Hannah's Heart

"So in the course of time

Hannah became pregnant 

and gave birth to a son.

She named him Samuel,

saying, 'Because I asked the LORD for him.'"

1 Samuel 1:20

Her life was far from a fairy tale.  In fact, I would say that Hannah lived a difficult life that was filled with suffering.  She was childless in a culture that revered and valued motherhood.  Making her situation even more challenging was the fact that the poor woman was favored by her clueless husband in a home shared by two wives, setting her up for much abuse.  You see, the other woman with whom she split her husband was quite fertile but possessed a cruel nature and never let an opportunity pass to unmercifully provoke her, always keeping her own infertility constantly before her.

I can't think of a more strained existence than the one lived by Hannah.  How did she deal with such circumstances?  In a way from which I can draw much insight and wisdom in how to face my own struggles.

Godly Priorities

When I first met the man who would later become my husband, I only knew about him what I could observe from the little time I spent with him.  As time went by, we began to hold long conversations on the phone, talking about what was going on in each of our lives, sharing our dreams and revealing childhood memories.  Still, I only knew a fraction of what made the whole person.  

Once we got married and started living life together, however, I began to really get to know him.  I discovered his quirky ways, learned more about his views on life and also unearthed some quite annoying habits.  It wasn't until I invited him into the intimate parts of my life that his true character was revealed.

Similarly, I can read the Bible and find out quite a bit about the Lord.  My spare time can be spent in listening to sermons and classes taught about the God I desire to know.  It is not until I invite Him into the intimate parts of my life, however, living life in tandem with Him that I find out His true character (Revelation 3:20, Psalm 34:8).  This is the kind of relationship Hannah enjoyed with the Lord.  She knew Him intimately, as evidenced by her prayer found in 1 Samuel 2:1-10.

While leaning on Him during her hard times, Hannah learned that He was her strength, a Deliverer who is holy and can be counted upon.  She also found out as she relied on Him that He is a righteous Judge and is filled with knowledge, the only One who is sovereign over all things.  As she walked with Him she realized that putting all her hope in Him would never disappoint and that He was her mighty Warrior, always faithful to fight her battles for her.

With such knowledge gained by living in relationship with the Lord, she was able to put all her faith in Him, turning to the One she knew would understand even when no human around her did.  

When the going gets tough in my own life, I can learn a lesson from Hannah and get to know the God who is my only true hope.

All In

She gave up the very thing she wanted most.  Many years were spent yearning for a child, and when God finally granted her the joy of being a mother, she gave the precious gift back to God.  In a pure act of spiritual dedication and commitment to the Lord, Hannah was willing to let go of her most valued earthly possession.  In her mind that was committed to the Lord, the greatest evidence of her gratitude to Him was for her to give that which she had wanted most back to the One whom she valued even more.

Jim Elliot once wrote in his journal that, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."  Hannah knew a little something about such kingdom values.  The things of this world will pass away no matter how tightly we clutch them.  On that great day when I enter into glory and taste what Jesus has prepared for me, I will finally realize the foolishness of going after the things of this world.  It is then that the insignificance of what I once thought was earth-shattering will become apparent. 

Hannah lived with this perspective in the here and now, fully giving her life to the Lord.  She understood that her connection to God was what would last, giving her complete and utter joy.  Everything else, even the child she so desperately desired, could not bring such fullness as could her bond with the Lord.  Therefore, she was willing to let go of everything else and live with abandon to Him.

I, too, can live such a life.  I can hold onto my worldly possessions with an open hand, being willing to let them go, believing that what Jesus is preparing in heaven far surpasses anything I can obtain in this world.  I can also commit my loved ones to the Lord, letting Him be the One to change their hearts, protect them from evil and guide them down the path that leads to life.  Instead of fretting over their position, I can confidently place them in the hands of Him who loves them even more than do I.  It is even possible for me to let go of the dreams I have always held close to my heart, placing them for safe keeping in the hands of the One who can make them come true in a way that honors Him.

When the going gets tough in my own life, I can learn a lesson from Hannah and fully commit my life to the Lord who loves me perfectly.

Anti-Anxiety

There was nothing pleasant about her life.  Worry and stress were a regular part of each day.  Would she ever taste the joys of motherhood?  What if what Peninnah said was true, what if her life was meaningless without children?  Why would God bless such a mean-spirited woman with so many children and give her none?  

