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to let Him have His way.
When do I think of myself as better than I am?
How do I declare certain areas as off limits for service to Him?
