Debate

"Fools find no pleasure in understanding

but delight in airing their own opinions."

Proverbs 18:2

It happens daily in the blog-o-sphere, on news talk shows, in the political arena:  debate, expressing of opinions with minds closed and no desire to understand.  Instead, there is only an effort to win, to prevail, to succeed in debunking the opponent's argument.  This is the fool's way.

Seek to Understand.  The sign fashioned out of colorful cardstock was posted as a reminder in our kitchen for years.  "Seek to Understand."  In an effort to encourage more listening in our family, I posted this call to pay more attention to the receiving side of communication rather than to the speaking part.  Our family had reached a point where we were all so intent on being heard that no one was listening.  You can imagine the resulting discord.

Good communication requires listening.  After all, if there is no one willing to take in what is being said there is no point in saying it.  When I only spend my time trying to get my point across and little if any time in trying to get what others are saying, there is a breakdown in communication.  Many times I may fear the opposite point of view, thinking that if I listen, really listen to what others are saying, there is a danger that I could fall away from what I believe to be true, or that others within earshot could be swayed by the wrong side.  So I try to shut them down.  In reality, only the truth stands in the light of scrutiny.  Everything else will be exposed for what it is (Ephesians 5:13).

Listening, however, will reveal the deep things within the heart, the hurt that lies underneath the anger, the pain that moves people to adopt destructive and harmful viewpoints.  If I never take the time to hear others, I'll never know what drove them toward such damaging beliefs.  And one who has been heard is more likely to listen.  

When I seek to understand, I open up lines of communication that will result in a spirit of empathy and compassion that lead to mutual respect.

Change Viewpoint.  I was used to seeing my neighborhood from my own home.  The sun would rise from behind the stand of trees in the far corner of my neighbor's backyard and set behind the house across the street.  I could watch the kids walk home from school only when they passed in front of our cul-de-sac.  The sound of cars often reached my ears, but I couldn't see much traffic from my vantage point.  

When I visit my neighbor's house, however, there is a much different viewpoint.  The sun is better visible as it rises, giving her a wonderful view of the sunrise from her bedroom window.  She can also see the cars as they drive from the entrance of the neighborhood until they turn the corner or reach their destination. From her perspective, every afternoon is like a parade of kids as students of all ages make their way home after a hard day of learning.  My location is private and more secluded, while hers is ideal for people watching.

If I only stick to my only narrow point of view, I'll never be able to understand why others think the way they think.  In the same way that I couldn't understand why my friend knew which car each neighbor drove or which kids lagged and who was eager to get home until I sat on her porch for awhile, I can't understand where someone is coming from until I venture out from my own point of view. When I try to see things from their perspective, figuratively putting myself in their position, I may have a better chance at getting why they hold their own peculiar point of view.  

When I change my viewpoint, seeking to see things from my opponent's perspective, I'll gain a better understanding into what drove them to adhere to such beliefs.

Humility.  Anyone who has spent time with toddlers understands what I mean when I say, "the world doesn't revolve around you."  Youngsters naturally have the idea that they are the center of the universe and that everyone exists to cater to their needs, to adapt to their agenda and to make their dreams a reality.  Good parenting works to bring this selfish point of view into a more realistic way of seeing how the child truly fits into the scheme of things.

Sometimes, however, I tend to slip back into this immature mindset, thinking my way is the best way, or that what I have to say is most important, or that since I think I understand a certain truth, it is my duty to teach it.  Instead, I can realize that there is always room for growth and there is always something I can learn.  When I do, I'll be able to better listen as I drop my preconceptions and truly hear what is being said (Proverbs 18:13).  Otherwise, I spend most of my time preparing my next argument.

When I humble myself, I can better hear what my opponent is trying to say.

I often think debate is mostly about expertly and effectively getting my own point across.  This mindset, however, does not lead to effective communication and is called the fool's way by godly men.  Therefore, I'd walk in wisdom if I sought to understand my opponents, changed my viewpoint, and humbled myself.  In these ways, I'll enter into debate that brings light to the Truth.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to preserve my faith so I can stop trying to defend it.

When do I spend so much time trying to prove my point that I never see the hurt that lies beneath my opponent's argument?