Instead of dwelling upon all that was difficult, however, Hannah knew the truth found in Philippians 4:6-7.  She poured out her heart to the Lord, sharing all that grieved her so deeply.  She didn't withhold even the ugliest thoughts, instead revealing them to the One who knew her intimately and loved her still.  As she did so, peace flooded her soul, guarding her mind from destructive thoughts and her heart from despair (1 Samuel 1:16-18).

The same is true for me.  Instead of focusing on what is distressing in my life, I can hand it all over to the Lord, unloading my burdens upon His shoulders.  As I do, I will find a sense of well-being and serenity replace the familiar feelings of apprehension and fretfulness.  

While it is easy for me to analyze my situation, coming up with dozens of possible solutions in my mind, trusting God to reveal His perfect plan in His own time will replace my sleepless nights with peaceful slumber.  In place of looking for possible alternatives to my seemingly hopeless condition, I can share my disappointments with the One who is able to do so much more than I could ever ask or even imagine (Ephesians 3:20).  Instead of looking for plausible answers, I can watch for the mind-blowing solution the God of the impossible brings about, to His own glory (Luke 1:37).

When the going gets tough in my own life, I can learn a lesson from Hannah and place all my anxiety on the One who delivers unfathomable peace to my soul.

There is no doubt that Hannah was dealt a rough hand with which to play.  Instead of whining about the difficulties that marked her life, however, she took the time to know on an intimate level the One who created all things, fully committed her whole life to Him, and trusted Him with her most confidential thoughts.  In these ways, I too can retain godly priorities, totally commit everything I've been given to the God who loves me, and work against the anxiety in my life by living authentically before Him.  In these ways I'll develop the heart of Hannah.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can keep God in the loop of the ins and outs of my life.

When do I hold onto things that hold no heavenly value?

How am I trying to handle things on my own instead of trusting God to solve my problems for me?    

Originally published on April 8, 2014

God. . .or not?

"There the Danites set up for themselves the idol,

and Jonathan son of Gershom,

the son of Moses,

and his sons were priests for the tribe of Dan

until the time of the captivity of the land.

They continued to use the idol Micah had made,

all the time the house of God was in Shiloh."

Judges 18:30-31

It seemed like a good idea at the time.  After all, I didn't know any better.  My husband and I put together the pieces in the way we thought the bookshelf should go.  Without the instructions, we relied on our own experience of assembling kits, our background in using bookshelves and our opinion of how the finished product should look.  After we completed the product we discovered several "extra" pieces.  Obviously, our idea of how the shelves should be put together was different than what the creator of the furniture had intended.

This is similar to what happened to the tribe of Dan.  Without a godly leader to teach them the ways of God, they relied on what seemed right to them.  They ended up, then, with something that was different from what God intended.  They had a form of godliness but it wasn't of God (2 Timothy 3:5). It looked like a legitimate religion and made them feel good, but they failed to seek God Himself, nor did they desire to know Him personally.

Not surprisingly, I often make this same mistake.

My Wisdom

I used my own rationale, reasoning to myself that if I followed the game trail I would be able to more easily negotiate the wooded terrain.  What I didn't take into account, however, was the direction of travel.  Deer don't mind if they wander through a neighbor's pasture or trespass onto land that belongs to someone else.  Their only focus is to get from point A to point B.  I, however, had a different goal; to explore the 10 acres of wooded land my family was considering purchasing.  As a result, I got lost.

While it made sense to my way of thinking to follow this meandering path as a way to find my way through the dense forest, it didn't turn out very well in the end.  I suddenly found myself in a cow pasture I didn't even know existed and I had to trek through a herd of cattle before making my way to the road and circle back around to where I started.  Doing things my way was unsuccessful.

This is similar to what happens when I rely on my own insight, using my past experiences, background and reasoning to determine what I should do.  The path I choose takes me far away from God.  Consequently, if I want to do things God's way, I had better let Him lead.  

This means placing my confidence in the Lord's wisdom, believing that He has a way through my present circumstances that I know nothing about.  When I turn to Him, placing all my trust in His way, He will show me what I need to know when I need to know it (Proverbs 3:5-6).

