Seeking Love

"Whoever covers an offense seeks love,

but he who repeats a matter separates close friends."

Proverbs 17:9 ESV

Sin.  It ruined the world God created.  It destroys marriages, estranges mothers from daughters, fathers and sons, friends from friends.  It tears apart those who intended to stay together.  Living in a dark world in a body made of flesh, I've learned many destructive ways to cope, harmful methods of handling conflict, selfish approaches to living.  All of these damaging patterns are not what God intends for me.  They are sinful.  And they cause a rift between myself and those I love.

So how to deal with such sin?  It's an important issue since we're all sinners, either saved by the blood of Jesus or not.  Let's take a look at God's Word to find the answers we need.

Cover.  To forgive literally means "to cover."  When Jesus died the death meant for me, His blood atoned from my sins.  In other words, when God looks at me He no longer sees my sin but only the blood of Jesus cleansing me of all unrighteousness, covering over where I have fallen short.  Therefore, my Father is no longer offended by how I have transgressed His holy standard but is pleased by what His Son as done to make amends for such affronts.  My sin is covered and I go forward in forgiveness by faith in Jesus.

Now that I've been forgiven in such a way, walking in said forgiveness, I can pass this gift on to those I love (Ephesians 4:32, 1 Peter 4:8).  Instead of pointing out how they offended me, I can extend the blood of Jesus on to them, allowing His sacrifice to cover their sin so it no longer comes between us.  While it's easy to hold on to the way they hurt me, I can instead choose to let it go and refuse to hold their sin against them, not matter how hurtful.  I'm empowered to do this by the forgiveness Jesus delivered to me.  I could make my loved one pay for how they damaged my psyche with their offenses, or I could wipe their slate clean, offering to start anew because of what Jesus accomplished when He gave His life on the cross.

When sin threatens to destroy relationships, I can cover over these offenses with the blood of Jesus, rendering such transgressions as powerless to inflict further damage.

Offense.  It's easy for me to be offended by how others behave, especially when it comes to those I love.  They get under my skin, irritating me with their unwillingness to change, their annoying habits and difficult ways.  I build up a wall to protect myself from their destructiveness and I begin to think of myself as a little bit better than they.  After all, I think, at least I don't struggle with that, as I consider how foolish are their ways.

Unfortunately for me, I've forgotten just how sinful I am.  I've failed to recognize that I'm right there with them, wallowing in the muck of humanity, struggling with the same kind of sins.  I have put on blinders to how we share similar issues and instead mistakenly think I don't face such lowly tendencies.  I've fooled myself into thinking I'm above the sin when really I'm only forgiven from it and without the grace of God extended to me by faith in Jesus, I'm hopelessly broken and as bad off as the worst of the worst.  This humbling truth changes my perspective as I come down off of my high horse, allowing me to live in peaceful fellowship with those I love (1 John 1:7-9).

When sin threatens to destroy relationships, I must remember our commonality; that apart from Jesus we are all hopelessly broken and sinful people.

Gossip.  I have to admit, I gain a bit of satisfaction from talking about the way others have hurt me.  When I'm in pain, it seems the hurt subsides a bit when I can share how I've been slighted and get my frustrations off my chest.  Unfortunately, all I tend to do when in this selfish mindset is to spread gossip that works to drive a wedge between myself and the one I love who has offended me.

Gossip can come in many forms.  Sometimes its cloaked as a prayer request as in when I share how others can pray for my loved one who has sunk to such depths as to hurt me so.  I give too many details and speak with the intention of casting blame or pointing fingers, not desiring true healing.  Other times, I spread the news of how another has offended me, seeking to find support for my innocence instead of desiring the true reconciliation that would come with repentance and confession.  Then there are times when I take in the news shared by friends, turning the opportunity into an impromptu counseling session when I give all sorts of advice as to how they can fix their problem, stopping short of suggesting actually forgiveness.  Talking about the hurt that occurs in all relationships does nothing to solve the problem unless forgiveness is at its core.  

When sin threatens to destroy relationships, I must refrain from the temptation to gossip, keeping reconciliation through forgiveness as my constant goal.