How do I have blinders on when it comes to looking from another point of view?

The Way of Wisdom

"Wisdom has built her house;

she has set up its seven pillars.

She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;

she has also set her table.

She has sent out her servants, and she calls

from the highest point of the city,

'Let all who are simple come to my house!'

To those who have no sense she says,

'Come, eat my food

and drink the wine I have mixed.

Leave your simple ways and you will live;

walk in the way of insight."

Proverbs 9:1-6

There are so many voices calling out to me, luring me down varying paths promised to bring good things.  These messages sound beneficial at times, make sense, seem right.  How do I know if I'm on the right track?  Here is one way:

Correction.  It can be hard to hear.  I like to think I'm pretty smart, clever enough to choose the right way.  I'm not as good as I think, however.  I'm often off-base in my thinking, or what I cling to as truth is actually far from it, or the ways I've learned to cope with the ups and downs of life is not God's best for me.  How do I respond when a loving voice gently corrects me, showing me a better way, suggesting I might not have it right?

It's easy to be offended when I hear words of criticism, no matter how gentle.  Most people have been in the position of trying to offer words of advice or help someone else see the error of their ways and found themselves in the middle of a heated argument.  Heels are dug in, defenses raised, the nails come out and teeth are barred in preparation for a fight!  Then there are the rare times when the rebuke is received with thanks, and my words of suggestion are considered and treasured as vital to their growth.

Which category do I fall into?  Am I quick to defend my choices, refusing to even ponder the thought that I might be wrong?  Or do I gladly take direction from others, adopting a teachable spirit that believes there is always something new to learn?  The first is that of the foolish, the latter marks the wise (Proverbs 9:7-9).

I'm on the right track in life, following the way of wisdom, if I'm willing to accept instruction with great joy.

Attitude toward God.  He's the big guy upstairs.  He won't mind if I indulge; He knows I can't resist.  What can God do to help me?  Even He can't change a woman like me; I'm beyond saving.  It's up to me to find the answers.  Who am I that God would help a little guy like me?

It's easy to develop a low view of God, not seeing Him as He really is.  As I go through life and hear varying messages, I'm often swayed into giving God less and less respect.  While He is above all things, sovereign over all creation, powerful enough to speak the world into existence yet gentle enough to direct the lives of even the smallest of sparrows, I often relegate Him to nothing more than an impotent Grandfatherly type, an observing-yet-uninvolved far-away Being (Matthew 10:29-31).  I fail to revere Him as Almighty God, Maker of heaven and earth, Giver and Taker of life, the very Reason for my existence and the Center of all things.

I'm on the right track in life, following the way of wisdom, if I'm learning to respect God in all of His glory (Proverbs 9:10a).

Knowledge of God.  I live in the age of information.  There is a surplus of data waiting for me to gather it, a plethora of facts to peruse, a bunch of trivia with which to amuse myself.  I could spend every spare moment collecting knowledge.  But how much time do I spend getting to know God?  While it's not my intention to lay a burden of guilt on my shoulders, my desire (or lack of it) to grow closer to God and gain understanding of His ways is a good indicator of which direction I'm heading in life.  

If I'm more concerned with learning how to stem global warming, invest money, plant a successful garden, or a million other worthwhile interests, yet rarely wonder about God, wanting to find out more about His infinite character, it's time to take pause.  If I've developed a hunger for God and His Word, looking forward to each moment I spend with Him as He teaches me more about His deep ways, I'm headed in the right direction.  May I ask God to open the eyes of my heart so I will see all the blessings that are mine in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:16-21) and desire to know more each day.

I'm on the right track, following the way of wisdom, if I'm seeking knowledge of God (Proverbs 9:10b).

It's sometimes hard to know if I'm headed in the right direction.  With all of the choices available to me, I just might be gullible enough to be swayed into taking the wrong path or hard-headed enough to stick to the one that leads away from God's best for me.  How do I know?  There are many signs, but if I'm willing to accept correction, learning to revere God, and hungry for more knowledge of God, chances are I'm headed in the way of life.  It's not popular to walk the way of wisdom, but the heavenly treasure I find there is worth every struggle.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can value godly wisdom above worldly knowledge. 