It reminds me of the markers that indicate the borders of our property.  In order to find the boundaries, I would only need to locate those markers buried a few inches under the ground.  Without them, I don't know where my yard stops and my neighbor's begins.  All that it takes for me to discover the property line is to locate those markers that have already been positioned.

Similarly, God has laid out a race for me to run, a way for me to go, a path for me to take (Hebrews 12:1).  There is no need for me to figure out by myself what I should do with my life.  Instead, I need only seek out the Lord and, according to His timetable, He will unveil the markers that make His way clear (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

I follow my own form of religion when I rely on my own understanding instead of seeking God's plan.

My Power

In my own strength I could only get the seat out to the van from where it was temporarily stored in our garage.  Without my husband's help, though, I couldn't lift it into the vehicle and maneuver it back into place.  I possessed the will to do so and I could see how the latches on the bottom of the seat were designed to clamp into the anchors mounted on the floor of the van.  Without an outside source of power, however, I didn't have the strength to accomplish the task.

This is similar to my walk with the Lord.  I may think I know what needs to be done, or I have an idea of how things should go according to what I can handle, but I limit myself to what I can naturally do.  For instance, I may reject the idea that I could speak to a group of people because I get too nervous.  Instead of relying on the God who made my mouth and can enable me to deliver His message, I only go by what I think I am capable of doing.  In this way I limit God by my own weaknesses (Exodus 4:10-11).

Other times, I think that this is not the time to start the ministry God has placed on my heart.  After all, I reason, my life is too busy right now; I don't want to spread myself too thin.  Unfortunately, what I am failing to realize is that if God gave me a job to do, it is His strength that will accomplish the work, not my own.  Therefore, it doesn't matter if I'm poured out until I'm empty because God's power never runs out (Isaiah 40:28-29).

Then there are the times when I limit God to what I think I'm able to do.  Instead, God has amazing things to show me where He will prove that His arm is not too short (Numbers 11:23).

I follow my own form of religion when I limit God to what I can do instead of remembering that His power within me is able to accomplish far more (Ephesians 3:20).

My Love

Despite my efforts, the duck pond I excavated as a child drained quickly.  No matter how much water I added to the hole, it promptly drained out, leaving my ducks nowhere to swim.  This reminds me of my own ability to love; it is shallow and easily exhausted.  God's love, on the other hand, never runs out (1 Corinthians 13:7, 13, Psalm 136).

If I attempt only the acts of kindness that are within my own shallow ability to love, then, I am refusing to give God free reign to love.  Instead of letting His perfect love flow through me uninhibited, I kink the hose, cutting off the stream.  I manufacture a counterfeit religion based on my own ideas of love.

This happens when I put pressure on myself to respond to the cranky clerk with a soft answer, knowing it will turn away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). If she keeps pushing my buttons, however, my own well of love will soon grow dry and I'll snap, giving her a piece of my mind.  Instead, a genuine ability to love will only come forth when I surrender my desire to be treated with respect and let God show me the hurt that lies beneath her harsh words.  Then, as I take on the Lord Jesus Christ, He will respond through me with a level of compassion and understanding she has never before experienced (Romans 13:14).

Sometimes I attempt to love those who have been forgotten.  As I distribute the meals to the homeless, I smile warmly, attempting to show them how much I care.  Soon, however, I tire of the exercise and want to get back to my side of town. Instead, if I were to let God have His way, letting go of my own agenda, I'd soon find a genuine desire to personally get to know each person passing through the line, discovering a new-found acceptance of them as His image bearers.

I also make up my own form of religion when I try to reach out to my neighbors by a sense of obligation, knowing I am to be salt and light in a dark world.  Every time I hear the foul language spring forth from their mouths, however, and see the way they neglect their children, my efforts to show kindness draws to a close.  If I were to give up my tendency to point out their flaws, however, and simply let God remind me how much they need Jesus just like I do, I would not be able to fathom the compassion that flows out to them.  

I follow my own form of religion when I attempt to love others in the way I think I should instead of letting God perfectly love them through me (1 John 4:7-8).

While I may think it ridiculous that the tribe of Dan worshiped an image and thought they were doing right, I often set up my own form of religion and think it honors God.  Unfortunately, when I rely on my own wisdom, power and love, my attempts are proved a fraud.  If I want to follow God, I must do it His way.  Otherwise, I will find myself following a god that is not at all the One I seek.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can stay true to what God teaches in His Word.

