Better Left Unsaid

"This time he told the dream to his father

as well as to his brothers,

but his father scolded him.

'What kind of dream is that?' he asked.

'Will your mother and I and your brothers

actually come and bow to the ground before you?'

But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph,

his father wondered what the dreams meant."

Genesis 37:10-11

The dream filled the boy with a feeling of self-worth and purpose.  If God has placed me in such a high position, I'd better let everyone know so we can all be on the same page!  And so he shared the details of the dream with his family, telling them how their bundles of grain bowed before his, and how the sun, the moon and eleven stars did the same. (Genesis 37:5-9)

Joseph might have thought his family would be happy to hear this prophetic dream, but he miscalculated their reaction.  As was to be expected, his brothers only hated him all the more and even his father was perplexed by this dream.  Jacob must have asked himself, who does this boy think he is?

I can find an important lesson in studying how Joseph handled this powerful vision.  There are times when I am tempted to tell everything I know, inciting others to hatred, jealousy or anger.  While some things need to be told, others are better left unsaid. Therefore before I speak, it is important that I take a sober look at my motivation for saying the words I'm thinking.

Prideful

His eyes took in the magnificence of his beloved Babylon.  "By my own mighty power, I have built this beautiful city as my royal residence to display my majestic splendor." (Daniel 4:30)  Soon, this man found himself grazing the fields like an animal, taking seven years for God to humble the great and mighty king Nebuchadnezzar.

When this prideful king uttered those condemning words that fateful day, his purpose was to elevate himself and bring glory to his own name.  While I personally don't know anyone who is so full of himself, I can think of times when I say things only to improve my image before others, or to boost my own self-confidence, or to draw attention to my good qualities.

As a human with a sinful nature, I am naturally the center of my own universe.  As I come closer to the Lord, however, He is constantly wearing away those old selfish ways so I can let Christ be the focal point of every part of my life.  Carefully considering my speech before a word leaves my mouth is one way to honor Him as Lord.

If I'm thinking of a way to elevate myself, these are words that are better left unsaid.

Personal

Mary and Joseph watched in wonder as a steady stream of shepherds, grimy from their work in the fields, streamed into their tiny temporary home.  The men chattered about the wondrous angelic choir which had announced the birth of the tiny Savior minutes before, but fell silent as they stood before the babe in the manger, worshiping Him in humble awe.  As Mary gazed upon the scene, she held it all in her heart, marveling at the wonder of it all. (Luke 2:19)

Some messages are meant just for me.  In the same way that Mary treasured all the things she had heard and seen and pondered them in her heart, I would be wise to consider whether a message, experience or happening is meant to be shared.  

Perhaps God is using His Word to convict me of a certain area of sin.  Instead of keeping it to myself, though, I might feel tempted to challenge others with the same conviction.  Other times I may be inspired by the realization of a personal triumph of faith.  In the place of using the victory to spur me on, however, I may want to hold it up as some kind of standard for others to reach. Then there are times when a friend reveals a private struggle, seeking prayer and counsel from me.  While I may think her story is a good example of God's grace working in a redeemed life, betraying her confidence might damage the trust we have built.

If I receive a personal message that is meant only for my ears, these words are better left unsaid.

Manipulative

"I was deeply moved by your latest movie: You are a gifted actor.  I've seen every one of your films but I think this is the best one yet!"  It's easy to gush over celebrities or other people who are in a position of influence.  While I might mean the words I say, I must be careful that I'm not trying to flatter in order to gain their trust, perhaps winning the opportunity to benefit from their position of influence.

There are not too many opportunities in my life when I will run into a powerful person who could be used in a way that benefits me.  There are, however, many times when I am tempted to use my words to get what I want. 

If I overspent at the grocery store, I may think it necessary to fix a nice dinner for my husband and compliment him on his hard work on the job before I break the news to him.  Is my heart truly meaning what I say or am I just trying to use my words to butter up my beloved so he will more easily take the disappointment?

Or perhaps I mine for compliments from friends, using my words in a way that coerces them into building me up.  Other times I might simply lay on a guilt trip, bringing up past hurts as a way to lead my family into feeling shame.

If I am using my words as a weapon to achieve a goal that will benefit me, these are things that are better left unsaid.

In the same way that Joseph sharing his dream brought trouble upon himself, so my words can heap a world of hurt upon my shoulders.  Consequently, I would be wise to use the guidance of God's Spirit to choose them wisely.  If the message I'm about to deliver is for the purpose of building me up, is personal in nature, or is meant to manipulate others, these are words that are better left unsaid.  If I stay sensitive to the gentle quiet voice that discerns my own sinful motivations from His, my words will more often bring glory to God.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God to be a filter for my mouth.

