"LORD, if you kept a record of our sins,
who, O Lord, could ever survive?
But you offer forgiveness,
that we might learn to fear you."
Psalm 130:3-4
Do you ever feel like we take God too lightly? That as a people, we've somehow lowered Him to a position unworthy of His majesty? That in our hunger for His companionship, we have made Him out to be a friend who is like our human friends? It's not the idea of intimacy that bothers me. Rather it's the casual way we view Him that doesn't seem quite right.
When I came across this scripture, it stirred something inside, opened up a new layer of understanding, generated new questions to explore. Won't you come along with me, dear reader?
Usually, I think that the forgiveness offered through faith in Jesus Christ results in thanksgiving and cultivates a grateful spirit. I'm so glad that God forgives me through Christ, that He doesn't give me what I deserve, that I owe Him my life in return, a kind of sacrifice of praise in the way I live (Romans 6:23,12:1). There is more, however, a deeper manifestation of forgiveness than I realized.
Inadequacy. We all have sinned (Romans 3:23). No one is good, not one (Ecclesiastes 7:20). There is no man or woman, boy or girl, who has ever lived in all of history who was able to reach God's perfect standard. Not the virgin Mary. Not Mother Teresa. Not Billy Graham. No matter how well someone lives their life, each is still a sinful creature in desperate need of a Savior.
Once I understand and recognize my inability to be good enough to stand before a holy, righteous God in my own right, without the benefit of an advocate to argue my case, without the sanctifying cover of the blood of Jesus, I realize the depth of my sin problem. The sin that is part of who I am, that I cannot help, that comes so naturally to me, is also the very thing that estranges me from the One who loves me perfectly, who has the power to make my life complete, who has what I've been searching for all my life. But I, in myself, cannot survive His holy wrath if He chose to unleash upon me what I deserve from Him. Even more, I cannot even come into His presence on my own to receive anything good from Him who is the source of all that is good (James 1:17).
Before I can receive the forgiveness of God through faith in Jesus Christ, I must come to a point of depravity, knowing my need for His pardon and my utter inability to earn it in any way.
Mercy. Think about a world where I received what I truly deserved. Sure, in my prideful way of thinking, I imagine that I have earned good things by the way I live my life, in the beneficial decisions that I make, in the generosity of my giving. But my ability to judge my own behavior is tainted by sin, it is inaccurate to say the least. Only God knows what I truly deserve. And if He gave me what I earned through my twisted way of living, the destructive habits and patterns I've learned as a way of coping with this dark world, the self-centered method I've used to order my priorities, I'd be dead in a heartbeat. If God really did keep a record of all my corrupt behaviors and mindsets, I would never leave a single day.
But there is a holding off of His righteous judgment until the appointed time, a grace period, an interval intentionally left between the sin I commit and the judgement I deserve. This gap in time leaves room from the grace of God that is mine through faith in Jesus Christ. Since it is my Father's will that all of His created image bearers come to a saving faith in Jesus, He graciously leaves time for each to come to repentance and accept the gift of mercy that comes by faith in Christ (2 Peter 3:9).
As I come to a recognition of my own depravity, I can then acknowledge God's merciful timing in holding off judgment to leave time for repentance.
Offer. I see my need for a Savior, my own inability to save myself from the sin of my flesh. I recognize God mercifully chooses to not judge me on the spot for how I've grieved Him, but gives time for all to come to Christ by faith. Then I see the offer of salvation for what it is: a gift of mercy by a merciful God. It dawns on me that a thin yet powerful layer of blood separates me from the righteous wrath of God. It becomes evident to me that my very flesh repulses God. If it weren't for Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross, I'd have no hope of coming boldly before the throne of grace to freely receive all that I need to live for Him (Hebrews 4:16)
And the awe comes, the reverence for such a holy God who I am unable to see for His sacredness, the fear for a righteous God I don't deserve yet have freely been offered. Who am I to kneel before Him? How is it that I can speak to Him as if He were a good friend? Why am I able to open my heart to Him as a beloved daughter to a Father? As I ponder such mysteries, I offer back my reverence in response for such a God as this.
The dawning of my own need for a Savior, followed by gratitude for His merciful timing that allowed me to be found in my lostness, results in my astonishment of Him as a dangerous God from whose wrath I've been mercifully saved in order to be able to know Him as Papa. Of this may I never forget.
It's easy to take sin casually in light of the forgiveness that is mine through faith in Christ. It is equally as natural to start seeing God as if He were like man, able to be fully understood and thus like one of us. There is an understanding that comes through forgiveness where I realize my own inadequacy, acknowledge God's merciful timing in holding off judgement, and offer back my reverence in response to the forgiveness that is mine through Christ. This is the ministry of Forgiveness, not that I simply accept and be thankful, but that I come to a deeper understanding of His holy nature and righteous wrath. He is a dangerous God who welcomes me into His refuge of mercy; of this I must always stand in awe.
As I begin this day it is my prayer that a spirit of respect and awe will grow for God.
When do I take the gift of forgiveness for granted, treating it as a cheap gift?
How am I living in a way that shows my disregard for God's holy nature?