When do I rely on my own understanding to try to negotiate the potholes of life instead of depending on God?

How am I making up things as I go instead of following the path God has marked out for me?


Originally published on April 2, 2014

Passover For All

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Tell the Israelites, 
'When any of you or your descendants are unclean 

because of a dead body or are away on a journey, 

they are still to celebrate the Lord's Passover. . .

A foreigner residing among you

is also to celebrate the Lord's Passover

in accordance with it's rules and regulations.

You must have the same regulations

for both the foreigner 

and the native born."

Numbers 9:10,14

In Upper New York Harbor stands a lady who welcomes all who dream of a better life in America.  If I were to visit Liberty Island and stand at her base, I would read the following:

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"*

America has always been known as the land of opportunity, a country open to refugees and legal immigrants no matter their race, color or creed.  While this open-door policy can bring with it a host of problems and makes us vulnerable in many ways, there is always a sense of compassion for those who are suffering that drives us toward such a belief.

In an even greater way, the Body of Christ welcomes all who have no family, regardless of background, family lineage or reputation.  The Lord is a God of standards, but He makes a way for all to enter into relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.  

In the same way that God allowed all to celebrate the Passover in Old Testament times as a way for His people to remember His mighty salvation from the hand of the Egyptians, so He has made a way for all to receive salvation from condemnation for our sins through faith in Jesus Christ (John 3:17-18).  Therefore, I could say that the cross of Christ is the great equalizer, making the ground level for any who profess a faith in Him.

Unclean

She couldn't seem to break away from the destructive habit of linking herself with dangerous men.

For him, alcohol was his savior; serving to numb him against the disappointment that his life had turned out to be.

This couple lived a risky life out on the street, making their home in a patch of woods behind a couple of warehouses.  Their's was a life of sleeping with one eye open, fighting to survive and constantly searching for the means to buy their next case of beer.  They both longed for more, but lacked the power to break free from their addictions.

Meanwhile, an abundant life is at their fingertips, waiting to be tasted through faith in Jesus Christ (John 10:10, Psalm 34:8).  While the world may say their's is a hopeless case, tossing them aside as so much refuse, God says they are His precious children (1 John 3:1).

I often feel unworthy of such extravagant, abundant love!  Through faith in Jesus Christ, however, the miracle lies in the fact that the extraordinary gift of salvation comes with a steep price which has already been paid by blood of Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary(1 Corinthians 7:23). There is nothing I can do to deserve this gift, which means I must learn to accept my admittance into His kingdom by faith.  Since I didn't earn it, neither can I lose it through my own failures and weaknesses.  My position as His child is secure (Romans 8:38-39).

Therefore, I can live joyfully, despite my own wretched heart.  I can boldly approach His throne of grace to receive the mercy I need to get through each moment, not based on what I've accomplished or deserve, but solely on what Jesus has already done (Hebrews 4:16).

Even though God expects perfection, my unclean heart can still find refuge in His kingdom through faith in Jesus Christ.

Foreigner

She grew up in the church and was familiar with all the Christian ways.  As a girl, she thought her place in heaven was secure because she was born into a family of faith.  Her dad, a devout believer in Jesus Christ and long-time pastor of a country church, sensed his daughter's mistaken belief.  He told her, "You must come to Christ on your own.  You can't rely on me to get you into God's kingdom.  I will not always be here to remind you of this truth."

The teenage girls confidently replied, "Daddy, I'm just gonna stand by your grave and when you are called up into heaven, I'll grab onto your coattails and go with you!"

While this may sound ridiculous, it is easy to think I'm right with God based on my familial affiliation.  Either I was born into a family who trusts in Jesus as their Savior, or I am a part of a vibrant congregation who worships the one true God.  In the words of Billy Sunday, early 20th century evangelist, "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage makes you an automobile."

No matter what family I am born into, or what nationality with which I am identified, or where I go to church, I have the same chance as anyone else to become part of the family of God.  All it takes is simple faith in the message of the cross (Romans 1:16).

Even though God only saves His own, I can become His child firmly rooted in His kingdom through faith in Jesus Christ, no matter my heritage.

Late Bloomer

I was puzzled at the sight of an azalea blooming in late summer.  It had been my experience that these colorful blooms helped usher in the new life of spring, but never before had I seen them blossom in the heat of the summer.  