When do I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind?

How am I using my words to get what I want instead of to build others up, bringing glory to God?

Let God Exalt

"'For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled,

and he who humbles himself will be exalted.'

Then Jesus said to his host,

'When you give a luncheon or dinner,

do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives,

or your rich neighbors;

if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.

But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, 

the crippled, the lame, the blind,

and you will be blessed.

Although they cannot repay you,

you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.'"

Luke 14:11-14

As I rounded the corner, suddenly she loomed up in front of me, her beauty and majesty taking up my entire field of vision.  "I've missed Mt Rainier."  I sighed to my husband as I took in all 14,410 ft of her snow-covered splendor.  I grew up at the foot of this dormant volcano, seeing her spectacular beauty every day of my life.  Despite her magnificence, I took her presence for granted, not realizing how astonishing was her sight until I moved to the other side of the country where mountains are covered in trees and much less remarkable.

Just as God makes evident the majesty of His creation without ever needing the help of the created to toot her own horn, so I should let God be the one to do any exalting that needs to be done in my life.  The world tells me to let others know of my accomplishments, to be proud of who I am, to expect the best out of life and to give with the intention of receiving something in return, even if its just the good feeling that comes with helping others.

God's kingdom, however, operates under a different set of parameters.  His way teaches things that run counter to my fleshly way of thinking, as well as to what the world teaches.  Living life His way, however, is the only way to please Him.

The Proud

He was at the pinnacle of his career.  His empire spread to the far reaches of the known earth and everyone feared his name.  His building projects were infamous and innovative.  He spear-headed a venture to build a ten-mile wall to surround his city.  This fortification boasted enough room for two houses to stand face to face on top with enough space in between to drive a 4-horse chariot.  No one else could accomplish that but him, the mighty Nebuchadnezzar.

One day as he was walking among his famed hanging gardens on top of his palace, his chest puffed with pride as he surveyed his great city.  "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" (Daniel 4:30)

Immediately, God set to work humbling the man, just as He promised He would do in a dream that so distressed Nebuchadnezzar a year before. Unfortunately, the king didn't take Daniel's advice to turn from his sinful and wicked ways, but continued living as he always had for the twelve months to come.

God has a way of humbling a man, as the once proud king said at the end of his 7-year time of insanity.  (Daniel 4:31-34)   For Nebuchadnezzar, it took a time acting like an animal and behaving in a way that would earn him a one-way-ticket to the insane asylum in this day and age.  What does it take for me?  

Perhaps God will need to take away my health to show me that a vigorous, well-working body comes from Him.  Maybe He'll place me in a position where I'm all alone as my family abandons me for greener pastures, teaching me that He is the only source who can fill my needs.  It could be that He will show me Who's really in charge by removing His favor from me as I watch my world crumble around me.

Whatever the method, God knows how to humble a man, or a woman for that matter. (Daniel 4:37) The question is, how will I respond?  Oswald Chambers describes the humbling process like this.  "You have had the vision, but you are not there yet by any means.  It is when we are in the valley,  where we prove whether we will be the choice ones, that most of us turn back.  We are not quite prepared for the blows which must come if we are going to be turned into the shape of the vision. The battering always come in commonplace ways and through commonplace people."

In order to please God I will need to let Him use whatever means necessary to humble me.

The Humble

They were certain of their own righteousness.  As they looked confidently up to heaven, they prayed in a loud and mighty voice, talking to God as if they had a right to stand at His feet.  'I am so thankful, Heavenly Father, that I am not like others who struggle with sins of all kinds.  I don't lie, cheat, steal, covet or kill.  I do what You ask me to do, tithing on a regular basis and never straying from your path.  I have reached a level of which many dream but never attain: I fast not once, but two times every week.  Thank you for making me so very good, Heavenly Father."

Meanwhile, in the back of the sanctuary stood a woman dressed in seductive clothing.  Many sneered at her, whispering to each other, "How dare she come here dressed like that."  She kept her eyes down, not daring to look up at the cross, feeling the weight of her sins.  As she crumpled to the ground in shame, her heart cried out to God.  "Help me, Father.  I know I don't deserve a thing, I've done so many bad things.  I need you, Jesus, please save me." (Luke 18:9-14)

Which of the two described above went home right with God?  The one who thought he already was good enough, or the one who acknowledged her depravity?  Jesus said the woman was the one who humbled herself before God and would thus be exalted by Him.