When do I seek to grow my intellect but fail to cultivate my knowledge of God?

How am I showing disrespect for God in the way I think of Him or refer to Him in conversation?

True Security

"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,

and the complacency of fools will destroy them;

but whoever listens to me will live in safety

and be at ease, without fear of harm."

Proverbs 1:32-33

We live in a tumultuous time.  Terrorism threatens, "progressive" agendas violate traditional values, and foolishness is disguised as wisdom.  How can we be safe and secure in such a time as this?  How can we keep from being swept away?  

It is possible.

Turn Toward.  Life is a journey.  I've heard it often, so frequently in fact that it's easy to dismiss it as a meaningless cliche.  But life really is a journey, a series of steps, a trip down a rocky path that often becomes difficult to negotiate and hard to navigate (Matthew 7:13-14).  I easily get off track, wandering away from the way He marked out for me to walk, enticed by worldly temptations, fleshly desires and the Devil himself.  

Since it's so easy to turn away from God and His plan for me, it's important that I constantly take the time to take stock, to inventory my heart.  Of course, this is not a job I can do using my own faulty discernment.  Instead, I find it vital to sit down in the peace of my Father's presence and ask Him to show me where I'm off, how my thinking is wrong, where I've strayed (Psalm 139:23-24).  Once He shows me, and He has never failed to do so and can always be counted on to answer this prayer, I can turn back toward Him and His loving Hand of correction.  He will direct me toward the way everlasting, the pure and lovely thoughts, and the healthier coping mechanism.  

To find true security in such a volatile world I will need to make it a practice to turn toward God.

Passion.  My relationship with Jesus can easily become a religion; a series of obligations I must fulfill, a set of rules I must follow, a regimen I'm expected to adhere to.  But Jesus died for more than this.  His love for me is so intense that it drove Him to undergo great agony for my sake.  In order that I might live and taste the life He meant for me to live when He first breathed life into my inert form, Jesus gave His own.  Even though He never sinned, is pure as could be, He took my sin upon Himself, suffering the agony of bearing the punishment meant for me (2 Corinthians 5:21).  This is how strongly and passionately He loves me.

I can love like this as well.  Not in my own strength, but because God's brand of love flows through me by faith in Jesus.  If I allow God to have His way, He will develop in me a similar passion for Him which will overflow with a compassion for others.  Instead of just learning His ways, then, I'll be driven by love to put it in action, to let Him move my hands and feet in ways that demonstrate His great love.  The hungry will be fed, the broken given hope, the imprisoned set free.  

To find true security in such a volatile world I can let God's great love for me develop into a passion for Him and His image bearers.

Heed.  Either I'm too busy to hear or I'm too afraid to listen.  The first is an unintentional blocking of God's voice, the second a deliberate effort to ignore Him.  

When my days are filled with errands to run, activities to participate in, tasks to perform, I rarely sense His leading or notice His hand at work around me.  Instead, I'm too intent on sticking to my schedule.

I'm not always busy, though, and it would seem those quiet moments would be the ideal atmosphere for hearing God's voice.  Unfortunately, I all too often am plagued by fear, assuming the message He has for me will hurt me, or that He'll expect me to do what I don't want to do, or that I just won't be able to handle His rebuke.  So I pretend I don't hear Him, or do what I can to divert my attention away from Him.  How I must hurt Him in my self-preserving efforts.  As my loving Father He has my best interest at heart and knows exactly what is best for me.  I can trust Him with my life and I have no reason to fear.  Fear is a choice I make that hampers intimacy with my Papa.

To find true security in such a volatile world I must learn to heed God's gentle promptings and expert lead.

It's easy to feel hopeless, wondering if it's even possible to live a life of integrity when the world seems to be falling down around me.  How can I stand firm and keep from being sucked into living in fear, adopting popular worldviews, or being shaped by foolish rhetoric?  I can purposefully allow God to search my heart for what doesn't belong and responsively turn toward His best, allow God's love to develop in me a passion for Him and people, and to heed His lead.  When I do, I will find true security despite the volatile nature of the world.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God enough to listen to what He is saying to me.

When am I afraid to hear what He wants to say to me?

How do I intentionally keep myself busy so I won't have to deal with His correction or His conviction?