In the same way that these azaleas could be called late bloomers, I often think of myself as the same.  I can be stubborn when it comes to following God's ways and slow to accept the place God has positioned me.  It is easy to waste precious time as I fight God as He performs the transformation process in my life, opting instead to obstinately prefer my own comfortable ways (Romans 12:2). 

Still, God loves me.  He may not be able to use me until I bend to His will, but my place in His family is not dependent upon my compliance.  It may take me awhile to come around, but God is patient with me, leading me forward one step at a time until I fully place myself in His hands.

If God gave me what I deserved, I would be on death row, marching toward an eternity separated from His goodness (Psalm 103:10, Romans 6:23).  Instead, He gives me eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ.  Not only that, I need not fear bowing to His authority in my life because He is a loving Master.

Even though God expects His people to live holy lives, my security in His kingdom is not dependent upon my performance but solely upon Christ's obedience.

I worship a God who has high standards.  It is easy, then, to assume my own unclean state, my inferior lineage or heritage, or my stubborn heart would leave me out in the cold.  Thankfully, however, this is not the case.  Instead, I find safe harbor in His kingdom through faith in Jesus Christ no matter my performance, station in life or difficulty in bending my will to His.  The Lord is a God who has provided a way for all to have the opportunity to live for Him.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can realize the grace of God that places my feet firmly upon His rock of salvation.

When do I hold back from truly trusting God wholeheartedly because of my own feelings of unworthiness?

How do I assume I don't belong to God's family since I have no heritage of faith?   

*From "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus http://www.libertystatepark.com/emma.htm 


Originally published on January 7, 2014

Photo credit:    

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The Choice

"But if you refuse to serve the LORD,

then choose today whom you will serve.

Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served

beyond the Euphrates?

Or will it be the gods of the Amorites 

in whose land you now live?

But as for me and my family,

we will serve the LORD."

Joshua 24:15 NLT

It was a horrible choice to face.  The young Polish mother was sent to Auschwitz concentration camp with her two young children.  Upon arrival, she was forced to choose whether it would be her son or her daughter who would be killed in the gas chambers.  Only one would be allowed to live, and in their cruelty, the Nazi guards compelled the mother to elect who would survive.

While my decision is not as heart-wrenching as this one depicted in the 1982 movie, "Sophie's Choice," I do have a clear choice to make.  In the same way that Joshua presented a choice to the people of Israel as to who they would serve, the Lord their God or the foreign gods, I have a similar decision to make.  I must be careful, though, not to do as the Israelites did:  They claimed to choose God, but also stubbornly clung to their old gods.  Joseph warned them to let go or God would turn from them and do them harm (v 20).

I must take this warning to heart and avoid giving my preference lip service.  When asked, "Whom today will I serve?", the answer I give must be sincere.

Foreign gods

He was nothing if not ambitious.  He felt pretty secure in his efforts, certain that his self-discipline in following the law would save him.  Still, he couldn't be sure.  So, the young man asked the Teacher as he passed through town.

"What is it I need to do to be saved?"

Jesus answered, "Well, if you insist on being saved by what you do, the requirement is this: Continually and perfectly follow the commandments."

"I'm in good standing, then, because all my life I have followed the commands you specified."

"Well then, if you truly want spiritual maturity, here is what you must do: Sell all you have and follow me."

This was a choice the wealthy young man was unwilling to make so he went away that day with a heavy heart.  The rich young ruler, while zealous in his quest to earn his way to heaven, didn't treasure Jesus enough to choose Him above all else (Paraphrased from Matthew 19:16-22).

I am not so different from this young man;  there is so much I value more than Jesus.  It could be worldly success which seems so important, my own self-interests that constantly stay before me, the pursuit of enough money to pay my bills and have a little left over to feel secure in the future, the hobbies or pastimes which are said to be healthy and beneficial; I am constantly faced with idols that I willingly worship.

In order to put away these captivating gods, I will need to purposefully turn away from them.  This means I could have to change my career goals so they line up more closely with God's plan for my life (Proverbs 3:5-6). I may also need to do a daily inventory of my heart, asking God to show me what is honoring to Him and what is simply there to motivate me to please myself (Psalm 139:23-24). 