It reminds me of a college class in clay modeling that my daughters took as a part of their Illustration degree.  Before they could begin creating the form they had in their mind, they needed to get the clay to the consistency needed to make it malleable.  This involved wetting the clay and working it with their hands in order to warm it up.  If the clay became too dry, though, they had to let it sit in a bucket of water for a few days to re-hydrate it, otherwise it would be rigid, inflexible and unworkable.

This is like my heart.  If I already think I have things pretty well under control, my attitude is not compliant.  Before God can form me into the shape He has created me to take, I will need to become a malleable lump of clay, willing to let Him mold me.

In order to please God I will need to be humble enough to let Him transform my life for His glory.

Unpaid

When my daughters were in Middle School, I required them to perform community service as part of their homeschool curriculum.  They volunteered at the local library, shelving books, preparing new books for circulation, stamping cards and helping with special events.  Since they received no pay for this work, it helped them to learn that they didn't need a selfish motivation in order to do good things.  

Once they reached High School, then, it was not a surprise that they willingly helped run a free afterschool program from our home.  Their experience working without pay paved the way for a lifetime of willing service in God's kingdom.

There are many reasons I choose to do the things I do.  It could be that I feel guilty for some past or present sins and think I need to make up for that by doing extra good things in order to balance out the scale. There are times when I may feel bad about myself and helping others gives my feeling of well-being a boost.  Other times I could feel an obligation to volunteer in a ministry because that's what I know Christians are supposed to do.

These all seem like good reasons to my human, common-sense way of thinking.  Unfortunately, to God it looks like my heart is in the wrong place.  Whatever I do, my heart must lead out of a desire to obey God and please Him.  When I put myself into the equation, even to the tiniest degree, I'm tainting my motivation with selfish desires.

Instead, I want to make it my desire to store up for myself treasures in heaven by putting His kingdom first and placing my own desire for recognition, good feelings or brownie points to the side.  I guess Jesus said it best when He said, "Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it.  It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. . .Just do it--quietly and unobtrusively.  That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out."  (Matthew 6:1,4 MSG)

When my attitude is all about glorying God and obeying His calling on my life, I won't have time to worry about how it makes me look.  Instead, I'll be focused on how it makes my Father feel.

In order to please God I will need to be willing to work for nothing in order to later gain everything.

I find it natural and easy to walk in pride, trying to gain recognition for my work and to only do what gives me something in return.  As a member of God's kingdom, however, there is another way.  His way calls me to allow His humbling hand to mold me, His righteous mouth to do the praising, and my reward to come from Him when in eternity I stand in His presence.  As my attitude become more like that of Christ, His ways will start to become my ways.

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I will place myself in my loving Father's hands for refining.

When do I desire to toot my own horn instead of letting God do it in His time and a place of His choosing?

How do I seek payment now for what I'm doing for God?

The Writing is on the Wall

"But you his son, O Belshazzar,

have not humbled yourself,

though you knew all this.

Instead, you have set yourself up

against the Lord of heaven."

Daniel 5:22-23a

He had grown up hearing the stories of his father's humbling.  He knew the tales.  How many nights had he sat at his father's knee as the account was told of how the Lord had humbled him, taking his sanity and humanity for a period of seven years?  As a boy he had learned how God had effectively lowered his father to a position of humility as he grazed in the fields like a cow and slept under the open sky as the dew fell upon him each night.  It was told that his mind was gone, his appearance like that of a wild man, his majesty had vanished.  

Mercifully, at the end of the episode, his father's attitude had changed.  What he used to say of himself, he now proclaimed of God; "How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders!  His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation."  (Daniel 4:3)

Belshazzar, King of Babylon, knew the stories.  Despite the fact that he had full disclosure, though, he made the decision to play around with God.  He defiled the holy and sacred articles of His temple by using the golden goblets for drunken revelry.  He ignored what he knew about God and instead exalted himself and his false gods.  He knowingly defied the warnings of his father, choosing to live his life for his own pleasure instead of giving God His rightful place.

Belshazzar was playing with fire.

In the same way, I have heard the stories.  I know the tales.  I have listened to countless retellings of the truth.  Yet many times I live my life my own way, consciously defying His teachings; doing things the way I see fit instead of consulting God; living as those around me live instead of as a treasured possession.  

I Reap What I Sow

It has been so much fun to watch the seeds I have sown this spring sprout and poke up out of the earth.  It is such a miracle to stick a bean seed in the ground, water it, and about a week later watch a tiny plant emerge from beneath the soil.  In a few weeks, I will be harvesting tomatoes, cabbage, green beans, carrots, radishes, peas, cucumbers, zucchini, cantaloupe, watermelon and green peppers.  I even tried planting some garlic this year.  I will reap what I have sown.