Sin causes rifts in most loving relationships.  When it does raise it's ugly head I can wallow in the pain it causes, or I can choose the healing route.  When I stick to the path that leads to life, I'll seek to forgive, remember that I'm no better and often share similar struggles, and work toward reconciliation by avoiding gossip.  In these ways I'll be seeking love.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to stop holding on to hurts and instead extend forgiveness.

When do I gossip without even realizing it?

How am I part of the problem instead of part of the solution?  

     

True Prosperity

"Blessed is the man who does not walk

in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields it fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers."

Psalm 1:1-3

She put her all into living for God.  Every waking moment was spent thinking of ways to please Him.  Soon, an opportunity came along that seemed good but instead of talking to God about it, she decided it was too good to pass up: it must be from God!  Consequently, she unwittingly walked down the wrong path.  After awhile, she noticed her life began falling apart: Relationships were strained, debt was piling up, her joy and inner peace were gone.  Where did she go wrong?

While living for God is not a formula to be followed where doing "A" will automatically bring about "B", there is one certainty: Doing things God's way and letting Him be Lord of my life will lead to blessing.  These blessings may come in the form of spiritual fruit, physical qualities or material gifts but whatever the type, things go better when I submit to God's absolute authority in every part of my life.

Many times, however, I find myself like the woman in the above scenario.  I try to do the right thing, putting a lot of effort into pleasing God without getting to know Him personally.  I'd rather do for Him than let Him into the innermost parts of my life where darkness dwells.  Giving Him access, however, is the ultimate manifestation of intimacy.  And without closeness to the one whom I call "Lord," there is no real relationship.

If I want to follow God's lead and enjoy a kingdom-prosperous life, I will have to give Jesus lordship over every part of my life so I won't get caught on the wrong path.

Walk in the Ways of the World

The world tells me to consider my own needs and wants above all else, to promote my own strengths and work hard to utilize them well, and to make decisions based on what seems best for me.  If I follow these basic guidelines, I will be able to climb the corporate ladder of success in any career field.  This mindset, however, does not translate into  God's kingdom where things are backwards, upside down and radically different from the ways of the world.

If I try to succeed as a Christian by working hard, doing things that benefit me, and stay within my realm of experience then I will end up further and further away from God.  He is not impressed by my work ethic, my desire to achieve or my decision-making skills. (Proverbs 14:12)  What He does desire is my wholehearted devotion to His plan, placing all my eggs in His basket. 

Jesus talked about a poor widow who came to the temple to offer two small coins to the Lord.  Although it was a very small donation, Jesus said she gave more than everyone else who had been giving large amounts of money.  In my eyes, the rich people gave much more, but Jesus said that while they gave out of their abundance, this humble women gave all she had.  (Luke 21:1-4)  This is the kind of devotion God is looking for in my heart by the way I live every part of my life.

Therefore, instead of using my own common sense to make decisions and to think of my walk with Jesus as some kind of business transaction where I will succeed if I follow certain rules, I need to get serious about listening to Him and then doing what He places on my heart.

If I am offered a prestigious, well-paid position in a highly profitable corporation but I sense God's lead to start up a risky-sounding business to benefit children, I will only receive good things from God if I heed His call and take the plunge.

If I spent thousands of dollars on a college degree but my Shepherd leads me down a path that keeps me at home to raise my children, that career that seems so tempting will never bring the satisfaction that will come from obeying God in what the world says is foolishness.

If I would rather be my own boss and make my own decisions but God clearly intends for me to submit to Him, the plans I have for myself will never amount to much as I stray from His path.

The wisdom of God dispensed through Solomon says that I need to, "Trust in the Lord will all (my) heart and lean not on (my) own understanding; in all (my) ways acknowledge Him, and he will make (my) paths straight."  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I can only hope for true prosperity if I turn my back on the ways of the world and let the Lord rule my life in every way.