While it is commendable to live in a fiscally responsible way, if I am looking to money to provide for my needs, I must instead rely on my heavenly Father who knows how to perfectly supply what is required for my life (Matthew 6:31-33).  It might also be necessary for me to ask of what I am unwilling to let go, no matter how good these pursuits might seem (Proverbs 14:12). Anything that gets between me and God, holds more weight than Him, or demands more attention than does the Lord is an idol. 

If I am to make the choice to follow Jesus, it is only an authentic choice if I put away any other gods.

The Lord our God

Amateur wrestling does not allow any maneuver that could cause bodily harm, whether intentional or not.  This includes full nelsons, forceful trips, headlocks, pulling a thumb or less than four fingers, or anything that restricts breathing or circulation.  The rules are there to protect the competitors and make sure everyone has the same chance to win.

A contest that excludes these kind of prohibitions is called a "no-holds-barred match."  As you can imagine, anything goes in these kind of bouts.  While I am not here to promote wrestling, or any other sport for that matter, there is a mindset found in this kind of competition that I can take on in my own walk with Jesus.

Instead of prohibiting certain acts of service, or proclaiming specific areas of my life as off-limits to God, a no-holds-barred approach would give Him complete access.  This means I would be willing to let God have His way in my life, letting Him choose my footsteps instead of me trying to be in control of my own destiny. While this kind of submission is not something that happens overnight, if He is Lord, I will see more of a desire to let Him lead as time goes by.

When I say I love God wholeheartedly but refuse to let go of the hurt a friend has caused, I am placing that area of my life off-limits to God.  If I say I will follow Jesus with everything I have, except if it means sacrificing my own welfare and comfort, then my proclamation is not sincere.  While I may mean it when I say that Jesus is Lord of my life, I can't make that claim sincerely if I'm angry about the suffering that sometimes is necessary for my sanctification. Thankfully, God leads us deeper and deeper into full and complete surrender as we grow in our relationship with Him.  

If I am to make the choice to follow Jesus, it is only an authentic choice if I submit more and more to Him as the days go on.

It is easy to say I will serve the Lord this day, but the choice I make is really made with my actions, not my words.  If it is to be a real choice, I will turn away from anything that distracts from the Lord, and I will wholeheartedly serve Him, taking a no-holds-barred approach. While I may not perfectly live this out as Jesus did, my desire to do so is what matters to God. In these ways, the choice I make will be apparent to anyone who is watching me live my life as they see the indwelling Spirit of God at work in me.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that the choice I make will honor God.

When do I say I want Jesus to be Lord, but withhold certain areas of my life from Him?

How am I worshiping idols in the way I spend my time?   


Originally published on March 11, 2014

Why?

"When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon,

he said,

'The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.'

'Pardon me, my lord,' Gideon replied,

'but if the LORD is with us,

why has all this happened to us?

Where are all his wonders that our ancestors

told us about when they said,

"Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?"

But now the LORD has abandoned us

and given us into the hand of Midian.'"

Judges 6:12-13

I hear it all the time, and you probably do too.  In fact, maybe you've wondered this as well.   "If God is such a good God, why did He let such evil happen?"  It's a fair question.  Gideon had similar doubts about the benefit of God's presence.  He wanted to know what good it does for God to be with them if oppression and suffering still occurred.  Maybe there's more to it than meets the eye.

Wake-Up Call

The harsh sound of the ringing phone assaulted our senses, waking up our entire family of six.  "Sheesh, that wake-up call could raise the dead!" I mumbled, grumpy from the early-morning racket.  

"Well, you did say you didn't want us to sleep through our alarm this morning,"  my husband graciously reminded me as he stepped into the bathroom of our hotel room.

"Yes, but neither did I want to pull a muscle in my neck!"  I grumbled, rubbing the throbbing area just above my pajama collar.

In the same way that it sometimes takes a loud alarm to wake me from a sound sleep, God often resorts to using difficult circumstances to draw me back to Him, waking me up from the kind of stupor that comes from mindlessly wandering away.  When things are going well, I often drift away from Him, thinking I've got it all covered on my own.  As soon as the temperature starts rising, so to speak, I can clearly see how much I need the Lord.

There are many ways I live my life as if I'm in a sound slumber.  I push along, reaching for personal and professional goals that have nothing to do with God's intended purpose for my life (Ephesians 2:10). In my own way of thinking, it seems like a good thing to shoot for, but I foolishly neglected to include God in my decision-making process (Proverbs 14:12, Proverbs 3:5-6).