In the same way, I get out of life what I put into it.  Many times, though, I expect beans when I have planted carrots.  In other words, I expect peace when I have inputted strife.  I want tranquility but I have anger and bitterness in my heart.  I think I should be content, but I have let my fleshly desires drive my actions.  

If I want the fruit of God's Spirit to be evident in my life, I must let Him sow His seeds in my heart.   If, however, I keep insisting on defending myself and my reputation against gossip and slander, then I know that my heart will not be at peace.  If I continue to sow seeds of anger and bitterness toward those who have hurt or disappointed me, I can count on the fact that I will suffer a harvest of chaos and turmoil.  If I persist in striving for personal gain, I can depend on the fact that I will experience discontent. 


It is said that Albert Einstein is responsible for the following definition of insanity; "doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."   Knowing that following the desires of my flesh will lead to fruits of the flesh yet expecting fruits of God's Spirit fulfills that definition of insanity.  If I want to exhibit godly fruit, I must sow godly seeds.


It is wise for me to heed the writing on the wall: I reap what I sow.

I am Saved by Grace

I have heard it from the time I first accepted Jesus as my Savior:  I am saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.  There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation.  I am not good enough on my own to enter into the presence of a holy God. I need Jesus to cleanse me and make me righteous.  

Still, I try to be good enough.  I do things out of guilt.  I think I need to reach a certain standard before I'll be accepted by God.  In so doing, I deny the grace of God.  

As you listen to By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North, reflect on the ways you deny the grace of God.

Grace is the unmerited favor of God, or putting it another way, grace is God giving us what we don't deserve.  Even though I don't deserve life, He gives it through simple faith in Jesus Christ. Despite the fact that I can never reach God's standard, I am made righteous by the blood of Jesus.  In spite of my own weakness, I am made strong through His power.


Accepting the grace of God means I will stop thinking I need to work my way into God's favor and instead accept His free gift of salvation.  It is then that I will be living the truth that, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21)  It is then that I will be free to love as He loves me.


It is wise for me to heed the writing on the wall: I am saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

Sanctification is a Process

I remember the little figurine we gave to my cousin one year for his birthday.  It was the sculpture of a little boy adorned with a plaque that said, "Please be patient.  God isn't finished with me yet."  I always remembered that sentiment growing up, understanding that when I entered into a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, I was at the beginning of a lifelong journey.  God continues to use circumstances, people, trials, tribulations and His Word to shape me into the image of His Son.    In other words, "He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 1:6)

Why, then, do I expect so much from myself?  I get frustrated when I fall into the same areas of struggle.  I don't see the progress God has made in my walk with Him.  I feel like I'm right where I was when I started.

As my Sunday School Teacher said, "If you're not moving toward Jesus, then you are moving away from Him."  As long as I'm working on my relationship with Him, spending time studying His Word, meditating on His wisdom, paying attention to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and applying His lessons, then I am growing.  Maybe I don't notice the changes God is creating, but He does.  I can rest in the knowledge that, "The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me."  (Psalm 138:8)

It is important, however, that I don't make the process more important than my relationship with God.  Purification cannot be my goal, rather, a closer relationship with God and to please Him is to be my heart's desire.

I am challenged by the words of Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest.  "Your god may be your little Christian habit, the habit of prayer at stated times, or the habit of Bible reading.  Watch how your Father will upset those times if you begin to worship your habit instead of what the habit symbolizes--I can't do that just now, I am praying; it is my hour with God. No, it is your hour with your habit."  

I must always be mindful that the same routines and practices that can lead me closer to Christ can also take me away from complete devotion to Him.  As I go through the process of lifelong purification, it is my desire that my holiness is not what matters most, but keeping true to Him is my supreme ambition. 

It is wise for me to heed the writing on the wall: Sanctification is a lifelong process.

There are many things I know as a follower of Christ:  I will reap what I sow, I am saved by grace, and my sanctification is a process that takes a lifetime.  Despite this knowledge, I often fail to heed the writing on the wall.  It is my desire that I will not only learn these truths, but put them into practice and make them an integral part of my identity in Christ.

As I begin this day, it is my prayer that I will take these truths to heart.

How do I try to earn grace, thinking I need to be good enough before God will accept me?

When do I expect perfection from myself or others when I know it takes a lifetime?

A Just Judge

"When they hurled their insults at him,

he did not retaliate;

when he suffered,

he made no threats.

Instead,

he entrusted himself to 

him who judges justly."

1 Peter 2:23

We live in a litigious society where people are quick to file a lawsuit at the slightest sign of insult, injury or perceived injustice.  Even children carry this attitude where common phrases used in the school yard include, "Oh no you didn't!" or "I'm gonna deck you in the throat." Everyone is ready to fight at the drop of a hat.