Take the Path that leads to Destruction

It looked so pleasant; the walkway was wide and flat without a pothole or stone upon which to trip.  The road was lined with fragrant roses and lit by pleasant gas-lamps.  Even the gateway to enter this  route looked attractive with its embellished wrought iron archway covered in emerald ivy.  This must be the right way, I thought.  After all, look how many people are waking this path while the other choice is much inferior in quality and nearly barren of travelers; this broad road must be the best.  (Matthew 7:13-14)

It is easy to find myself on the path that leads to destruction.  I justify the little sins, telling myself that "at least I'm not as bad as them."  Soon I am categorizing sin, placing it into classifications of "serious" and "not so serious."  After awhile, the little sins seem to be less of a real sin and I begin to think of them as "mistakes" or "mess-ups."  I start to tell myself that God isn't offended by what I do because He knows I'm trying.

Before long I am living with many strongholds of sin, allowing them to rule my life without regard to the grief I am causing the Holy Spirit in my careless attitude. (Ephesians 4:30)  

I am headed toward destruction when I lie to the IRS by fudging the numbers to give myself a lower tax bill.  Everyone does it so its not really that big of a deal.  Unfortunately for me, I am ignoring God's desire for His people to be known as honest and trustworthy in order to reflect His character. (Exodus 20:16, Proverbs 16:11, Psalm 119:160)

I am headed toward destruction when I watch television shows or movies which portray graphic sex-scenes or filthy language, thinking to myself that I'm only watching it, not taking part in it.  As I minimize sin in either myself or others,  I am making light of His desire for me to live a holy and pure life, devoid of sexual immorality of any kind. (1 Corinthians 6:18, Matthew 5:28, 1 Peter 1:16, Psalm 51:10, Matthew 5:8)

I am headed toward destruction when I share prayer requests to my friends about all the horrible things with which another believer is struggling, calling myself righteous for my good deeds.  Gossip can never be considered helpful, no matter what I tell myself and I am guilty of spreading hearsay regardless of how I dress it up. (Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 21:23, Leviticus 19:16, Proverbs 26:22)

I can only hope for true prosperity if I choose to follow my Shepherd down the narrow path of righteousness. (Psalm 23:3)

Turn into a Hypocrite

They placed a heavy burden on the people in their quest to help members to live their lives in a way that pleased God.  They spent so much time analyzing others' behavior in light of scripture that they never took the time to examine their own actions, beliefs or attitudes.  Obviously, if they were placed in such a position of authority, they thought, they must be as one who is to be emulated.  Unfortunately for the Pharisees, this was not the case.  Instead, here is what Jesus said of them and their efforts:

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!  You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." (Matthew 23:27-28)

There are times when I think like the Pharisees.  I get the idea that with all the things I do for God, He will certainly overlook the areas where I am off-base.  Instead of taking Him seriously, I brush certain sins aside, assuming a good effort is all that matters.

God, however, cannot be mocked.  I reap what I sow.  (Galatians 6:7) If I plant seeds of selfish living, I will reap the fruit of the flesh.  (Galatians 5:19-21)  If I live according to my own desires, my life will end up in ruins. (Galatians 6:8) If I only think of myself and my family, rarely giving of my time, talent and money to others, my life will be marked by this stinginess and I will be given little. (Luke 6:38)

No matter how small a sin may seem to me, to God it is serious enough for Him to send His Son to die as a punishment for the transgression.  As a holy God, my uncovered sin is an affront to Him and makes me His enemy.  Only through the atoning sacrifice Jesus made on the cross do I have any hope of pleasing Him.  Because of this gift of grace, I must always strive to take God seriously and guard against the hypocrisy of overlooking my own sin while paying attention to the transgressions of others.  

We are all in the same boat and have received the same death sentence. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23)  Only through Jesus do I have the hope of eternity with Him.

I can only hope for true prosperity if I guard against hypocrisy and know my true identity as a sinner saved by grace.

My life can be like a tree that is planted near a revitalizing stream if I will keep myself separate from the ways of the world, stay off the path of destruction, and shield my heart and mind from carrying a double standard.  Then, I will experience true prosperity as I walk in God's ways, travel down the rocky path that leads to life, and live authentically and humbly before God.  This is a life worth living.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can take God seriously in all my ways.

How do I minimize sin in my life?

When am I hard on others but give myself a pass?