Other times I go through the motions of accomplishing all the good deeds I think a good Christian should do.  I read my Bible, attend church, meet with other believers, and help others.  Still, my heart feels cold as a stone (Isaiah 29:13).

Many times I'm at risk of forgetting the grace by which I draw each breath.  As I walk further along the road, it's easy to slip onto the destructive path where rules become most important.  I mistakenly think I can please God by upholding a high standard for myself, using my own strength to try to become more patient, loving, kind and gentle with each passing day.  In reality, there is no fruit apart from Jesus (John 15:5, Galatians 5:22-23).

When I drift away from God, He will use whatever means possible to bring me back to Him.

Blinded

He healed the man born blind, but still the Jewish leaders would not believe.  Instead of taking such a miracle as a sign Jesus was of God, they questioned the newly-sighted man, seeking to find the answers that would agree with their own faulty premise.  Clearly, these Pharisees were blind (John 9).

I can be similarly blind, choosing to see only that which supports my own way of thinking.  Instead of opening my mind to the unlimited possibilities of God's sovereign nature, I limit Him. 

Despite all the miracles Moses witnessed God perform, he sometimes suffered from this same kind of spiritual blindness.  When the people he so faithfully led out of Egypt began to complain about their circumstances once again, craving meat to supplement the constant supply of manna, God told Moses He would supply an overabundance of meat for them to eat.  Apparently forgetting to whom He was talking, Moses said, "'Would they have enough if the flocks and herds were slaughtered for them?  Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?' The LORD answered Moses, 'Is the LORD's arm too short?  Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you'"(Numbers 11:22-23).

Sin tends to blind me to the truth.  My flesh trains me to see with earthly eyes so that I only notice that which lines up with my own way of thinking.  If I want to see God at work, then,  I'll need to take on His perspective.

This means I must look at the big picture, keeping in mind that God has a master plan which includes using everything for my good (Romans 8:28).  I might also find it necessary to focus only on the evidence of God's work in my life, surrendering all the potholes, obstacles and burdens to Him for safekeeping (Matthew 11:28, Exodus 33:14).  In order to see the good God is doing, I'll also need to let Him be God, realizing I won't always understand everything that is happening (Isaiah 55:8-9). Instead, I must trust Him as sovereign over all things (Daniel 4:35).  

When I am living in a state of spiritual blindness, I will no longer notice the benefits of God's presence in my life.

Fallen World

Cancer.

Divorce.

Accidents.

Chronic pain.

Sudden death.

People who love God with all of their heart, who have dedicated their lives to following Jesus, often suffer greatly.

Living in a fallen world is not what God intended for us.  When He made all things at the beginning of time, He saw that His creation was good (Genesis 1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31).  Then, sin entered the world.  When Adam ate the fruit God forbade him to consume, death became a reality for all of mankind.  It is only through Christ that we are delivered from such condemnation (Romans 5:12-21, John 3:17-18).

As a result of the destructive nature of sin, death is all around me.  Weeds threaten to choke out the vegetables I so carefully cultivate.  Everything moves toward a state of chaos and ultimately falls apart and disintegrates over time.  By the age of forty, most people notice their eyesight failing in one way or another.

Relationships also fall victim to the effects of sin.  Married people tend to drift away from each other.  Children automatically rebel and challenge their parent's authority in one way or another.  Friends find themselves at odds as each goes their separate ways.

Followers of Christ are not immune to the consequences of living in a fallen world. 

It's easy to ask, "Why?" when things get difficult, wondering what good God is doing if He doesn't bother to protect me from the bad stuff.  Hard times, suffering and pain, however, are not evidence that God has abandoned me.  Instead, He could be using the very thing that brings me great heartache to draw me back to Him.  It could also be that I'm not noticing all the good because I'm only looking at the bad.  Other times, my difficulty could simply be the result of living in a fallen world.  Whatever the reason for my pain, of one thing I can be sure:  He is with me (Psalm 16:8-11)!

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I will replace "why?" with "Who?"  The answer will then always be, "God."

How am I blind to all the good God is bringing into my life?

When do I blame God for something that is as the result of sin?


Originally published on March 17, 2014