In contrast, Jesus had every right to defend himself before his accusers.  They mocked Him, beat Him, humiliated Him and brutally killed Him.  As the divine Son of God, He had all authority to save Himself.  If anyone deserved respect, it was Him. If anyone was completely innocent of all charges, it was Him.  If anyone had the right to be angry at the treatment He received, it was Him.  But He, "did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."  (Mark 10:45)

Jesus came on a mission. . . a mission to save the people from the penalty of our sins.  As One who was sent by His Father for this purpose, He was willing to put Himself at the mercy of cruel people for our sake, knowing that the Father's justice would prevail.  It seemed like He was losing the battle, but He would ultimately win the war. 

What would it look like if I entrusted my case to God; A Just Judge?

Submit to Authority  

My palms started to sweat as a saw the familiar blue flashing light pull in behind me, keeping pace with me as I drove through the intersection. I'm sure he's going after someone else, I comforted myself and confidently eased to the right, giving him room to pass.  To my horror, he shadowed my movement, coming to a stop directly behind my van. 

Oh No!  

A boy who looked to be fresh out of high school walked up to my window and asked, "Ma'am, did you see the signal turn red?"

"Yes, you need to check this light because the timing is off.  The yellow always seems to be much shorter than all the other lights.  It throws me off every time."  I instruct as I justify my transgression to the officer.  

"I'll make sure they check this signal,"  the young man reassured me as he tore off the ticket and handed it to me.

As you can see, I am not always good at submitting to authority.  I usually am more concerned with defending myself or making sure that no one takes advantage of me.  In the above example, I was clearly in the wrong and should have taken my punishment quietly and compliantly.  

There are times, however, when corruption exists in positions of power and leadership and people are treated unjustly. Men have served years in jail for crimes they did not commit.  Some have lost jobs for reasons that are less than honest.  Others become a scapegoat for someone else's indiscretion, their life left as a heap of ruins in the wake of the scandal.  That's not fair!

If I hand over authority to God to defend me, trusting that He will judge fairly and impartially, I can rest easy knowing that justice will be served.  But there is another reason as revealed in 1 Peter 2:15.  When I submit myself to authority for the Lord's sake, ". . .it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men."

God has a way of using my obedience to put people in their place.  There is no need for me to try and do it myself.  Instead, I can trust God with that task.

If I trust God to serve as the just judge in my life, I can rest easy, knowing that, "those who walk in pride he is able to humble."  (Daniel 4:37b) 

Live as Free Men

I am not free when I feel the need to defend myself against perceived injustice carried out against me.   False accusation. . . unkind words. . . unfair treatment. . . lack of understanding.  All of these seemingly benign acts can trigger my inner soldier, sending me to take up my battle position.

When I instead let God act as my defender, I am free to live as He has called me to live.  I can show proper respect to everyone.  As one who no longer needs to defend, I can freely love my siblings in Christ.  I naturally fear God, showing Him reverence above all.  I am able to honor the president or any other leader, even when I don't agree with him.  (1 Peter 2:17)

Giving God the authority in my life to protect me and look after me instead of taking on that role myself, means I am free.

If I trust God to act as my guardian, I am free to love as He has loved me.  

Serve Wholeheartedly

"Good enough for government work."  I've used this phrase more than once in my life to describe a mediocre job completed that met the standards but did not exceed them.  I did just enough to get by.

Once I turn judgement and guardianship over to God, however, I can go well beyond putting forth this second-rate effort.   I can do whatever job I find myself doing with all my heart, as if I were serving God Himself.  Even though I may feel unappreciated here and now, my godly attitude is not ignored by the One who will reward according to what I have done.

When I'm changing diapers for the umpteenth time today, God notices the tender loving care I give to my baby.  When I utter a silent prayer for my grumpy boss who always seems to be out to get me,  the LORD appreciates my tender heart.  When I clean up after others without saying a word, using it as a ministry of God's love, He sees my efforts.  

Commendation is nice and gratifying, but what I truly want is for God to say at the end of my life, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

If I trust God as the giver of rewards, I can serve Him wholeheartedly in whatever I do, doing my very best for Him.

I am quick to take up my case before men, defending myself and looking for the respect I think I earned, but God has another way.  If I entrust justice, my protection and desire for reward to Him, I will be able to submit to authority, live freely and serve wholeheartedly.

In this way I am able to do with my life as Robert Browning said and, ". . . make the absolute best of what God made."  

As I begin this day it is my prayer that I can trust God to defend me when I feel threatened.

How do I look for ways to defend myself instead of being free to love others?

When do I only do what is necessary instead of doing my very best for God?